self-reflection
Make Time To Listen To Your Heart
The heart is a wondrous place, the keeper of all your dreams, desires, hopes, and wishes. The heart is your protector and guide and the holder of your very own sacred flame.
No matter where we are in this life, or what role we have embraced as our life’s mission, we must always honor the calling of our heart. It’s built-in GPS will never lead us astray. The heart’s invitation is always one that guides us to our greatest purpose through the love of the Divine, love of life, love of self, love of others, and love of service.
There are times in life when the heart calls for us to make a sacrifice to bring to fruition a special dream or mission. But the fast-paced world we live in provides little time or space for the calmness necessary to hear the sometimes faint calling of the heart. This is why we must take time away from others to honor the commitment of the soul. It is as necessary as the medical student in the preparation for becoming a great surgeon.
For a tree to grow, a seed must first be planted, which requires retreating into the stillness of the forest or the garden, breaking the soil, and carefully nesting a seedling into the heart of mother earth. Similarly, to overcome the many distractions of our worlds, we must create the time and space to tune in to the song of our heart.
In doing so, we are honoring our heart, which requires consistent practice, beginning with baby steps. Over time, we can cultivate a spiritual practice of listening to the heart in much larger steps, and then bold, giant steps.
Mahatma Gandhi, the great activist, and humanitarian, once said that prayer, regardless of one’s religion or spiritual path, purifies the heart. Gandhi cultivated a deep stillness in his own life by making time to listen to his heart through the daily practice of meditation.
Neglecting Your Own Needs Will Destroy Your Relationship
Some people are in really toxic relationships without realizing it. How do you know for sure if you are in a bad relationship? Well, often it is as simple as asking yourself a few basic questions.
Am I safe? Am I truly happy? Do I feel loved and supported? Are my most important needs being met? If you answer no to any of these, you may need to reassess your relationship.
Some people get caught in a dead-end relationship trap. They feel trapped and do not know how to get out of a bad situation. It can be very hard to leave someone you love. But sometimes that is what me must do in order to love ourselves.
A leading cause of failing relationships is often a lack of open, honest communication about our hopes, dreams, fears, and needs. It is very hard sometimes to bring up a subject that is uncomfortable, but remember that you deserve to be happy. It does not serve anyone to put your own needs last.
Self-worth also plays a major role. Do not put your own needs aside because you fear you cannot do better. Stay true to what is most important to you and ask for what you want!
If your current partner cannot meet your needs or refuses to respect your wishes, maybe your future does not align with theirs. Finding the right person is really what you need to do to be true to you and who you are.
Keeping Score In A Relationship
I believe the habit of keeping a ‘score card’ might start in someone’s childhood. It is based on developing a certain sense of duty and responsibility early on. For example, as kids I remember my sister and I had to take turns doing the dishes. My sister would always keep tabs on that chore. She always knew whose turn it was next. My sister is four years older than me, and to this day she still keeps score on almost everything in her life.
This also set the precedent for me with friends and other family members. Others keeping score just seems natural to me, so I never feel the need to do so myself.
This did not server me well in all aspects of my young adult life. For example, in relationships it always felt like I was the one trying to make things work. It did not make any difference to me who called who last. Therefore, I ended up doing most of the calling. But does it truly matter that much?
What has the other person done for me? After all I have done and given so much! What do I get out of this relationship? These are the questions score keepers are always asking themselves.
But in my view, a relationship is never 50/50, even if both people are truly happy and fulfilled. One will always be doing less or more. But it does not matter, as true love is supposed to be unconditional.
So, if you are keeping a score card things will never balance and the emotion that will come up is anger, rebellion, defensiveness, or a complete shut-down. That does not serve any relationship in the long run.
Nagging Thoughts Are Life Lessons
Sometimes I do it too – we all do it. We sit there and rehash stuff in our minds…over and over. We beat ourselves up and say things like, “If only I would have done this”, or “If only I had not said that”.
This kind of thinking really is a waste of time. It can be very draining to sit and analyze things gone by and worry about the past.
Of course, it is certainly better to move with some discernment and caution, while we are going about our day, so we don’t make unnecessary mistakes or fall victim to this kind of regretful thinking later. But it is also important to know that no one is perfect.
Some go about their days not caring what they do or say, and neither do they ever feel the need to do this kind of obsessive thinking about the past. But the majority of us sometimes wonder if we could have done things differently, or feel the need to hold ourselves accountable for every thought, word, action and deed – and that is why we tend to go over things, time and time again.
When you find yourself engaging in this kind of thinking, just stop doing it. Thoughts that just replay events over and over again in your mind is such a waste of energy. Instead consider for a minute how the relevant events are actually a wonderful learning experience.
Those thoughts are there, bugging you, as an opportunity for growth. Ask yourself what you will do or say differently next time, and then you can go about the rest of your day with inner peace and comfort, knowing you that you have gained valuable new knowledge from the experience, and now you can turn it into wisdom for the future. People who learn from themselves and their actions can truly smile, knowing that they can ‘cruise’ along this cosmic wave called life at a higher altitude and higher level of thinking.
Visualizing Your Soul’s Path
If you are currently struggling with feelings of emptiness, loneliness, boredom or a lack of meaning and purpose in your life, it may be that you are not connected to your soul purpose.
We are so much more than just our careers, business pursuits, relationships, family, or home. We are spiritual beings in human form, each with a unique soul path and personal destiny.
To become more aware of our innate spiritual purpose we must pay attention to our inner voice and listen carefully to our heart’s desire. We must find what truly resonates with our soul.
A fun visualization exercise I recommend to anyone looking for clues to their true soul’s path is to imagine the ideal color of your home’s front door.
Imagine coming home on any average day. Were you driving home in a car that needs to be parked in the driveway? Or maybe you took the bus, or were you walking or biking? Visualize the details your arrival.
Next, see yourself coming up your walkway or entrance facing the front door of your abode. Now, instead of its current actual color, imagine the ideal new color for your door. What color do you see? The color your spontaneously imagined reflects the interest of your soul.
For example, if you imagine your door to be painted red it may indicate that you operate with a lot of passion and excitement. A light shade of blue may be reflective of freedom of expression, or you are a soul who thinks, feels, and operates outside the box. A darker navy tone might indicate a more serious nature and a strong sense of commitment to the community. My preferred door color is a bright yellow, which is a sign of my interest in the intuitive and metaphysical realm.
The Key To Finding True Love
How do I find true, long-lasting love? This is a question I get in many readings, almost every day. True love is indeed a very special, rare miracle. Most people try to find it, but many fail.
I believe the solution is already within all of us, we just need to look inside to find it. Yes, the answer to finding true love is already inside you!
What you need to consider carefully is how much do you love yourself? If the answer is ‘not so much’ or ‘not enough,’ then you need to ask yourself why?
You see, many people do not love themselves enough to feel they actually deserve love. And if we do not believe we deserve love, then we will also not find it. We can only manifest in our life what we resonate with.
Believing that you deserve love simply begins with loving yourself first. When we finally put out of our mind all the self-doubt and lack of self-worth, it changes our mind set to believing we deserve to be happy and to be wholeheartedly loved by others. Then we can move forward by becoming an energy frequency match to finally attracting that someone special.
It all starts is with you. Anyone can achieve and find love, but unconditional self-love is the only viable beginning of that journey. Without self-love and self-acceptance, not other love can survive, much less succeed.
An important byproduct of authentic self-love is that it clarifies your actual wants and needs, and your personal strengths and shortcomings. These are important to know for yourself, as it sets the scene for all your other relationships. Is the person I am dating right for me? You will not know that if you do not know yourself.
Transmuting Enemy Energy
Some clients ask for readings about people they think of as their enemies, and I’ve seen certain commonalities with this over the years. In these relationships there are typically an energy pattern that has formed to create a dynamic of mistrust, tension, and resentment.
One of the most prevalent issues I have noticed in terms of long-standing resentment or hatred towards another, is that both parties usually consider themselves the ‘victim,’ and that the other person is always in their mind the one who is in the wrong.
When you take it a level deeper, you usually find there was an initial intense or significant energy when these two people first met – be it a lover, friend, or work associate. It is usually a conflicting energy that sets the tone for their future ‘vibe’ with each other.
This initial energy has a resistance to it and eventually takes on a life of its own, separate from the two conflicting parties. Peel away the layers of this ‘enemy energy demon’ and you come to find it is essentially comprised of nothing more than simple fear.
Also, this enemy demon resists the idea of resolution and will not accept its own demise. It will do whatever it can to stay alive, and it feeds off the emotions anger, fear, and sadness. I believe this is what may be responsible for some suicides, violence, acts of terrorism, mass corruption, and others evil we see in the world.
There is never an excuse for violence. If someone is attacking or harming another person, safety and protection come first. Recovering from trauma is not typically something that happens quickly. However, when we are better informed about what is behind the behavior patterns of those who hate us, we can better see to the root of the disease.