It Just Happened

Too often people justify their poor judgment and bad choices with feeble excuses like, “It just happened.” But we all know that this is seldom the truth. The reality is that every step in our life is a choice. Whether we step forward, sideways, backwards, or stand still, it is a choice. And we should take personal responsibility for our life choices.

In everyday life we do not think much about where our steps may be leading us. We are typically just walking automatically in some direction. Many people simply live by trial and error.

However, when things go bad for us, it is usually because we have subconsciously, or even consciously, made the choice to move in a certain direction – a direction that we intuitively knew was not serving our highest good. And sadly, many times these bad choices also severely affect others.

For example, a friend of mine, who has only been married for one year, currently remains geographically separated from her husband, until she gets her immigration paperwork to be able to join him legally in his country. They had a beautiful wedding, and made the usual promises: to love and cherish, be faithful, in sickness and health, until death do them part.

Despite their long-distance marriage, they were doing everything right during the waiting period – or so it seemed. They called each other daily on the phone, and also talked on video chat. They constantly texted loving messages. He was originally also able to come and visit her here in Canada, but she could not cross the border to see him. However, when the Covid-19 pandemic hit, he was also denied entry. They had no further choice but to wait it out.

Shed the excuses and face reality. Excuses are the loser’s way out. They will mar your credibility and stunt your personal growth ~ Alexander Pope

A couple of weeks ago, she noticed a sudden change in her husband. The tone of his messages changed significantly, and then his calls just stopped. He was also not answering any of her calls. His wife thought he might just be tired and stressed, as he works night-shifts and was also doing some renovations at their new home. She believed he might just be burning the candle at both ends.

This weekend, when she finally got hold of him, she confronted him about his lack of contact. She is an empath, and could sense something was not entirely right. He finally confessed that he was having an affair with a mutual friend’s wife, and he had moved her into their house – the house she could not live in, until her paperwork has been approved.

His explanation was, “It just happened.”

Well, no. It did not just happen! He made a conscious decision to enter into an adulterous affair, even though he knew it was wrong, and it would definitely hurt his wife’s feelings very deeply. And it did. She lost her sense of meaning, and her self-esteem. She was devastated. She never saw this coming. In fact, he had apparently moved his new girlfriend into the house within just a week of starting the affair!

The next time you are tempted to make a bad decision, only to use an excuse like “it just happened,” when it all goes wrong, remind yourself that the choice your are making may be disrespectful, hurtful, damaging and cruel to yourself, or someone else. Before you go there, just sit quietly for a moment, breathe deeply, tap into your inner guidance system, and ask yourself if this choice you are making is possibly going to cause yourself or someone else pain, loss or suffering.

To achieve life mastery and be worthy of a life well lived, we must take action, ownership, and responsibility for our choices. Our date with destiny is not about reaching a final destination. It is about how fully we live the journey ~ Will Craig

If the answer is a definite no, then by all means  move forward with your choice. But if the answer is yes, or even just maybe, then please take more time to think carefully about what you are doing. Your choice could potentially cause someone else much harm, and even cause them to take their own life, because they were knocked down to the core of their soul and have lost their sense of meaning.

Hold yourself accountable and take responsibility for your life choices.  “It just happened,” is never a good enough reason for anything. I have heard it used as an excuse for adultery, drug addiction, alcoholism, theft, cheating on tests, bullying, sexual harassment, violent assault. It is an appalling, dreadful excuse for anything we choose to do in life.

Even in positive situations, it never just happens. You manifest most of the good that comes into your life, just like you create most of the bad stuff. You sent subconscious or conscious message out into Universe, and your angels and guides, and they have responded favorably, ensuring the good comes to you.

Every step in life is a choice: good, bad or ugly. You are a spiritual being in human form. Choose the good. Karma is real. Never cause another person to end their life, because of your irresponsible choices.