Empath Recovery From A Relationship With A Narcissist

I wrote a previous article about the phenomenon of empaths having a dangerous attraction to, and engaging in toxic relationships with narcissists. I have since been asked how the empath can more easily break away from such a relationship with a narcissist.

I am sorry to have to say, in my experience there is no surefire way to effortlessly sever such a connection. At least none that I am aware of. The connection between these two seemingly opposing forces is indeed a complicated one, since each of them serves the other with complimentary personality traits. Ending the connection is usually traumatic and detrimental to the empath.

Empaths seem to dive head first into ‘soul sucking.’ They are instinctively drawn to emotionally and mentally toxic relationships with narcissistic partners. It is the nature of the empath to try and heal those who are emotionally, mentally and even physically wounded. And too often the empath will commit almost unconditionally to this task.

The narcissist, however, lacks the ability to empathize with others and acts on their own selfish feelings of grandiosity and self-inflated ego. They serve only themselves and their need for attention and adoration. Their loyalty only lies where it is most beneficial to them. They are therefore capable of tremendous levels of deceit and manipulation. They will abuse the empath both mentally or physically to gain control over nearly every aspect of the empath’s life. They make the entire relationship solely about themselves and their needs.

It may not feel good to lose someone we love, but we have to recognize that we must first love ourselves wholly and completely, and that requires having great compassion and unconditional love for ourselves, even the parts that make us uncomfortable ~ Elizabeth Hayes

This scenario is disastrous for empaths, who devote their undying love and loyalty to someone who isn’t even capable of love, and will never feel or understand their pain on any level.

In order for the empath to even begin to recover and regain their emotional freedom, they must sever all ties with the narcissist. Narcissists are master manipulators, and they know just exactly what to say to trigger the empath’s deepest emotions and feelings of guilt. They use these emotions to lure the empath back into their world of mental and emotional abuse, and mind control. But control and manipulation is not love.

I think the hardest part for the empath is understanding that they have been manipulated. It is painful to accept that the relationship wasn’t the ‘once in a lifetime love story’ they thought it would be.

Empaths must completely break away from the narcissist in order to recover their self-worth and learn to love themselves again. The empath must set boundaries and realize that not everyone is deserving of their love and devotion. Some people simply can’t be healed.