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Are You One Of The ‘Secret Friends’?

Get a free psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comSocial media romance. Modern love. Digital dating. Facebook relationship status updates. People tell each other on social media platforms what they know others want to hear. We declare our love for each other on Facebook so others can know. That everyone can see we belong to each other. “I love you online, therefore our love exists.”

But do we spend any time together? Real time? Do we share the moments where people are just people. The real deal? Those dark, sad days, the boredom, the arguments, the silence. How often do friends still eat popcorn together, or go to the hot springs the next day? Can we love those who have no accomplishments or major ambitions, or those who are not networked into some industry or popular social circle?  How often do we just call to talk to each other, even if we don’t have much to say?

I think the rise of social media is definitely correlated with the rise of narcissism in our society. Our self-esteem depends on how many likes we get, how many followers we get, if someone texts us back ~ Kim Stolz

Or worse… are you one of the secret friends; the one they all come crawling to when the shadows start to move in on them. Are you the friend they won’t acknowledge in public, will not go to lunch with when the “others” are around. Are you the one they do not stick up for, or support, because they cannot admit that their secret friend has been their heart, backbone, or wings when they really needed you.  Because it is not a cool status update to admit you needed someone, or you needed to be saved, or hugged, or carried.

If you are one of those “secret friends”… what’s up with that?  Do you see yourself as a shadow? The shadow that allows others to see themselves as the Sun? That is okay, as long as someone holds your heart in their hands as you have held other’s hearts over the years. If you find yourself alone in the Garden with only Spirit, do you cry? If not, Blessed Be.

If you do cry, are you the one that cannot say “no” when yet another person tells you that you are the only one who can understand them, but only now because they are in pain and needy. The rest of the time you do not exist for them. They never call to say you are the one who they want to share their joy with, or to invite you into their circle of accomplishments and accomplished colleagues or friends. They never even call to just ask how you are.

Do you tell others what you really need? Do you say “yes” and not “no”, because you hope that by giving, it will be offered to you in return in the future? It is kind of like banking for friendship. One makes a “deposit” by saying “yes” when another comes crawling in pain or loneliness, or because they want to share in some of the glory days of your ordinary life. One can presume to think that what goes around comes around; that the giving will cycle back when needed. But sadly those kinds of deposits rarely pay out any returns. Non-refundable deposit.

The wise do not buy into other people’s perceptions of who they are and what they are capable of. Instead, they bypass a person’s public persona and see who they are in their highest expression. When you see actions taken with integrity, instead of words only, you will then know a soul’s worth ~ Shannon L. Alder

Love comes first. Through actions and behaviors proven over time. Saying “I love you”  may mean something, but the behaviors and actions show how someone truly loves you.  Are you loved as an old bathrobe, a doormat, or as a standby rescue person? Or have you been shown you that you are cherished, and considered special and someone of worth.

Universal, Spiritual Love is available for us all. Human love is a bit more complex. Cherish yourself by carefully deciding who handles your heart and how – and how you handle your own heart. If you begin to treat your own heart as a precious gift, you will not abandon yourself so readily. You will not let strangers, who might appear to have good intentions and the right words, come so close so quickly, without first observing their behaviors and actions. And you will learn to not be so willing to overlook the behaviors that have proven harmful to you, just because someone claims “I love you.” The love may really be there, but without a pattern of behavior that matches the words, you are at risk. Your heart and your happiness is at risk.

There is no harm in waiting, or saying no. If it is meant to be, they will not leave you. You can forgive, or give, without putting yourself at risk. You exist without their words of love. Cherish you as much as you cherish all those you give to. Choose carefully whom you let approach your precious inner child, your heart, your soul.

About The Author: Nonna

Nonna lives in Southern California, and is a professor of psychology and a teacher of psychic development, energy work and meditation, who has recently finished her PhD. She has been a counselor for both humans and animals for thirty years, removing energy blocks through her expertise in the spiritual arts. She also has numerous years of study and practice with classic psychological therapeutic models, family work, twelve-step processes, nutritional and body/mind/spirit healing, complementary, alternative, and quantum medicine. Nonna is brilliant at unearthing the gems in every client's soul and polishing them to a fine finish. To release your own soul's sparkle, contact Nonna at

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