It’s Called Self-Respect

Energy protection is one of my passions. I take it very seriously. It is vital for our health and mental well-being, so we take the time to do things that will help promote our energy, health, happiness and mental clarity, right? Why then do we still find our energies being drained sometimes? Often times we don’t even realize who, or what is causing this drainage.

My grandma’s fingers are so badly crippled that she cannot text, so she asked me to do her a favor and just send a message to someone on her behalf. I knew in my heart that if I did send this for her, it would be an opportunity for the receiver to throw negativity my way, or rather attempt to. So, I kept putting it off, but she kept begging me.

Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment ~ Brené Brown

Eventually I caved in and sent what she wanted me to say. I prefaced the message with an apology for messaging, but Granny can’t text and I was merely being the messenger. I could almost hear the drum roll minutes before the return message from this person came in. As I had expected, it was riddled with negative energy and angry words, mainly accusing me of trying to make him feel bad. I was left feeling bewildered and confused, and wondering how he arrived at this ridiculous conclusion?

We live and learn, as they say. How could I have prevented this? I usually try to maintain healthy boundaries, but sometimes it is really difficult, as there comes times like this when we are asked to do things that forces us to share space, or connect with unpleasant individuals. Although we know from past behavior what the outcome will most likely be, we in a sense continue to touch that flame sometimes for the sake of other people’s comfort or happiness.

I asked Spirit what is going on with this family member, that he feels the need to be so unkind and in many respects verbally abusive towards me? The answers I received was that this person is dealing with internal conflict and an inflated ego, as well as too much work and not enough sleep, and a lack of happiness and contentment, which leads to uncontrolled emotional outbursts and speaking impulsively.

Spirit further advised me to continue giving this person grace and love, but keep healthy boundaries. I needed to remember that when people are unkind it has to do with repressed emotions, most often deep-seated hurt or pain. This was just another example of someone who feels they have not lived up to others expectations, and feels a lack of love and approval from others.

Spirit reminded me that when someone treats you with disrespect it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is something internally going on with them. Period. Let it be and move on. Once the healthy boundaries are back in place, stick to them. It’s called self-respect.

Much of the time, the things we feel guilty about are not our issues. Another person behaves inappropriately or in some way violates our boundaries. We challenge the behavior, and the person gets angry and defensive. Then we feel guilty ~ Melody Beattie

If you know you have to share space, either physically or energetically, with an individual you know is hyper-critical, judgmental, negative, or whatever the case may be, simply visualize a circle of white light around you, and just say your prayers of protection, chant your mantra, or do your favorite grounding meditation or shielding visualization. Do whatever works best for you. This way you will not have to absorb their toxic energy. When you do this the energy bounces off of you and ultimately goes back to the sender, because energy never goes away it simply goes in a different direction.

Bottom-line, when we accidentally get burned, we should learn not to touch that flame again. I should not have sent the text, no matter how good my intentions were. I was well aware of the probable outcome, but I gave the person the benefit of the doubt. Lesson learned. This is why we must always stick to maintaining those healthy boundaries.

Focus your time and energy on those who are kind, because those who are kind, are those who matter. Those who are unkind, aren’t worth your loving time and energy.