self-love
Harmony In Your Relationship
How does one achieve true harmony in a relationship? This is probably the most elusive aspect in most relationships these days. Sadly, a happy and healthy relationship cannot be achieved without it also being a harmonious relationship!
To achieve harmony in any relationship, we need to address the following two aspects with honesty and courage.
Firstly, what do you require from the relationship? Are your needs being met, or is the relationship all about them? Too often people settle for a bad relationship instead seeking to fulfill their own wants and needs.
Remember, you matter. You must also be your priority, not just your partner. Your wants and needs are a priority. If you put your needs aside and put everyone before yourself, you will never find harmony or joy in your relationships.
Make a list of your top ten wants or needs. Then make a list of your top five deal-breakers. What will you not tolerate or settle for? Once you have clarity on what you need and expect, you can more easily figure out what to do about it.
A healthy relationship goes both ways, with comprise. Do your best to see that you stay true to your wants and needs. Too many people settle, because they either think they cannot find someone better, or they are scared to move forward on their own. But we must be brave to achieve what we desire in life.
Tell yourself that you deserve to be happy and that you are going to find it. You deserve it! You are worth it! If you put all of that out to the Universe and believe it, it will happen for you when the time is right. Belief is key. If you believe it, you will achieve it.
You Are Stronger Than You Think
It is a lesser-known fact that depression can show up in our lives at any time, at a moment’s notice, with no warning. You can be in the happiest time of your life, and it can still sneak up on you.
Depression is a sneaky mental illness. You can do the therapy and treatment, the journaling, meditation, affirmations, and energy healing work all you want, but for some of us it can return at any time and still negatively impact our lives.
Emotionally exhausted days in bed or walking around like a zombie with no motivation or life direction. It is like carrying a bag of rocks on your back that gets heavier and heavier, until it finally overwhelms you entirely.
A person with high-functioning depression can fake a huge smile on the outside, while underneath they are falling apart. Their upbeat laughter and busy schedule are simply a coverup for the dark, ominous shadows that follows them everywhere they go.
For some it ends in suicide. Many of the lives tragically lost over the past year were not all directly due to the SARS-CoV-2 virus. The pandemic has also taken the lives of many people who simply could not cope with the trauma of these challenging times.
The world remains so judgmental about mental illness, despite the recent pandemic that has so brutally exposed its prevalence in our society. The pandemic has also not brought people closer together, as one might expect. Instead, it has torn already dysfunctional families, friendships, and workplaces further apart. It has given rise to abuse, anger, hatred, fear, and intolerance.
But you are stronger than you think. You may even be someone else’s rock at the moment and not even know it. And if the worst is currently upon you, or someone you love, call upon your angels, spirit guides and ancestors to hold you up, to guide you and to lift your energy.
Seeing Yourself As You Truly Are
The art of ‘being seen’ begins within. It is not in the eyes, or heart, of an external beholder. It is the grace of being able to see oneself through the Divine Eyes of our Creator.
Every soul is unique. No two are the same. Each soul emanates from the Supreme Loving Source to offer its unique beauty and pleasure to God in an incomparable, individual way. When we look at ourselves through this lens, the true beauty, light, and power of the spiritual spark of our being shines upon our inner vision.
Relationships offer mirrors too. But what they show vary according to the quality of the reflecting surface. And what we see in them depends upon how well we know, see, and stand in the truth of our own higher self.
For example, if I look at myself in a broken mirror, do I see a crack in my face? I might…if I am not sure of who I am. However, if I know myself to be whole, I can readily recognize that the crack is in the mirror, and not in my face.
Similarly, there are relationships in life that reflect broken images back to us. That does not mean that we are broken, nor that the other person or people involved are broken either. We all have wounds and scars and other gaping holes yet to be healed, or not.
Whatever the case may be, it is the relationship itself that offers up the reflective element. It is the dynamic of exchange that shows itself as either clean, clear, balanced, cracked, smeared, skewed, and so on.
Knowing oneself in truth and wholeness is thus extremely valuable. If we do not possess such certainty of self, we may accept a broken or distorted impression projected by an ill-functioning relationship to be a reflection upon ourselves.
Tune Into The Guidance Of Your Emotions
I believe our emotions are an additional ‘sense’ we use as a means of interpreting our life experiences, in the same way the normal five senses enable us to perceive and understand the world around us. Our ‘emotional sense’ help us make decisions about our preferences all the time.
For example, I love chocolate. My sense of taste tells me that chocolate is for me! It’s a very clear and obvious signal from my taste buds to my brain. We receive and process stimuli all the time and our senses help us to ‘make sense’ of that input.
Your emotions are also giving you information about your preferences and if we listen and pay attention, we can gain a lot of guidance from it. Our emotions don’t just come from nowhere. They arise in direct response to stimuli or input, just like our senses do.
I have also heard emotions described as an internal guidance system, or our inner compass, which helps us decide what we want to create more of, and less of, in our life. We sometimes get confused though, because just like the other senses, we have different preferences.
For example, some people love coconut desserts, but I detest then. Not thanks, keep your coconut out of my chocolate! The thing is, I’m not confused about the fact that I don’t like coconut. I also don’t feel I have to change my preference because other people love coconut. And I also don’t force myself to eat it, just to make other people happy.
When one of our five physical senses tells us something we tend to listen, because it’s visceral. We feel it undeniably in the body. Emotions are no different!
When you are heartbroken, do you not feel it in your chest as a physical pain? When you are embarrassed, do your cheeks or ears not become flushed? Or how about when someone you love hugs you so warm and deliciously, all your muscles just ‘melt’ into that person? These are all physical responses the accompany our emotions.
The Three Laws of Grace
There are three primary Laws of Grace that function under the overarching Law of Attraction. Grace is generally associated with divine support or spiritual help, but in this context it simply means that we are always free to choose again.
The Law of Love
The first Law of Grace is the Law of Love. The Law of Love does not refer to feelings, sentiments or emotions. Too often it is assumed that love is a feeling we get when we are with someone, but in metaphysics and spirituality love is not a feeling.
Instead, spiritual love is choosing to accept others as they are and to want what is best for them. What most of us know as ‘love’ today is actually ‘like,’ because to like someone or something is conditional. Real love, on the other hand, has no conditions. It is unconditional.
There is also a common belief about ‘love’ that can be very damaging to relationships. Sometimes we create emotional attachments to future events and declare that “this is love.” Yet, it is impossible to love a future other – either you love a person, or you do not.
When people conjure up extensive images and stories about a future version of another person and attach their mental and emotional attention to these things, they often create a strong sense of painful longing, which creates within them the desire to change the other person.
It is this painful yearning that is the key to understanding, because with the Law of Attraction like always attracts like. Painful longing can only ever attract more pain. It does not even matter how compatible two souls are in this life, if one of them is participating in such a painful longing, then pain will inevitably become the result of the relationship.
Love is unconditional acceptance and there is only one love. Therefore, Buddhists believe one cannot have friends and enemies. If you have enemies then eventually all of your friends will become enemies, and vice versa.
Energy Protection For Children
I just did a phone reading for client who said she was feeling as if “the life force has been sucked” from her, after she received an unexpected call from a former work associate.
In hindsight, she says, this individual had always had this effect on her when they used to work together in the corporate field many years ago. She didn’t actually put two and two together at the time, but now she realizes that it was him who used to constantly drain her energy at work. At the time, she simply put it down to work stress and exhaustion.
She was surprised to realize that, even over the phone, certain individuals have that ability to drain us! We then discussed how she could even better protect herself psychically and shield her energy field from this former colleague and other energy thieves she may encounter in life.
An interesting aspect of energy protection and psychic shielding that is seldom considered is how children are affected by the people they connect with in life. Children are exposed to various social settings and energy environments that could be toxic and negatively affect their energetic well-being.
The veterinarian I rely on for my pets told me last week that he finds his work overwhelming at times. He feels it is due to the human owners of the pets, rather than the animals themselves.
At times, he says, he finds some pet owners really exhausting, as they bring both their anxieties about their pets, plus their own personal concerns with them. I could sense what kind of clients he had been dealing with to make him feel this way and believe me it was not a pretty sight!
He then asked me about his own two sons who are growing up now and how he could advise them to shield themselves in the future from the energy drain of people, and even social media. This made me think of the increasing number of clients who have been asking me the same question. How can I protect my child from people their energy, should they find themselves in a toxic environment?
Reach Out And Touch Someone’s Life Today
It has been nearly a full year since many countries started going into their first lockdowns due to the global pandemic. Some people have endured much suffering and loss, especially due to the passing of loved ones.
Some have also become ultra-stressed working on the front lines in healthcare facilities, nursing homes and many other essential services. Many have lost income, jobs and businesses. Many are facing mental health challenges. Many schools have been shuttered and teaching became virtual. Parents have been struggling to multi-task between working at home and entertaining or educating their kids.
Regardless of where we find ourselves on this stress continuum, it is important to try to find some order in all the chaos. Although it might be hard to reconcile with the state of the world as it is today, it is still vitally important to carve out a little time for self-care and putting yourself first.
Just a few brief minutes of deep breathing, visualization, meditation, reading uplifting books, journaling, or a perhaps the luxury of a quick walk outside to clear the cobwebs can all work wonders! Whatever is feasible on any given day, it is important that you create a little oasis of calm for yourself. Reduce the pressure of the day by showing yourself some love and respect first.
If you are in doubt as to where to start, you can begin by just focusing on some gratitude and appreciation. Despite all the loss and heartache many of us have suffered in recent months, there is always something for which we can be grateful. Whether it is something grandiose and eventful or small and precious only to our hearts, give thanks for whatever comes to mind.
Love can be a wonderful motivator. We often do things for the people we love, rather than doing those same things for ourselves. It can feel wonderful to see the reaction of our little ones, spouses, elders, colleagues, or neighbors when we say or do something special to surprise them or acknowledge them. That is all it takes to show some love, compassion, appreciation and friendship.