The Misguided Fear Of ‘Missing Out’

FOMO. The “fear of missing out.” The term is typically used when young people feel envious or sad because they haven’t been invited or can’t go to an event or outing that their friends are attending. For others it is a matter of feeling driven to attend absolutely everything, including the opening of an envelope.

This mindset is spiritually misguided. Firstly, if you think carefully about what you are worried about missing out on, you usually find that you are not missing out on that much after all.

Secondly, there are much more valuable things to invest your time and energy in, especially for a young person. For example, if we don’t invest in improving our well-being in body, mind and spirit early in life, we will miss out on many blessings of joy, fulfilment and abundance later in life.

Instead of trying to attend every event or doing everything and the kitchen sink to keep up with the Joneses, it makes much more sense to create a foundation of joy, inner peace and abundance for ourselves. It is a wellspring that will never run dry. This is what one should really be ‘afraid’ of missing out on.

The first step is usually to become more comfortable with spending quality time alone, rather than trying to be everywhere, doing everything with everyone. By maximising your solo ‘me’ time, you are better able to practice self-care and take time out to reflect and meditate on what’s really important in life. Wise sages of old understood the value of this kind of solitude and contemplation.

I walk my own path, guided by my own principles. Society’s rules don’t define me ~ John Wick

Also, once you decide to take better care of yourself and invest more in your own growth, you’re likely to add at least a decade or two to your life expectancy. And when you are older and wiser and know better how to set appropriate boundaries, you will no longer fear “missing out.”

When we choose superficial activities and random pursuits that don’t create a deep sense of inner connection and fulfilment, we drown our mind and spirit in emptiness. In chasing FOMO, we are actually missing out on the greatest meaning life has to offer.

An excellent behavioural model to consider is the so-called sigma personality. The term “sigma personality” was first coined by a blogger named Vox Day, a pseudonym for Theodore Beale, an American writer. The concept has since been popularized online. It refers to someone who is empowered, confident, ambitious and assertive, similar to the better known “alpha personality,” but who is also highly independent and enjoys spending time alone.

A sigma woman, for example, prioritises her journey of self-improvement. She is naturally comfortable putting friends and family aside for a time while she pursues her highest personal and spiritual potential. Alpha women on the other hand do more of the active pursuit of life’s goals. These women often have a lot of fire energy in their charts. Gamma women love to organise, plan and keep everyone informed without stepping on anyone’s toes.

Not everyone is naturally a sigma. But we can all learn from the sigma’s desire for solitude, reflection and personal ‘hibernation’ while being forged in a crucible of self-improvement and personal growth to eventually emerge as an empowered and enlightened phoenix from the ashes.

I am not a difficult woman at all. I am simply a strong woman and know my worth ~ Angelina Jolie

We are not missing out on anything important by choosing a more spiritual path in life. Consider what you’ll gain in the long run by making some superficial social sacrifices now, rather than what you’ll “miss out on” in the short term.

As you cultivate a greater depth of spiritual awareness and invest more time in your personal growth and self-care, it will become a torch that is always seen by others and will open many doors in the future. People you know and people you’ve yet to meet will feel your current of uniqueness and be inspired and drawn to you.

Life is indeed short and precious, and it becomes even shorter and less precious if we succumb to the silliness of FOMO. Make a promise to yourself today: no more FOMO.