Do You Know If Your Partner Is Cheating?
I often have married people call me for insight into whether their spouse is cheating on them. In some cases, I also consult with clients who are having an extramarital affair themselves.
It has become increasingly common for clients to confide in me about their infidelity, revealing that while they are married, they are also dating or having sexual relationships with others outside of their marriage.
One trend I have noticed in recent years is that more women seem to be engaging in infidelity, at least among those who come to me for counseling.
What I often find particularly intriguing is that in many cases people believe, for the wrong reasons, that the person they are having an affair with is more compatible with them than their current spouse.
Despite the morally complex situations in which my clients find themselves, I make it a point not to judge them. My job is to provide the best possible insights and information to help people navigate their circumstances for their highest good; not to question their life choices.
My clients often express their appreciation for my nonjudgmental approach, noting that I don’t lecture or impose my personal opinions. This is a given for me, as it is considered essential and non-negotiable among reputable, ethical psychic advisors. Also, I haven’t walked in their shoes. Life is complex, and none of us are without flaws.
You didn’t just cheat on me; you cheated on us. You didn’t just break my heart; you broke our future ~ Steve Maraboli
The Statistics Of Cheating
The reality of infidelity is disheartening. as reflected in statistics from various sources. A 2018 study by the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) found that about 20% of married men and 13% of married women have cheated on their spouse at least once during their marriage.
The General Social Survey (GSS), a long-term study conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago, shows that men over the age of 60 are more likely to have cheated, with 26% admitting to infidelity, compared to 16% of women in the same age group.
Research published in the Journal of Sex Research found that emotional infidelity is common, occurring in up to 45% of marriages. In addition, 56% of men and 34% of women who cheat cite sexual dissatisfaction as a primary motivation. A study by Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at the Kinsey Institute, found that 74% of men cited sexual variety or novelty as a reason for cheating, while 50% of women cited emotional dissatisfaction.
A study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that approximately 10% of married adults have hidden or maintained secret social media accounts from their partner, which may be a sign of online infidelity.
According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, infidelity is a leading cause of divorce, contributing to 20-40% of divorces in the United States. The journal also reported another study showing that 74% of husbands and 68% of wives would consider having an affair if they knew they would never be caught. These numbers are alarming and underscore the fragile nature of marital fidelity in our society.
Research from the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) indicates that approximately 70% of couples report a significant loss of trust after infidelity, and many experience mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Earthquakes just happen. Tornadoes just happen. Your tongue does not just happen to fall into some other girl’s mouth! ~ Gemma Halliday
Reasons Why Partners Cheat
The reasons why partners cheat tend to vary for men and women. Women often cheat because they feel neglected, lonely, or disconnected from their husbands. They may crave emotional intimacy and eye contact that is lacking in their marriage.
Men, on the other hand, may cheat for similar reasons, but they are more likely to be satisfied with their marriage and want to stay in it despite their infidelity. Women who cheat, however, tend to be unhappy in their marriages, which should be a serious concern for both partners.
While each situation is unique, several common reasons often contribute to why spouses cheat. Here are the top five reasons:
EMOTIONAL DISSATISFACTION
Many people cheat because they feel emotionally neglected or unfulfilled in their current relationship. Emotional dissatisfaction can result from a lack of communication, affection, or support from a partner. When individuals feel disconnected or undervalued, they may seek emotional validation and intimacy elsewhere. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that emotional dissatisfaction and unmet needs are significant drivers of infidelity.
SEXUAL DISSATISFACTION
Sexual dissatisfaction is another important factor. When individuals are dissatisfied with their sex lives-whether due to lack of frequency, variety, or satisfaction-they may seek sexual fulfillment outside of marriage. Research from the Journal of Sex Research highlights that sexual dissatisfaction is a major motivator for infidelity, particularly among men who may be seeking variety or excitement that they feel is missing from their current relationship.
OPPORTUNITY AND TEMPTATION
Sometimes infidelity occurs simply because the opportunity presents itself. Situations such as traveling for work, meeting new people, or having increased social interactions can create opportunities for affairs. The availability of temptation, coupled with a lack of impulse control or commitment, can lead individuals to act on their desires. Studies have shown that the presence of opportunity significantly increases the likelihood of infidelity.
NOVELTY AND EXCITEMENT
The desire for novelty and excitement can drive individuals to cheat. This motivation is often related to a need for new experiences or the thrill of doing something forbidden. According to research by Dr. Helen Fisher, the excitement of a new relationship can be a powerful motivator as individuals seek to rekindle feelings of passion and adventure that may have waned in their current relationship.
PERSONAL INSECURITIES
Personal insecurities and self-esteem issues can also play a role in infidelity. People who feel insecure or inadequate may seek validation and affirmation from outside sources. Cheating may become a way to boost their self-esteem and feel wanted. The Journal of Marriage and Family Therapy reports that personal issues such as low self-esteem or a need for external validation are common among those who engage in infidelity.
Infidelity has always existed, but I feel like it was brushed under the carpet, behind the scenes. Now everyone is at it – and they’ve stopped pretending they’re not ~ Karan Johar
Signs Your Spouse May Be Cheating
Recognizing the signs of a cheating spouse can be crucial for those who suspect their partner may be unfaithful. These signs can serve as warning signals. However, it’s important to always approach the situation with caution and seek evidence or confirmation before jumping to conclusions.
Suspecting that your spouse is cheating can be a distressing experience, and while no single sign is definitive proof of infidelity, a combination of indicators can raise red flags. Here are some signs that your spouse may be cheating:
Sudden Change in Appearance: A noticeable change in grooming habits or wardrobe, such as dressing more fashionably or paying more attention to their physical appearance, could indicate that they’re trying to impress someone else.
Increased Secrecy: If your spouse begins to be more secretive about their phone, computer, or other personal devices, such as changing passwords or always keeping their phone locked, it could indicate that they’re hiding something.
Unexplained Absences: Your spouse may be absent more often without a good explanation, often citing work or other commitments, which could be a cover for spending time with someone else.
Changed Routine: Any significant change in their daily routine, such as coming home later or leaving earlier than usual, could be a sign that they’re making time for someone else.
Change in Work Habits: Suddenly working late, traveling more, or spending unexplained time away from home could be an excuse to spend time with someone else.
Guilty Behavior: Your spouse may start acting overly nice or doing unusual things to make up for their guilt.
Decrease in Communication: If your spouse starts avoiding meaningful conversations or seems disinterested in discussing future plans, it could be a sign that they’re emotionally checking out of the relationship.
Emotional Disengagement: If your spouse becomes emotionally distant, less affectionate, or avoids deep conversations, it may be because they’re emotionally invested elsewhere.
Withdrawal of Affection: A sudden and unexplained withdrawal of affection, such as not saying “I love you” or showing disinterest in spending time together, could signal an emotional disconnect.
Defensive Reactions: If your spouse becomes overly defensive or evasive when you ask simple questions about their day, it could be a sign that they’re hiding something.
Frequent Arguments: Increased and unnecessary arguments could be a way to create distance or justify their actions, or they could be a reflection of guilt.
Changes in Sexual Intimacy: A sudden decrease or increase in sexual activity may be a sign. They may become disinterested in physical intimacy with you or, conversely, start trying new things in bed that they may have learned elsewhere.
Change in Social Media Behavior: A sudden increase in social media activity, such as connecting with new people or being overly protective of their accounts, could indicate a secret relationship.
Suspicious Phone Habits: Frequent texting or phone calls that they hide from you, such as stepping out of the room to take a call, could be a sign of infidelity.
Protectiveness Over Devices: Being overly protective of their phone, tablet, or laptop, such as always keeping it within reach or never letting you use it, could be a red flag.
Unusual Spending: You may notice unexplained or unusual charges on credit cards, such as hotel stays, gifts, or meals at expensive restaurants that could be for someone else.
Unexplained Gifts: Finding gifts you didn’t receive or hearing about gifts you never received could indicate that they are giving or receiving from someone else.
Unfamiliar Smells: Detecting unfamiliar perfumes or colognes on their clothes or body could be a subtle sign that they’ve been close to someone else.
Unusual New Hobbies and Interests: If your spouse suddenly develops new hobbies or odd interests that they’ve never shown interest in before, it could be because they’re trying to connect with someone new.
Other People’s Behavior: If your mutual friends, or spouse’s relatives or coworkers start acting differently or seem uncomfortable around you, they may know something you don’t.
These signs are not definitive proof of infidelity, but they can indicate that something is wrong in the relationship. If you notice several of these signs, it may be worth having an open and honest conversation with your spouse to address your concerns and determine what is really going on.
People are always fascinated by infidelity because, in the end – whether we’ve had direct experience or not – there’s part of you that knows there’s absolutely no more piercing betrayal. People are undone by it ~ Junot Diaz
The Dangers Of Cheating
In a world where sexually transmitted diseases are a real and present danger, cheating can be especially dangerous, not only physically, but also emotionally.
The damage inflicted by infidelity extends beyond the couple involved; it can have a profound effect on their children as well. When I use clairvoyance to observe the effects of cheating within a family setting, it’s clear that the fallout can be devastating, especially for children. Their self-esteem can be severely damaged, and their understanding of love and intimacy can be distorted as they witness the betrayal of trust between their parents.
When someone cheats, they are ultimately cheating themselves in one way or another. The deception, lies, and emotional toll can leave lasting scars, not only on the person being cheated on, but on the cheater as well. Infidelity undermines the foundation of trust and respect on which a marriage is built, and it can be difficult to rebuild those pillars once they have been shattered.
Cheating also carries serious spiritual risks beyond simply hurting someone. Spiritually, it can disrupt our view of ourselves and our connection to others. When we cheat, we break trust and act against our own values, leading to feelings of guilt and shame. Dishonesty creates inner turmoil, making it difficult to find peace and clarity, which can leave us feeling insecure and disconnected from our higher self and our connection to the Divine.
Cheating also has a negative impact on our energetic well-being and balance. From a spiritual perspective, it can have profound effects in terms of energy exchange, attachments, and even theft or vampirism. The energy fields of partners are intertwined. Infidelity distorts these fields, causing confusion, anger and pain. The cheater’s heart chakra, associated with love and compassion, can also become blocked, preventing the free flow of energy.
Cheating often also involves emotional attachments to the new partner while neglecting the existing one. These unhealthy attachments can create toxic energetic cords that drain energy. Depending on the circumstances, cheating can also create complex karmic connections with both partners, leading to potential challenges in future relationships.
Energy is transferred unconsciously in extramarital encounters. It can result in a drain of life force energy from both the cheater and the betrayed partner. Some energy thieves also use infidelity as a form of energy vampirism to prey on someone’s energy. The cheating spouse can also bring home all kinds of unwanted energy residue that can affect the entire family.
Ultimately, cheating can leave us feeling lost and conflicted, hindering our personal growth, our ability to form honest, meaningful relationships and our karmic well-being. While the consequences of cheating can be significant, it’s important to remember that healing and restoration are possible. Practices such as forgiveness, self-love, and energy healing can help repair the damage and restore balance.
For those who find themselves in this situation, seeking guidance and understanding can be the first step toward healing and making informed decisions about the future of their relationships.
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