The Soul Gold Of Dysfunctional Relationships
When I was younger, I actually searched for my birth certificate, just to see if I really was a member of my family! I’ve witnessed some close-knit and very loving families among my friends and acquaintances, which I admire and applaud. But not everyone is that fortunate. It seems some of us are thrown together in families we cannot help but wonder where we all fit in. For many of us our family and romantic relationships are complicated.
We typically grow up seeing perfect families on television and in the movies. We also observe them during summer vacations and winter holidays. But I have always preferred the exceptions to the rule, the alternative families, the dysfunctional, weird and wonderful family stories, because they portray real life with humor.
Growing up my family did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time. In our family there was much avoidance, secrets, Catholic school and the constant overhanging threat of being ‘sent to a nunnery.’ Role-models for how to build healthy, constructive I did not have. So, I had to figure it out on my own, making many mistakes along the way.
I have even attributed my sense of not belonging in my family to the planets: my Aquarius Sun sign and Sagittarius Rising sign. I assumed my tendency to be a bit of a star child, moving to the strange music in my own head, just needed its own space? Upon a closer look, as the years went by, my father and I had many similar traits, with some of my mother’s mixed in on the spectrum.
I was constantly searching for that next subject to study and different ways to escape through my imagination. I also closed down when people came too close and moved along as quickly as possible.
Signs, Messages And Synchronicities From Spirit
There has always been skepticism when it comes to psychic phenomena, mediumship and spiritual experiences. However, one instance where I have often seen this kind of skepticism dissolve is at wakes, funerals, or when people gather for the celebration of someone’s life after a passing.
I have attended several such gatherings with skeptical relatives, friends and strangers, listening to the stories of their loved ones and the signs and messages they have received from the dearly departed. I have also noticed that once someone in the group had the courage to tell their story, others feel more comfortable to start sharing theirs.
I have heard many, many stories over the years of angels feathers, symbolic numbers, butterflies, visitation dreams, mysterious phone calls, electrical disturbances, smells, sounds, and apparitions. And when people talk about the signs, messages and synchronicities, I have observed a softening in their voice, face and body. Our body language changes when we discuss these experiences.
Death and bereavement tends to change people’s outlook, even if it is only temporary with the more cynical among us. A loved one’s passing connects us all and affects us all. And like our ancestors before us, we will all go through that door someday. People experience an opening of the heart and mind at these times and are more willing to share their personal experiences.
Most of us have our own unique stories of spirit communication and paranormal visitations. I believe it is vital that these stories be shared, so others may feel more comfortable in sorting through the signs, messages and synchronicities they have received. Instead, those who grieve are often made to feel these things are superstitious or unnatural, and encouraged to disregard their experiences.
We Don’t Find Love, It Finds Us
I simply started to believe in myself a little more every day, love myself, trust my intuition, recognize my goodness and that I am enough. That is how love found me. This is how I found my life partner, friend, lover and husband.
Over the years, I have seen the same with family, friends and clients. I see how love finds them. We don’t find love, it finds us.
For me finding that special person seemed elusive and impossible for a long time. We all have our stories of failed past relationships, love wounds and broken hearts. My mother would say, “The third time is the charm.” She was the eternal optimist, I thought.
Yes, there were interested, available guys, but not one I felt I could truly be myself with. Someone who shared my interests and would accept and love me for who I was.
It wasn’t until I decided to spread my wings and start pursuing my interests and the things close to my heart, that my situation changed for the better. It introduced me to many like-minded people who were in alignment with the things I loved.
Increasingly, an event, gathering, lecture, seminar, weekend retreat, charity fundraiser or social opportunity would pop up and find me, and I would always say yes! This way I met many wonderful and diverse people who shared my values and interests.
Interestingly, the wonderful man I eventually met and fell in love was not at any of those social events. He turned out to be a colleague from my place of work. You see, I could have met him anywhere in many ways, but not until I started to love myself and worked through my own insecurities. I first had to claim my own space in life and create the lifestyle I wanted.
In the process of learning to love myself more, celebrating my uniqueness, pursuing my interests and following the intuitive breadcrumbs on my spiritual path, I was allowing the light inside of me to shine brighter in an authentic way.
Celebrate The Seasons Of Your Life
Ecclesiastes wrote, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” When things feel out of balance in one or more aspects of your life, be it in your relationship, career, finances, health, or spirituality, it may be time to look at the season you are currently experiencing.
The question you need to ask is: what do you need for this season of your life? For this you need to quiet your mind and listen to your inner guidance to get the answers.
We are often so busy with our schedules and responsibilities and that we have little time to look at what season of life we are in. Are we stuck in a season? Are we making progress or not? Is it time to maybe move to a new season in our life?
No matter where we find ourselves, there are usually adjustments to be made. Rather than staying on autopilot, we must take stock and identify the season and the areas in our life that need attention. What needs doing, or not doing? Is it maybe time for an important life transition? Is it a time to plant seeds, nurture what has been planted, branch out in different directions, reap the harvest, or time to rest before the next cycle begins?
Various cultures and spiritual traditions all used to observe certain rituals that mark the seasons of life and the rites of passage. These days we might eengage in some of these practices, but for the most part we are simply pulled along by the next thing expected of us.
We may think to not worry about any of it now, because there will be time for it later, but often it just falls into the cracks. It’s up to us to find where we are in our current season and think about the next rite of passage we need to observe or celebrate.
When we move into a new season of life in a particular area, we must celebrate where we have been, before moving on. We must put in place a small ritual to mark this on our path. It can be simple as a prayer of thanks or act of gratitude. Write an entry into our journal or find a piece of art and keeping it nearby to encourage you.
February 2021 Energies And Insights
There’s a lot going on this month. A great stellium of seven planets is currently clustering in the sign of Aquarius, which predicts a profoundly challenging and potentially restless time, especially for those of us born in the fixed signs, namely Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius.
A stellium occurs when three or more planets cluster together in a single zodiac sign to create an unusual and intense energy blend. The effect of this unusual stellium may be profound for all of us in some way or another, so staying calm, centered and grounded will be absolutely essential this month.
Consider spiritual practices or disciplines that you wish to engage in during this time. They will assist you in all areas of your life. Sometimes we feel there are not enough hours in the day, but when we are more aligned spiritually and have good discipline, our day goes much easier.
Mercury Retrograde
Additionally, Mercury is in retrograde this month in Aquarius, inviting us to look at the bigger picture of our life. Uranus is one of the rulers of Aquarius, so we might experience some upsets in communications, technologies as well as in society.
Both Aquarius and Mercury are air signs, so it will be wise this month to remain flexible, patient and understanding in all communication, or miscommunication, including missed texts and phone calls. Mercury goes direct on February 20th, with a small shadow period afterwards.
What You Can Expect From The Year 2021
Next year, the world’s energy imprint will be a 5, according to Numerology. During a 5 year, one can typically expect lots of activity, and after all the turmoil of 2020, we will now have even more catching up to do than usual. The energy of the 5 is fast moving and encourages us to meet life’s challenges with renewed vigor.
Some aspects of life will gradually begin to return to normal in the new year, but bear in mind that some things have changed and shifted more permanently, pulling us forward to embrace new innovations and alternatives for 2021. It calls us to find new ways to do old things.
If you find it challenging to keep up, ask for help. There is always someone helpful you can reach out to, who can show you the nuances and tips. It reminds me of my first encounter with video back in the day. My son had to show me the tricks and secrets of Nintendo’s Mario game, which of course he loved sharing! Who says you cannot teach an old dog new tricks?
The keywords for next year’s 5 energy are freedom, change, fun, travel and adventure. And we could certainly use some of all that! The energy of the 5 makes it especially a great year to travel. Finally, we will be able to do so, as the year progresses. So, start planning that dream vacation now, and look into one or more of those exotic destinations you have had on your bucket list for so many years.
But beware, in a 5 year we can also feel that our energy is scattered, so focusing on what’s most important is key. There will be many shiny objects to distract us in a 5 year, so if we are not mindful, we may find that nothing of importance will get done.
With all the energy of novelty and excitement we may encounter in 2021, we will have to pace ourselves, stay grounded and maintain our self-care practices. If you will be taking risks, first take a closer look, because not all that glitters is gold.
Slow Down, Relax And Let Go
A friend recently mentioned that when she finally made up her mind to just allow herself to relax, let go and feel safe in the presence of spirit, she felt her shoulders spontaneously lowering from her ears back down to their natural position. “It was such a surprising relief,” she sighed.
Indeed, when we slow down and relax, we can let go of the worries and fears that are beyond our control. When we give ourselves permission to just let go, it allows deep healing to begin, and to be more in-tune and connected to our body and its needs.
There is no need for us to control everything. It serves our highest good to release the past, the limitations, the fears and anxieties, the unforeseen circumstances, and the constant criticisms and judgements. Instead, we must allow the Universe to work on our behalf.
As a child I was an obsessive worrier, over-achiever and a classic Type A personality – harder on myself than anyone else could ever be! I even refused to use an eraser doing my school work. My mother would say that’s why they put erasers at the end of pencils, to easily correct our mistakes. But I felt I had to do everything perfectly the first time. It was exhausting.
Mom also would say that most of the things we worry about never actually happen. My mother had many such words of wisdom, which my daughter today calls grandma’s “nanaisms.” Well, Nana was spot on! We tend to waste so much precious time and energy on worrying about absolutely nothing.
Lost time and wasted energy, however, is not all we sacrifice to our fears and worries. When we constantly anticipate problems or disasters in every life situation, we create unnecessary stress and anxiety, which can also lead to illness, relationship problems, depression, and even premature aging and death.
