toxic relationship
The Dealbreakers And Dealmakers Of Dating
Dating has changed a lot in recent years, especially with the advent of social media and dating apps. But one thing that has not changed is that most people still want to meet someone special to share their lives with.
I had to venture back into the dating scene myself after my husband passed away several years ago. At first, I had absolutely no interest in meeting someone new, but after a long period of grieving, healing, and self-reflection, I finally realized that I did not want or need to be alone for the rest of my life.
I remember so many people giving me dating and relationship advice after I became a widow. They particularly advised me not to remarry, especially at my age. “Trust me, you don’t need the headaches and drama,” they all said. “You’ll never find someone as good as him,” one predicted. “It’s a toxic war zone out there,” lamented another. Relatives, friends, and even neighbors all had something negative or skeptical to say.
While I appreciated everyone’s concern and well-meant intentions at the time, I decided to stay true to myself and trust my inner guidance. You see, I already knew something they did not.
Spirit revealed to me toward the end of my grieving period that I would eventually meet someone new, but that I would have to take the necessary steps to make it happen. My future partner was not going to miraculously show up at my door. I had to put myself out there to meet him.
Turn Your Home Into A Sacred Space
How many times have you needed a timeout, or place of refuge to clear your mind? Seeking peace and balance is vital, with all of the breakdowns and breakthroughs occurring in our personal lives, and the world today. This is why making your home a scared space is essential to your energetic well-being and mental health.
For me, an energetically healthy home is a reflection of who I am spiritually and what I believe. We all have a unique story that is to be expressed in our immediate environment, thus making it holy and sacred.
When you infuse your home or a room with your divine essence, you are creating Heaven on Earth and raising the vibration of the world.
You don’t need to invest a lot of money since simplicity is key.
Declutter
From past experience, the best place to start is by removing all the clutter in your living space that is no longer wanted or needed. Sell it, donate it, or simply toss it, depending on the condition, value and sentiment. This is a fundamental principle in the ancient Chinese tradition of Feng Shui to live in greater harmony with your environment.
By cleansing and purifying the energy in your living environment, you wipe the metaphysical slate clean and allow new inspiration, people and ideas to manifest. Sometimes we become stuck in a recurring cycle or pattern of doing things, until we remove an element, or find another perspective.
Betrayal Blindness And The Family Scapegoat
I have a good friend who was raised by a mother who constantly belittled and talked down to her. She never defended herself, because she grew up believing that she deserved her mother’s abuse, because something was wrong with her causing her to always say and do the wrong things.
Once she graduated high school, she moved out of her mom’s house. Her life became much more peaceful for several years, until she started noticing that her brother was following in their mother’s footsteps by adopting the same kind of toxic, abusive language towards her.
It oddly became evident to her one year at Christmas time, when she gifted him a beautiful, crocheted blanket that she had been working on for many months and he rolled his eyes and made some disparaging remark about it. She then started noticing how pompous, ungrateful, and narcissistic he truly was. Growing up with him, she always assumed he just had bit of an ego or a macho attitude, but now that she had gained life experience and wisdom, she realized he was simply an abusive jerk.
Still, she chose not to criticize or judge him. In fact, she did the opposite, she encouraged his long-suffering partner to stay by his side and continue to support and love him, because she understood that he was also just a product of his upbringing, like herself. Meanwhile, he faithfully continued judging and belittling her. Because that is what he had seen their mother do all his life.
But one day, something inside her finally shifted. She had reached a point of no return and decided to start standing up for herself! Enough already.
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.
Free Yourself From An Unhealthy Relationship
An intimate relationship or marriage is meant to be a safe space. Your partner or spouse is supposed to be the closest person in your life. They should be the one person you are able to trust unconditionally with the most important aspects of your life.
If you are currently in a challenging relationship, you need to ask yourself if this union has all the key traits for a healthy, happy relationship. Do you feel secure, safe, and supported? More importantly, do you feel loved and valued?
If not, are you hoping it will somehow work eventually, and develop into something that will offer you more of what you need and deserve?
These are vital questions to ask yourself, not only before you commit to someone, but also throughout the relationship. All relationships evolve over time as people change and grow.
Just because everything was great during the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase of a relationship, does not guarantee it will remain that way. A healthy relationship continues to grow and evolve, as both partners grown and evolve.
I have worked with many clients over the years who settled for less, or got caught up in the downward spiral of a dysfunctional, toxic relationship. Saying “I love you” does not mean much if it is not backed up by matching actions and behavior.
Seven Powerful Ways To Attract True Love
For the metaphysically aware single person there are powerful, tried-and-tested ways to create, attract and manifest romantic love. Many of my clients have attracted their life mate using these techniques, and it has also helped some of my single friends to find love and romance.
The following are ways to open up and allow your heart to connect with someone who is your vibrational love match.
Alignment. First, you need to understand that we cannot attract anyone or anything into our life unless we are on the same frequency with that person or thing. We need to align our energy vibration with that which we are hoping to attract. Attuning ourselves to what we feel worthy of manifesting is key.
Higher Vibration. We also need to raise our vibration to a level of consciousness where we are consistently in greater alignment with the energies of unconditional love, compassion, kindness, tolerance, patience, gratitude, peace and joy. Why? Because true, long-lasting love of the ‘soulmate’ variety is found in these higher realms of vibration.
Non-Resistance. An important ingredient is to not create resistance by being too intensely attached to the outcome. If we put too much focus or emphasis on our intentions and goals, we create resistance. God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants all of us to experience happiness and fulfillment, and live our best life. But if we want something too badly, we delay or deflect it from coming into our life. Being overly attached creates self-defeating energy roadblocks.