Never Allow Regret To Hold You Back

Recently, I attended a celebration of life gathering held in memory of a friend who died under tragic circumstances. He was an incredible energy healer, and also exquisitely crafted Native American flutes and drums. We had been friends for decades, but over the years we saw less and less of each other. The relationship between us was, however, a matter of ‘out of sight, out of mind.’

Our individual schedules were such that life eventually got in the way. There was however an unmistakable mutual respect and heart-centered connection between us facilitated by Spirit whenever we did meet. We would offer each other guidance, support, and fresh perspectives in those special moments.

My friend and his wife met about two decades ago at a spiritual event and eventually became an incredible spiritual team. Before they met, I remember his future wife asking me to swap readings with her.

“Sure, why not?” I said, although I was actually quite nervous and still new to doing readings on a ‘professional basis.’

When I read for her, the information that came through included various confirmations regarding her spiritual work, including her music, becoming an author, teaching, and her increased spirit connection. Last, but not least, there was also the indication of a potential romantic relationship, including a timeframe for approximately when this might unfold. Soon after, the two of them met. Over the years, it was great to see their relationship blossom and thrive. They truly became partners in life, love, and business.

Regret, remorse, sorrow all emotions that can result in negative feelings. Only you can change your emotions to positive ones, you cannot change the past but you can change the future ~ Catherine Pulsifer

When I heard of his sudden passing, I was shaken to the core. It was more than my analytical mind could comprehend or process. Spirit at least provided me the comfort of knowing he was now watching over his wife and family. He is now merely in a different expression of life. Physical life comes to an end, but the tale of our consciousness continues.

What I did not expect was that over the weeks until the date of his celebration of life memorial, my friend and Spirit had other plans.

White Owl Duo is the name of their spiritual music business. Suddenly, I began to hear owls in the woods, vehicles and billboards with ‘owl’ references would pass by me, and so on. I also sensed the gentle touch of a hand on my shoulder. Was this Ken, or merely wishful thinking?

I realized in those moments that I absolutely needed to somehow rearrange my schedule to attend his celebration of life. Family and friends came from across the country to celebrate his life. I attended with a heavy heart, burdened by guilt and regret. Regret for not having nurtured and deepened our friendship through the years; regret for not making time more often to see him. With regret our mind becomes preoccupied and obsessed with beating ourselves up on what we wish we had done, or had not done.

When his wife saw me enter the chapel, she excused herself from a conversation and came over to greet me with her hand on her heart. She thanked me for being there.

During the service, a friend of theirs sang and chanted a Native American tribute. I closed my eyes and entered a state of exquisite peace and reverence. Then Spirit invited me to open my eyes, for me to witness the apparition of a large, white owl gliding across the church platform past the Native American singer. Then the energy connection seemed to expand, and I perceived several other spirit owls flying by. Then I heard the word, “ancestors.” His loved ones were joining from the Spirit realm.

Many people choose to dwell on their failures. This leads to unnecessary worrying, regret, shame, and stress. Instead of dwelling on the past, you can reflect on your experiences and use negative situations as a learning experience ~ Morris Pratt

After the service, his widow and I faced each other hand in hand, reconnecting our hearts. My final words to her were ones of regret for not staying in touch more. But she interrupted me and said, “No regrets, my dear friend. He always only had love for you, and he was deeply grateful for your friendship. Your paths unfolded in different directions, but he always knew you were there for him, no matter what.”

In life there will always be regrets. It is inevitable. We regret that we didn’t leave that dead-end job or toxic relationship earlier. We regret neglecting our friendships, parents, or relatives. We regret not visiting an ailing family member to say goodbye before they passed. We regret not having learned a specific skill, or pursuing that dream or passion.

But no matter what regret we may have, we must ensure it does not hold us back or keep us trapped in a place of sadness, fear or suffering. We must instead learn from it, grow, and strive to do better going forward. There is no future in the past.

What I have learned from the loss of my dear friend, it is that it is the strength and quality of our heart connection that truly matters, not the amount of time we spend with others. In life feeling regret is inevitable and natural, but be sure to convert it to action that moves you forward and upward.