The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’

I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.

He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.

After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.

The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?

Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?

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