self-knowledge
Online Dating Is Seldom The Problem
How does one find that everlasting love so many of us seek? This is the big question. In today’s era of social media and online dating, romance is so very different from the old days, when one would more often meet someone through friends and relatives, or at work. I am not saying that oes not happen anymore, but chances are slim in a new era where more of us are working from home and studies reveal that more than half of adults are experiencing loneliness.
I believe nowadays most people are actually scared to enter the dating scene. Not only does it take one out of your comfort zone, but we have all heard horror stories of people who tried online dating and now feel they will never want to date again. Some people are also adamant that online dating simply does not work.
The truth is quite the opposite however, when one looks at research statistics. For example, in a 2019 study found that meeting online has become the most popular way for couples to connect in the United States.
A 2021 study estimated that about 323 million people worldwide were using dating apps and matchmaking sites to meet new people. A recent survey found that about one in every three people who use these platforms found someone to have a long-term relationship with, and at least 13% of online daters eventually get engaged or married because of using these platforms.
In my experience the dating apps and websites are not the reason why some people fail to meet the right person or have bad experiences with online dating. I have seen time and again in readings I do for clients all over the world that the key elements for dating success are self-love, self-worth, mental health and spiritual awareness.
The Truth About Ego And Spirit
Having a strong ego may be just as important as having a strong spirit. However, it can become a problem when we are confused or conflicted between the two, and do not realize that one is tied to the other.
Ego is all about our sense of self. It is about our self-worth, self-belief and how we feel we compare to others. Having a healthy sense of self-esteem is vital for our happiness and well-being.
For example, if someone chooses to stay in a toxic relationship due to their low self or sense of self is essential for our mental and emotional well-being. We must not confuse having a healthy ego with an over-inflated one.
People who have healthy egos do not think in terms of bold versus meek, or overbearing versus subdued. It is not about dominance or submission for them. They only view themselves as being worthy and competent, and strive to improve their life and become the best possible version of themselves. Self-love is not self-righteousness. People with a strong ego can confidently navigate whatever life throws their way without losing their sense of self.
However, those with an over-inflated, toxic ego tend to be arrogant, self-important and more concerned with how others are doing instead of their own achievements. They tend to believe they are so much more worthy and successful than everyone else, and constantly judge others for their mistakes and failures. Big egos are not very ‘healthy’ at all!
Also, when we strive for bigger or better things for ourselves, it is not only a case of satisfying our ego. Spirit operates with a similar agenda. Our soul or spirit is in fact strongly connected to our sense of self. This is why we traditionally say someone is in ‘low spirits,’ meaning they are feeling sad or depressed. But when someone is in ‘good spirits,’ they may have had happy news or some good fortune.
Being Your Strongest, Most Authentic Self
Many people tend to think that being vulnerable and open is a bad thing, because it makes them vulnerable to getting hurt in life and especially in relationships.
When someone disappoints or hurts us, whether deliberately or inadvertently, it is usually because they have deep wounds of their own that stems from their past, especially for their childhood. These unresolved traumas are often dormant and unconscious.
One might feel this is still no excuse to treat others poorly, or that they should know better. However, because these people typically have not done much inner work or self-healing to really know how to be in loving, happy, and functional relationships. I’m not condoning their bad behavior, but if they actually do not know any better, then how can one expect it from them?
I find people who are stuck in such patterns of hurting others are usually very much defensive and in denial. If you gently suggest what you may need from them, or bring up an aspect that the two of you could work on together to improve the relationship, they tend to instantly throw what you say back in your face and make it all about you. Suddenly, all of it is your fault.
This defensive behavior is a clear signal that this person has a lot of hurt, and is either fearful or unable to work through it. Therefore, if you bring up something that triggers their pain, they immediately see it as a threat. They feel attacked, or that they are being made a scapegoat.
The Year To Reimagine Your Career
In numerology the year 2023 is a universal year 7 (2 + 0 + 2 + 3 = 7). This energy represents a unique convergence of creativity and practicality, and spirituality and materialism. This year brings with it an introspective, creative, transformative energy that is very favorable for anyone seeking to start a meaningful new project or business, or transform their career. It is especially ideal for anyone wishing to pursue a creative or spiritual career.
The number 7 is a mystical, highly spiritual number. It can further also be broken down into 3 and 4, because it is a prime number. This makes it a combination of creative, optimistic, lucky number 3, and practical, solid, grounded number 4. It is an ideal energy for personal transformation, reinventing career goals and innovative business plans.
However, to fully benefit from this transformative energy, significant soul-searching and self-reflection will be necessary for us this year. A fine balance will have to be found between analysis and logic on the one hand, and intuition and imagination on the other. This will empower us to set clear, powerful professional goals and better prepare us to successfully put our plans into action in 2024.
Next year will be universal 8 year, which symbolizes the flow of energy. It will be a strong year for material wealth, success and personal power. Next year will be spectacular for money and finance, business achievement, and professional success.
To make the most of this opportunity we need to utilize the creative inspiration and energy of self-knowledge and personal reinvention that 2023 offer us now to prepare. If we thoroughly lay the groundwork this year, we will be able to fully take charge of our career or business in 2024.
Is Your History Repeating Itself?
Are you feeling stuck making all the wrong choices and decisions? Are you repeating the same make mistakes? A study at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences analyzed the processes that occur before the human brain makes a decision. In this study, participants were asked to press a button with their left, or right hand. They were able to do this at whatever moment they decided, however, they were asked to remember the specific time they recognized making their decision and to relay that information to the researchers.
By observing the participant’s brain scanner, it was discovered that the researchers knew the participant’s decision seven seconds before the participant knew, based on observing electrical signals within the participant’s brain. This is important information, because it validates how much our subconscious minds are making decisions without us fully being aware of the choices we are making.
Although this research is based on making immediate decisions, how often are you aware of where their decisions are being based upon? How can you know if you’re making a decision based on old thought patterns and habits, rather than based on higher, conscious awareness?
The philosopher George Santayana famously said, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” While this is true on a global scale, this is also true in our personal relationships. My interests in psychology and consciousness originated from observing my family, their unhealthy patterns, and observing the resulting choices I’ve made myself, in response to those patterns.
Explore Your Inner Shadows With Your Soul Light
To achieve true spiritual growth, happiness, and fulfillment it is necessary for us to unravel the shadows of our inner being. To know oneself is to recognize both your light and darkness, and to love and accept your entirety. The truly awakened person is not afraid to look at their own flaws, wounds, pain, trauma, and shortcomings. Awakened people boldly face their inner darkness and know themselves deeply.
The key to finding your authentic truth is to unbolt the door to one’s mysterious psychic basement. It’s the courage to honestly question how well your life is going, including the fulfilment of your passion and purpose, the success of your plans and projects, the health and happiness of your relationships and family, and the bravery of your dreams.
True spiritual growth is the search for truth beyond the surface. It is to boldly plunge the depths our being. It is to leap up to our highest peaks and crawl deep into our darkest corners. Because only once we have fully opened the doors of our interior, can we begin to affect change, growth and personal transformation.
By confronting our inner mysteries we acquire freedom, wisdom, and access to a new way of beingness. We become reborn, renewed, empowered. A conscious spiritual warrior in command of our powers, gifts, and capabilities.
But how to achieve this breakthrough? The first step is to welcome, embrace, accept, and cherish the scars and wounds. Then, we investigate its origins, to find the root of what has been influencing our life towards victimhood, self-limitation, self-sabotage, or repeated self-destruction.
Do You Have A Map For Your Love Journey?
In my experience as a psychic advisor everyone has a unique love journey. Love is a big question for many of my callers, yet the answers from spirit are never exactly the same.
Two of the recurring themes I often find in love and relationship readings are that people have a unique set of dealbreakers, as well as personal love languages. And when these differing needs, wants and expectations are mismatched in a love connection it leads to much disappointment, frustration, heartbreak, and even abuse.
If you have been struggling in the romance department, a good place to start improving your chances of finding or building a lasting love connection is to become more self-aware and conscious of your actual expectations. I find many people lack clarity on this and therefore tend to figure it out by trial and error, which is seldom the best approach.
The first step is to figure out what your love language is. How do you expect to me treated by your partner? How should they ideally behave towards you in your relationship dynamic? If we do not know what love behavior we need from a partner, we are also not able to clearly ask for it. And if we do not ask for what we want and need, we are unlikely to receive it.
For example, some people need lots of verbal affirmation in a relationship, while others value physical touch, or receiving gifts, or acts of kindness, or intellectual stimulation, or emotional support. Some simply require quality time, sharing interests, or having their partner’s full attention from time to time. What is your love language? Continue reading