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My Alternative New Age Dictionary

click photo to get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you are a passionate, committed person in a field that has become commercialized, it can be so very frustrating. One of the ways I deal with my frustration is with humor. Therefore, if you do not have a sense of humor, or take things very seriously, please do not read any further. If you do, you will be proceeding at your own risk.

I recently worked at a spiritual faire, which no members of the public bothered to attend. It ended up being just the bunch of ‘gifted’ vendors who spent the day talking incessantly about themselves, telling each other the same amazing stories, over and over again. These stories are meant to prove that they were meant to share their ‘gift’ with humanity. Not mentioned in any of these tales is the family money, or lawsuit money, alimony, family or spousal support payments, which helped to finance their perceived notions of being ‘chosen’ to do this work.

Channeling aliens is not going to make a better world for our children nor is the majority of the “New Age” mumbo jumbo, especially if we don’t clean house firstKendra Gilbert

It was a long day. I thought I was going to lose my mind. To pass the time, I was inspired to create the following alternative New Age dictionary of terminology – a guide to the modern jargon of the commercial metaphysics industry:

It was meant to be – I screwed up and refuse to look at my mistakes or take responsibility.

It is what it is – I did not prepare, I did not plan for anything to go wrong and I refuse to feel responsible.

You are a Goddess – I can’t stand you, or your energy, because I am jealous of you. I am going to give you a complement so you will feel good, while I can feel better about my own, crappy emotional reaction.

It’s a past life thing – I don’t want to deal with this issue. I am a healer, or psychic, but I can’t explain your issue, therefore I am going to make up a story that will entertain us both and justify whatever is going on.

It’s karmic – Related to ‘It’s a past life thing.’ You deserved this bad news for making that bad choice or judgment call. I don’t want to look at it any further, or learn from my mistakes. If I am a healer, or psychic, I don’t want to have to tell you anything that might make you mad at me, as you may not come back for another session.

I’m channeling an Archangel – This is coming from a higher authority. You cannot challenge me, or my ideas.

I am a channel – I am not good enough at speaking myself; therefore I am calling in spirits from the Other Side. I will not mention that I have no idea who I am channeling, whether or not it is an advanced soul, or some messed-up soul. And I have never questioned the Spirits I am channeling as to why they have the karma to continue to interact with the human race at this time.

I am an empath – It’s all about me. I am so sensitive that I have to be the center of attention, whenever you have any emotional reaction or thought, or do anything that upsets me. You will have to spend hours, or days, or weeks helping me to recover because it is all about me, myself and I.

My chakras are (fill in the blank) – I don’t want to have to deal with any uncomfortable facts, such as getting fired from a job, having a problem with alcohol, being broke, overweight , lonely, and so on.

Simply put, spirituality is not about changing yourself or creating a newer-better you… Authentic spirituality is about mindful participation in your own life. While, new-age spirituality is concerned with carving out a new, more exotic role for the ego to play ~ Benjamin Riggs

I have a gift – Just like an Olympic Athlete, I was born with a gift and don’t have to do anything to either develop or maintain my gift. Nor do I have to study any earthly subjects, such as psychology, nutrition, the use of herbs and supplements, or the symptoms of severe emotional distress. I know it all naturally.

I am a healer – I need to make you feel good, because that makes me feel good. I do not have the inner resources to feel good on my own. I am addicted to making others feel good, as that is my drug of choice, to give me a sense of purpose, to soothe my anxieties. I constantly reach out to heal others, who don’t even ask for a healing, as my way to be in denial of my own feelings and any challenges in my own life.

I healed myself – Or so I claim. Because I did, I now expect others to do the same. By sharing my story, I can guilt trip others who are suffering. I did it, why can’t you? My thinking is that everybody is just like me and my one experience should be applicable to everyone else.

When a service to your fellow man becomes an industry, there are obviously corruptions. Sad, but true. Spiritual self-help and the metaphysical arts has become a billion dollar industry.

I was a professor for many years and witnessed how some teachers can become egomaniacs and control freaks, pontificating to a captive audience. There are exceptions of course as seen in some brilliant, committed teachers. The same holds true for truly gifted spiritual teachers and healers who actually do have a personal daily practice.

Don’t get discouraged. There are exceptions in every field. Journey on.

About The Author: Nonna

Nonna lives in Southern California, and is a professor of psychology and a teacher of psychic development, energy work and meditation, who has recently finished her PhD. She has been a counselor for both humans and animals for thirty years, removing energy blocks through her expertise in the spiritual arts. She also has numerous years of study and practice with classic psychological therapeutic models, family work, twelve-step processes, nutritional and body/mind/spirit healing, complementary, alternative, and quantum medicine. Nonna is brilliant at unearthing the gems in every client's soul and polishing them to a fine finish. To release your own soul's sparkle, contact Nonna at

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