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The Art Of Asking Questions

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comMany people are afraid of asking questions, and yet asking questions is an essential skill if one wants to learn from others, or from Spirit. People are afraid of what they perceive to be the risks involved in asking questions, due to their own unhealed issues of control, fear, and ego.

Asking questions can make you look or feel vulnerable. If you grew up in a dysfunctional or abusive family, asking questions may have been perceived as defiant, and maybe punishment would have been doled out.

In the workplace this is often the same. An insecure boss or even co-worker might react badly to questions, perceiving them as challenges rather than an effort to learn or obtain information needed to learn. In poorly run workplaces (that do not know how to effectively train or educate their workers) asking questions could mean you are risking getting fired for ‘not knowing’ something, rather than it being seen as taking the initiative to learn and check on details.

The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth ~ Peter Abelard

Exposure to such reactions to asking questions may have trained you to keep your head down. Shut up, and don’t ask.

For those with insecurities or self-esteem issues, looking good is a priority, rather than asking a question and risking ‘looking stupid’ or ‘not being cool.’ Some people are so shut down they no longer even consider asking questions, as if they have had a brain-wipe and asking questions no longer exists as an option in their neural network.

Not asking questions creates a limitation. It tells others and Spirit that the subject is off limits for you, or that you may not even be aware that there is a subject that needs discussing. People know that if someone doesn’t want to hear an answer, there is no way you can give that person any information or advice, as it will be disregarded or ignored, or in some cases not even understood. Spirit also knows that if you are not asking, you are not ready for any guidance regarding that subject.

Asking questions does take skill and courage. It is a risk and requires you to have a strong (flexible, not rigid) relationship with your Self, so you can tolerate the gamut of reactions that may result from you asking a question, or hearing an answer that is upsetting or challenging for you to hear.

Just because you ask a question does not mean you will hear the answer you secretly are hoping to hear. And as so many people are not working on themselves, you can count on some people either taking offense or feeling threatened when asked a question.

So, are you strong enough to proceed? What most people do is ‘manage’ others, to ensure that they always ‘look good.’ They make do with what information they have, and then just make up the rest, praying they are right, or at least will get through the current situation or challenge.

We get wise by asking questions, and even if these are not answered, we get wise, for a well-packed question carries its answer on its back as a snail carries its shell ~ James Stephens

What happens if you do not ask questions? Not much, sort of like not asking for directions. You will get there eventually and you will still learn. Asking a question does not mean you will be dominated and controlled, it does not mean that you will lose free will, or that you won’t be allowed to follow your intuition or receive and follow spiritual guidance. Asking questions and receiving answers also does not mean you must accept the answer, follow orders, or even agree with the information.

Asking questions means you want to listen. Asking questions is also the key to spiritual growth. It shows Spirit, as well as your teacher, counselor or therapist, that you are aware of a subject and want to learn more. Most people pray to tell Spirit what they want help with, or whatever the main problem is that needs resolution, instead of rather asking: show me.

When you don’t ask questions, especially open-ended questions, then you are telling others, or Spirit, to only address what you are concerned about. What if there are things you don’t know about? In fact, some things may be so hidden from your current consciousness that you cannot even ask questions, because it is hidden from your view, or your perceptions. Open-ended questions create the space for you to receive more answers, and real guidance, advice, or help.

For example, “Is there anything else I need to know,” is a great question when you talking to other people.  And when communicating with Spirit, simply ask: “Show me.”

Getting answers or spiritual guidance can expedite learning, but it will not take away the learning – just like getting a psychic readings can show you a trail, but you still have to walk the trail, learn the lessons and gain skills.

Can the answers we receive sometimes confuse us? Yes, but so does not asking. You must learn to tolerate learning. Learning takes strength, and a true relationship with Self and Spirit that will hold you steady through the inevitable times of ambiguity and confusion, which always occurs during the process of learning.

In all affairs, it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted ~ Bertrand Russell

Learning means you are reaching for more knowledge, wisdom, experience or clarity. Sometimes learning also means you are curious, adventurous, excited to explore new areas of thought, feelings, ideas, practices or information. ‘Not knowing’ can also come from too many answers, challenging answers, and no answers. And yes, as with all things, finding your balance between asking questions and then finally taking the leap to do something, is key – even when you are not completely sure about the guidance you are getting, or about what exactly to do, or when.

Having the strength to not be swayed by too much information and to not be threatened by too little information; finding the balance between taking action or waiting; and finding the wisdom regarding when to ask versus when you are avoiding or hiding from information and learning, will  be a work in progress for your entire life, should you decide to live an awakened, mindful life.

The alternative is to hide behind a façade of pretending you ‘know,’ saving face, and creating an image to keep people at bay, because you are too weak to ask questions or set boundaries, and other choices of avoidance. These latter choices will definitely make your life path more challenging and difficult, and the lessons will come in harder in order to overcome your resistance.

About The Author: Nonna

Nonna lives in Southern California, and is a professor of psychology and a teacher of psychic development, energy work and meditation, who has recently finished her PhD. She has been a counselor for both humans and animals for thirty years, removing energy blocks through her expertise in the spiritual arts. She also has numerous years of study and practice with classic psychological therapeutic models, family work, twelve-step processes, nutritional and body/mind/spirit healing, complementary, alternative, and quantum medicine. Nonna is brilliant at unearthing the gems in every client's soul and polishing them to a fine finish. To release your own soul's sparkle, contact Nonna at

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