Being A Cusp Capricorn

I was born amid a snowstorm, in an age where there were no cell phones, nor color television. In fact, we only had a handful of channels on television, if you were lucky enough to own one. In those days vehicles were V-8 engines and did not have seatbelts. Life was so simple.

In the Summer we played outside, and in the Winter we played outside. If we played a game on a rainy day, it was a board game such as monopoly or checkers, or we colored and dreamed of what we wanted to be when we grew up. Most boys wanted to be a policeman, or a fireman. Those were not even an option if you were a girl. You could be a wife, a mother, a bookkeeper, a secretary or a teller at a bank. Options for women were very limited.

I don’t know how many times I was told I could not do something with the explanation, “Because you’re a girl!”  This broke my spirit for a long, long time. I wanted to play baseball and hockey. “No, sorry, that’s for boys only. You can draw or paint, or cook.”

The cardinal quality of Capricorn is seen in their ambition and their willingness to embark on new projects. These people are independent and individualistic, within the world but detached from it ~ Aman Sharma

So, I went to secretarial school as a teenager and then immediately moved to the city to be ‘just a secretary.’ A girl of 17 moving out on her own was unheard of at the time, but I was determined and extremely stubborn. Yeah, I was a rebel.

I had a dream, and I did not understand why only boys were allowed to achieve their dreams, while girls were always to be the underdog. I just would not accept it.

After all, I was practical, ambitious, disciplined, smart, and sometimes patient. I could do whatever I wanted to do. But on the other side of this, my negative demons would come out and hold me back from achieving what was my highest good at that time.

Along with my stubbornness and ambition, I also grew up very shy, insecure, self-conscious, never feeling like I belonged anywhere. And I was extremely moody at times. My feelings were hurt time and time again, and I never found that feeling of self-acceptance or love that I was so desperately looking for.

I was conflicted about who I was for many years. I attribute some of this confusion to the positive and the negative side of being born a Cusp Capricorn, which were always in conflict with each other. At the time I never understood why I suffered so much in life, which is another long, long story, but through the years I have honed in on the traits that I was born with in order to become more enlightened and to use the positive and the negative of my cusp status for my highest good.

This was not easy. Whenever I started to feel good about life, the insecure little girl would come to the surface. When others were doing better than me, the never-good-enough little girl came out.

This is the most mysterious of all cusps. People born between these dates tend to have a tough time balancing two very different personalities. They can be quiet yet outgoing and conventional yet innovative. It all depends on their mood and surroundings ~ Brandon Austin

Eventually I learned that when the negativity comes to the surface, in my thoughts or words, I have to sit, breathe and go inside of myself and find the truly strong individual that is the truth of who I am. I am no different than others. I bleed when I’m cut and I cry when I hurt. I laugh at a good joke and I love nature and all that’s good in the world.

For anyone that is born on a cusp of two signs, know that you have traits of both signs and some will be negative, some positive. Try to focus on the positive as you move through life and you will be more productive. Sometimes these positives and negatives will be in conflict with each other – choose to be the positive side of your sign or the negative side can and will drag you to a dark place that takes a long time to climb out of.

I work on myself every day and I am now living many of the dreams I had as a little girl. I am not content to be just a bookkeeper, secretary, housewife or mother, even though I ended up being all these things, and more. I am always attracted to those that are opposite personality of me and I’m okay with that. I don’t try to change them, I simply try to understand who they are and where they are coming from in their life. I am content with me and I am proud to be a Cusp Capricorn.