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Relationship Change Begins With You

Click Here now for a FREE Psychic Reading at PsychicAccess.comA psychic reading is always based on the energy you are creating in the moment. This is why seasoned readers will often tell you to give it some time and to let things unfold I its own way. We tend to be impatient, but like it or not, we live in a physical world where metaphysical energy takes time to settle into our density.

We’ve all been there. You get a reading and it turns out to not be what you had hoped to hear. You wanted things to be different by now, or you wanted the universe to hurry up and get on with changing your life for the better.

Well it’s always good to desire a better life, but we need to shift the energy ourselves. Even when it involves another person, it is our energy that needs to change first before anything else can manifest or shift into place.

Our energy vibration is created by what we think, believe and choose to feel about a situation. We create with our energy whatever we choose to focus on.

Changing our energy regarding a person or situation does not mean it will change the other person or situation, but it will change our experience of the other person or situation. It will also change the kind of people and situations we attract into our life in the future.

Think of the glass ‘half-full or half-empty’ analogy. If the glass is half-full you still have possibilities and options left. If it is half empty you are feeling like you’ve lost something, or your options are reduced.

Relationships are the perfect example. Be it friendship or romance, our lives are built on relationships. So often we aren’t happy with what is going on in a relationship and we get a psychic reading that confirms what we are already thinking and feeling.

Our first thought might be, that everything would be fine if the other person in the relationship makes certain changes. Now that may be partially true, but you could be waiting a very long, long time for them to change! You are the one suffering in the interim.

It takes spiritual and emotional maturity to accept that the only control you really have in life and your relationships is over yourself. Yes, that may seem daunting, or even unfair. But once you carefully think about it, you realize that it is you who wants things to be different.

If you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask no one to be different so that you can feel good. You would free yourself of all of that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world, or control your mate, or control your child. You are the only one who creates your reality ~ Abraham-Hicks

You are the one suffering due to a dysfunctional or unfulfilling relationship. You are the one who wants to feel better. And if I want to feel better, you have to take the necessary steps to change the situation on your end. It begins with you and your own energy.

Next time you get a reading that confirms what you already know, and there appears to be no change or improvement coming your way, remind yourself that you always have a choice. You can choose to do something about changing your life and relationships, or not.

When you choose to do something, you have many options. For example, in a relationship you can choose to leave the person all together, or you can continue to wait around to see if they change.

Over the years, I have done many readings where I see the client finally coming to their senses many years down the road. Just because something has the potential to be good, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best path for you, or that it will manifest. Energy is always changing. Sometimes you need to make the choice to leave.

In my experience, many people think this is the hardest choice to make, but I see it as the easiest. It’s clear. It’s to the point. And it is a definite change in your own energy. It may be a daunting step to take, but it almost always provides the most clarity, and it certainly does open the flow of energy.

Often, when we make the decision to leave, the energy shifts dramatically and opens the relationship back up to its fullest potential. Other times I liberates us to be set free of a situation that was no longer serving either party. This has been the case for me many times, both romantically and platonically.

After you’ve done a thing the same way for two years, look it over carefully. After five years, look at it with suspicion. And after ten years, throw it away and start all over ~ Alfred Edward Perlman

Another powerful change we can make is how we choose to see the situation. One thing we can choose to do is see the situation differently and look for evidence to support that.

Most people don’t like this idea, because we’ve been trained to always justify our need to be right and get closure about things. But often those things are so elusive, they just keep us chasing our tails.

We often get what we expect from people and we often base our expectations on our beliefs. The problem is, most of us don’t really know what we subconsciously believe, but that’s a whole different blog post.

One core subconscious belief might be that ‘love equals pain.’ So, we keep ending up in relationships with that kind of energy. Start to see the relationship differently and you can eventually rewrite this false subconscious belief, creating a new energy for the next relationship.

For example, when a relationship ends because the other person cheated, we can view it from a very negative view point that takes us down a nasty emotional spiral, where we will never get answers or the closure we desire. We can only focus on the negative aspects of our former partner and their actions.

Or we can choose to see the love that did exist there, be grateful for what we have learned from the experience and thank that person for removing themselves from our life, because they weren’t right for us long term.

Clients often say things like, “But they did this or that to me!”. And I reply, “Yes they did, but how is it helping you to focus on that? They also did all these other things that were good, that you now choose to ignore.”

The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. You no longer dwell on what went wrong or focus on whom you are going to blame. You don’t waste time building roadblocks to your success. Instead, you are set free and can now focus on succeeding ~ Lorii Myers

We do have the ungrateful tendency to ignore the many good things and blessings in our lives, and focus exclusively on the one bad thing. That never serves us. So, change how you see the situation, instead of viewing what was taken from you. See what was given to you, and not just what was lost.

And last, but not least, the most simple way to change things for the better, is simply choosing to focus on something else. The choice is simple, the action is not. It definitely takes some effort and commitment.

You can reprogram your brain in each moment of the day. Every time you obsessively think about your ‘lying and cheating ex,’ shift your thoughts to a happier time, either with him or with others. This creates new energy patterns that allows you to start thinking about some of the good in your life, instead of just the bad.

You may this is just ‘sticking your head in the sand’ and foolishly ignoring reality. But the truth is, if your current reality doesn’t serve you, why focus on it, when you can shift your attention and create a new one that does?

Yes, it sucks when relationships aren’t working out as we had hoped or imagines, or life’s circumstances do not meet our needs. It’s especially difficult when we can see the full potential of others or a relationship, but it just doesn’t seem to be manifesting that way.

We have the power to shift any situation, but it has to start with ourselves and the changes we choose to make. We create our own reality. That doesn’t mean we get to hand pick every person that’s in it (because they also get to choose their own reality) but it does mean we get to choose how we navigate and respond to what is showing up in our life. And if we don’t like it, we have the power to change it.

About The Author: Joy

Joy's connection with her Guides, Spirit, and the Angelic Realm was a bumpy journey that began at a young age. Lack of acceptance forced her to shut down her gifts, for a time, but they could not be suppressed for long! When the demands of Spirit became overwhelming, and their voices became too loud in her ears, she found powerful mentors to help her guide, control and expand her abilities. She was led to a woman named Paula who taught her Tarot and schooled her in Auras. Joy also studied with acclaimed Medium John Edwards' very own teacher, and she has delivered tons of messages, in public and at the hair salon where she honed her skills. For over 25 years now, she has worked with powerful tools, she has earned certifications in Reiki 2 and Meditation, she has taught classes on Crystals and Meditation, and has dedicated herself to delivering accurate and powerful Medium/Psychic readings and energy work to her clients. She lives in sunny Florida with her companion pit bull at her side, providing readings for clients at-home, and at private parties. A double Cancer, she is as sensitive a sensitive as they come, and can connect to your energies or to those who have passed, with ease and accuracy. If you would like a reading with a true Joy, you can find her at

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