Maintaining The Connection

We may not always know or understand why we have connections with particular people, and even after they have passed it still seems vital that we keep those connections in place. Also, how we stay in touch may not be the same for each of us, it just is important that we do.

Many years ago, I had a lovely older friend named Pat, who came from a very affluent, upscale family and was certainly refined in every manner. It was noticeable in the way she dressed and spoke. Her whole demeanor exuded the firm self-confidence of someone who has been used to having the finer things in life.

Somewhere along the road, Pat fell in love with and married a rough-and-tough, stevedore-type fellow named Bill. By all appearances they certainly did not seem like a compatible couple, however, they stayed happily married, produced three offspring and had over 30 happy years together.

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future ~ Alex Haley

Sadly, one morning Bill does not wake up. He had suffered a massive coronary during the night and passed away in his sleep. Of course, Pat was completely devastated, but still managed to take care of what had to be done. She buried her beloved Bill and tried to get on with the rest of her life.

It was essential for Pat that she maintained that connection she had with her husband, and each Sunday for the remaining of her days on earth, she would take the bus to the cemetery where Bill was buried and shared with him the mundane details of her daily life.

For Pat their continued connection helped sustain her and kept her going until she left this earthly plane to be finally reunited with one of the most important people in her life.

When I was five years old my brother drowned at the tender age of 12. It was a traumatic event for our family and we could never seem to let go of that spiritual connection he had with us. We had been raised in a religious background and it was a requirement that our brother be buried in a sanctioned graveyard. This was adhered to, however, my brother did not get to have a gravestone. We had also come from a very impoverished  background and it was certainly out of the question to come up with any amount of money to purchase a headstone. Somehow that did not seem to affect us deeply. To this day I do not believe that any of us, and we are an extremely large clan, have ever been to the spot where he had been laid to rest.

For us it was a different kind of connection. He planted himself in our hearts and minds, and remains there to this day. It had always felt as if he was still with us in human form and that particular connection has helped carry us through our own calamities and pitfalls. It was if we knew he would help see us through all our own personal trials and tribulations. Even now that connection is still there.

Your family love must be cultivated. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned to keep any relationship flourishing and growing ~ Jim Rohn

When my own daughter passed away, there was never a thought that I could place her in the ground. Somehow it seemed that would not suit her. She loved the water and some of her greatest moments of solace was when she was at the ocean, so that is where her ashes were scattered.

We had a deep relationship when she was here, interacting in a very powerful way in all aspects of our daily lives. It seems relatively easy to maintain this connection with her. I am also fortunate enough to see her periodically and I speak to her all the time. I do not always know if she is able to hear me, but that is not of great significance to me. I only know that we will have this connection until I pass and it is my fondest desire to see her again when I am safely on the Other Side.

Are connections important to all of us? Absolutely not, but to those of us who feel the necessity of maintaining those connections, I say find a method that suits you regardless of what anyone else may think. It is a blessing of comfort we have available to us until our own particular time comes.