News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

Being Good To The Self

Click the pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comIn truth, no one can really help anyone else. We can share our experience, strength and hope. And all the great self-help tools are just that – tools. Tools don’t use themselves… people use tools.

Motivational speeches and mutual encouragement can indeed be helpful. There is obviously a reason why the motivational speaking field is a billion dollar industry. However, it can become a kind of drug. Motivation ultimately needs to come from a Higher Source and an internal source. Otherwise we risk becoming a mere slave to someone else making us feel good.

Additionally, motivation is not always the necessary ingredient. Sometimes we simply need some self-discipline – which is currently not a popular trend in our society. Self-discipline requires delayed gratification, which is the opposite of addiction, and is a hallmark of developmental maturity. Self-discipline does not mean we have to go all hardcore ‘boot camp’ on our self, but simply to put one foot in front of the other… and persist.

In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves… self-discipline with all of them came first ~ Harry S. Truman

Good healers share their educated knowledge and their life experiences regarding their own healing journey, along with their specific spiritual gifts and talents. But they cannot induce persistence, no matter how many informative emails and special deals they offer. If they could, many self-help gurus would soon be out of business. Sadly, the self-help and motivational speaking industry is full of these promises. One workshop, or one session a month is often not enough to get you through a tough spot or stuck thinking.

When I was a professor, I saw some of the best students come out of the worst schools, and some of the worst students come from the best schools… making the professor, at best, half the equation. In the healing  profession, the healer is also only a part of the solution. Along with the personal persistence of the person seeking guidance, Spirit and energies play a large part in personal progress.

The job of a spiritual healer, teacher, shaman, or advisor, as I see it, is to eventually become obsolete, except perhaps for emergencies. We are supposed to show you the trail, talk to you about preparation and gear, walk part of the trail with you, and then move to the background to support you, as you journey off without the training wheels. You have to do the pedaling… and you do have to travel the trail by yourself!

‎Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself-and be lenient to everybody else ~ Henry Ward Beecher

I have not had good luck or good results with the ‘feel good’ industry in general. I don’t think I am very skilled in making people feel good for the sake of just feeling good. If people come to me looking to have a better understanding of what path they picked to travel this life, a stronger spiritual connection, and a physical body that is more a friend than foe, I can certainly help them. But merely feeling good is not a good goal for me.

Being good to the self is a much better goal. A side effect of being good to the self is feeling good, no matter what life brings. Being good to the self, and having a strong, relevant, and lively spiritual life, means we are no longer so dependent on external gratification and validations to feel good. Now that is real freedom! And that is the path to having a life filled with more serenity, acceptance and joy on a daily basis.

About The Author: Nonna

Nonna lives in Southern California, and is a professor of psychology and a teacher of psychic development, energy work and meditation, who has recently finished her PhD. She has been a counselor for both humans and animals for thirty years, removing energy blocks through her expertise in the spiritual arts. She also has numerous years of study and practice with classic psychological therapeutic models, family work, twelve-step processes, nutritional and body/mind/spirit healing, complementary, alternative, and quantum medicine. Nonna is brilliant at unearthing the gems in every client's soul and polishing them to a fine finish. To release your own soul's sparkle, contact Nonna at

2 Responses to Being Good To The Self

  • Totally with you on this Nonna, sometimes I read these ‘feel good’ online packages etc and think but how ? I believe a lot more work needs to go into it and it’s not a one size fits all, we’re all so unique. I also believe people can help on a spiritual level too
    Love & Light to you.

  • Thank you for a great article! Great explanation of what we have to do for ourselves…many of us don’t get that!

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