Live. Laugh. Love.

Do you feel unfulfilled? Stuck in a rut? Try to live, laugh and love a little more… for these are the three L’s of fulfillment.

Live

Firstly, to attain lasting fulfillment it is necessary to actually live your life. This is especially important for anyone who feels stuck in their life or circumstances. I sometimes come across clients that are so bound by their routines that they are unwilling to see a different way.

To have a fulfilling life we must be willing to engage with life in a dynamic way. Take a proactive approach and shedding some of your routines. There are often very simple ways to engage in shifting stagnant routines. It can be as simple as taking the long way to or from work and appreciating the scenery of the new way.

You have everything you need for complete peace and total happiness right now ~ Wayne W. Dyer

Another way to engage with life in a dynamic way is to begin to detox your life. Let go of any negative junk that you are holding onto. Go through your closets and donate the clothes and shoes that you no longer wear. Declutter your house of items that you no longer use. This can free up space and allow new things to come into your experience. It is also good to clean up your food and eat more nourishing foods and beverages.

Finally, let go of past experiences that are hindering you from moving forward. There is no ‘good’ resentment in life, and there is really no justified resentment either. When we hold onto the past we are stuck, and we are unable to create the experiences we want to have. So, forgive yourself and others, and in doing so you will be free to actually live in a more dynamic way.

Laugh

People can often take life far too seriously. The ‘laugh’ component of reaching fulfillment is to remind yourself to be more joyful, and recognize that whatever adversity you may be experiencing is temporary. These so-called ‘problems’ that we experience in life are often intensified by our inability to lighten our own mood. This does not mean you have to laugh at calamity, but rather find things in your circumstances to be joyful about. If you feel as though you don’t have any, then go create joyful experiences for yourself. The Universe responds quickly to joy, and as we allow ourselves to be more joyful we will begin to see more joyful experiences manifest in our situation.

Some practical steps to living a joyful life are to watch joy-filled movies, or read a book that brings you joy and makes you smile. What we read and watch are very important, we take that energy into our consciousness. Adding things can certainly create joy momentum, but also determine what you can subtract that is keeping you from joy.

Are you engaging in negative banter on social media, or with friends and family? Do you watch news programs that focus on negative things taking place on the planet? It is my conviction that there is more good on the planet than bad, but unless you have a very filtered social media page or neglect the large news outlets you would never know this to be true.

You are the only real obstacle in your path to a fulfilling life ~ Les Brown

It is our decision what kind of world we live in, and we have a choice on a very personal level if we are going to live in a friendly or unfriendly universe. Einstein pointed out that we have a choice here, and our choice is going to determine how we spend our resources. This is true on both a personal level and on a social level. However, it is important to remember that from a social perspective, society is determined by the consciousness of the individuals that engage in the society.

Love

Love in our culture is often a perverted concept, and to life a dynamic and fulfilling life it is important to reconcile ourselves to the truth of love. I do not mean perverted in a sexual way, or anything like that, but rather in a way that humans are often taught that love is something that exists outside of themselves.

It is not just that we look towards our relationships to find a sense of fulfillment, we often try to manipulate circumstances to find love. Our beliefs about love are such that love is lacking rather than abundant in our universe. We look for that one relationship that is loving, but for many people that relationship becomes illusive. What I mean by the perversion of love is the illusion that love is limited and exists outside of ourselves. It does not.

Love is something that exists within each of us first, and then grows as we give it away. If you look at little babies it is clear that they love every part of themselves, and we were all once little babies. They expressed their feelings without filters, and they knew they deserved to receive what they needed. This does not mean we should all become egotists, but it does point out a fundamental reality – love exists within.

Also, little babies are quite lovable, but why? If you look at the beauty standards of the day, babies do not hold to strict diet regiments. They cannot hold a job. They don’t make money or have wealth. They actually don’t care about those things and their sense of fulfillment is within. So, why are they so lovable? I am convinced that babies are so lovable because they still remember how to love themselves.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet ~ James Oppenheim

From my experiences of life, and my experiences with clients, it is clear that love is something that must start within us for us to be fulfilled. Making external goals to find love, such as a boyfriend, husband, wife, or children, does not provide the great sense of fulfillment that loving ourselves provides.  However, we must find love within before we will ever be truly fulfilled in any relationship.

One exercise that I recommend you start with is to determine the ways in which you are currently not loving yourself. To love yourself you must release yourself from judgment or criticism.  True love is about universal acceptance, so any judgmental thoughts against yourself are actions against love. So, replace thoughts of not being good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, with thoughts that support your goodness, intelligence, and inner beauty. Start saying to yourself in the mirror, “I love you.”  This may be difficult at first, but this single step is the first step to experiencing fulfillment in the area of love.