Messages From Spirit About Romance

Many of the readings I do for clients are about relationships and this is particularly high priority for many around Valentine’s Day. In this article I would like to discuss common messages that Spirit provides about intimate relationships and love life. These common messages tend to come out in relationship readings, because Spirit is dedicated to the growth and evolution of every individual and every relationship.

These messages are in no particular order, and are by no means a concise list of spiritual recommendations concerning intimate relationships. I truly believe that every person who seeks fulfillment in their love life can benefit from these strategies, as I too have benefited from these messages that have been channeled by Spirit for my clients.

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever ~ Nicholas Sparks

1. Learn and embody the meaning of love

We all want to be loved. It is one of the key motivators in our lives. This being said, I find it interesting that even though most of us understand the underlining principles of love we can often get into patterns that are actually in opposition to what love really is.

So what is love? I have been doing this type of work for over ten years, and in my experience my own personal definition of love and how to express love has changed. I would ask you to take a deep and honest look at what you expect or desire in your deepest emotional connection. Most people will answer: “I want to find unconditional acceptance.” In other words, we are looking for someone to accept us and support us no matter what.

I believe that we live in a Universe with intrinsic laws. As far as I am concerned, the Law of Attraction is just as valid as the Law of Gravity. I base this belief on personal experience. I find that when I am aligned in a certain way I normally attract things into my experience that confirm and support my inner alignment.

So, how do we align ourselves with the vibration of love?  The most important way to do this is to love ourselves. If we are unable to unconditionally accept ourselves, including what we deem as flaws, how can we expect anyone else to accept who we are? Being able to accept and support ourselves is the first step in finding true love. This is the most integral step in being able to love another with that same capacity. We cannot give away what we do not possess.

2. Know what you want, and align yourself with that

Before you can achieve something you must first know what you want. It is important that we do not take the same approach to our intimate relationships as we do in perusing a mall. It is okay to window shop, but I would recommend is to use your window shopping experiences to assist you in figuring out what you really want in your intimate relationships.

Most people can attest to the fact that few things in this world happen by chance. However, related to love life, often times people will assume that a chance encounter will result in a deeply fulfilling relationship.

It is also important to understand that the Universe often gives us the circumstances that will assist us in figuring out what we really want in life. If you are in a relationship that is unfulfilling, or you have had relationships in the past that were unfulfilling, we have been given the opportunity to clarify what your intentions are associated with relationships.

A strategy that has worked well for me in the past is making a list. While I was single I made a list of attributes that I wanted my partner to have. When I finally started dating these attributes were made manifest almost completely based off of my list of desired attributes.

I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt ~ Maya Angelou

3. Trust the Source

Another key thing to understand is that our innate desires come from the same Source that put us on this planet. This means that it is the Source and only the Source that can bring fulfillment of these desires. We cannot expect another person to meet our needs. However, I always find it interesting that when we surrender our desires to Source or God, these need are met through other people.

Relationships tend to suffer when we project our needs and the fulfillment of our needs onto another person. The reality is that it is unlikely that one human being can fulfill all of our needs, however the source of all human beings certainly has the power to bring fulfillment of our needs.

Another thing that is important is to understand that our desires are good. If we believe that God is good, and we understand that the Source of our desires is God, then we must also believe that the desires within us are also good. They can certainly be out of alignment, but the only way they can be out of alignment is when our desires are not surrendered to our Source for fulfillment.

This does not mean consigning our desires to lack, but rather to fulfillment. Surrendering our desires to God is saying, I have these desires, and only you can fulfill them. This is faith.  Knowing that our inner desires are good, knowing that they are there to be met, and knowing that the only thing that can meet those desires are the Source of those desires.

4. You can only change yourself

So many people enter into a relationship with a belief that the other person will change.  This is a completely false assumption, and one of the main reasons why it is important to have a clear intention about the future. We are unable to change others, but we can change ourselves. If you are in a situation that is unfulfilling we are always able to change ourselves and thus change the relational dynamic.

Sometimes the most loving thing that we can do in a situation is to create a boundary. We must say to some individuals: “I love you, and I forgive you, but I must let you go.” Love is constant, meaning that love doesn’t change. However if someone is in a situation that is not healthy for themselves or the other individual, it is important to understand that the dynamic of the relationship can and should change to confirm love. It is not loving to stay in abusive situations.

Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision ~ Erich Fromm

5. Don’t live in fantasy

This is a huge one for individuals, especially for new relationships. In any relationship it is important not to allow our emotions to exceed the actual circumstances of the relationship. There is certainly value in visualization practices related to what we desire, and I use these myself.  However it is also important to understand that you can create by building a castle in the sky, but you can’t live there until the castle manifests itself into reality.

It is important to be where you are in a relationship, and to make sure you do not exceed the actual expression of the relationship emotionally. Fantasy often quickly becomes fear when the circumstances do not line up with the fantasy. When I work with clients on the manifestation principles, I recommend five minutes of visualization practice per day, and then take time to align ourselves with gratitude for what is actually occurring in our situation. This can keep us from entering into a fear state of consciousness, and allow us to create the highest good for everyone involved in the situation.

It is important to understand that we are all still growing and evolving. I by no means embody these ideas in a complete way all the time, however I have noticed that as I follow these spiritual guidelines I find more fulfillment in my own intimate relationship. My prayer is that each person reading this article will find the strategies that work best for their own journey on this planet.