relationship
Setting Healthy Boundaries With Toxic People
I have often wondered why so many of us tolerate unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes very dysfunctional relationships with relatives and friends. Too many of us endure the toxic dynamics in our families and friendships, putting up with being the scapegoat, emotional punching bag, financial provider, free therapist, or nanny.
Why is it that many of us tend to keep giving the people in our lives second chances and multiple opportunities to learn and grow, hoping that they will somehow become more considerate, loving, and compassionate?
Meanwhile, we ignore their nasty words, spiteful behaviors, and toxic exchanges. We remain kind, tolerant, and patient. We try to help them lighten up, or connect on a deeper, more caring level. We hope that maybe someday everyone will be happier together and enjoy sharing more love and belonging, instead of dysfunction and drama.
But as the years go by, they continue to disappoint, abuse, and betray us. The loving kindness and mutual support never comes. Try as we might in these toxic situations, the people we love and care about will continue to talk down to us or try to make us feel that we are not good enough. These complicated family and friendship situations can eventually cost us our physical and mental health, our financial security, and our personal accomplishments.
I find this to often be the case with my clients who are gifted, empathic, highly sensitive, and spiritually aware. Some even consider it their purpose or calling in this lifetime. However, while being a wounded healer or earth angel is certainly a noble calling, being a scapegoat or doormat is definitely not! God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants us to be happy, healthy and safe, and to live our best life.
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.
Free Yourself From An Unhealthy Relationship
An intimate relationship or marriage is meant to be a safe space. Your partner or spouse is supposed to be the closest person in your life. They should be the one person you are able to trust unconditionally with the most important aspects of your life.
If you are currently in a challenging relationship, you need to ask yourself if this union has all the key traits for a healthy, happy relationship. Do you feel secure, safe, and supported? More importantly, do you feel loved and valued?
If not, are you hoping it will somehow work eventually, and develop into something that will offer you more of what you need and deserve?
These are vital questions to ask yourself, not only before you commit to someone, but also throughout the relationship. All relationships evolve over time as people change and grow.
Just because everything was great during the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase of a relationship, does not guarantee it will remain that way. A healthy relationship continues to grow and evolve, as both partners grown and evolve.
I have worked with many clients over the years who settled for less, or got caught up in the downward spiral of a dysfunctional, toxic relationship. Saying “I love you” does not mean much if it is not backed up by matching actions and behavior.
Seven Powerful Ways To Attract True Love
For the metaphysically aware single person there are powerful, tried-and-tested ways to create, attract and manifest romantic love. Many of my clients have attracted their life mate using these techniques, and it has also helped some of my single friends to find love and romance.
The following are ways to open up and allow your heart to connect with someone who is your vibrational love match.
Alignment. First, you need to understand that we cannot attract anyone or anything into our life unless we are on the same frequency with that person or thing. We need to align our energy vibration with that which we are hoping to attract. Attuning ourselves to what we feel worthy of manifesting is key.
Higher Vibration. We also need to raise our vibration to a level of consciousness where we are consistently in greater alignment with the energies of unconditional love, compassion, kindness, tolerance, patience, gratitude, peace and joy. Why? Because true, long-lasting love of the ‘soulmate’ variety is found in these higher realms of vibration.
Non-Resistance. An important ingredient is to not create resistance by being too intensely attached to the outcome. If we put too much focus or emphasis on our intentions and goals, we create resistance. God, Source, Spirit, the Divine wants all of us to experience happiness and fulfillment, and live our best life. But if we want something too badly, we delay or deflect it from coming into our life. Being overly attached creates self-defeating energy roadblocks.
Healing A Broken Heart
One of the hardest things that we will ever have to do is recover from a broken heart after a relationship break-up. We don’t want to be without the person we love; it hurts to say their name, or to think about them. And sometimes it is hard to even breathe.
When a relationship fails we need to grieve and heal. This is a time to be around people who care about us. The worst thing that we can do is to harden our hearts and build a wall that no one can touch. All that this will do is stop us from growing and learning more about ourselves – to know who we are and learning how to love ourselves again.
We are not to give up on future relationships, because that will not serve us in the long run. We need to be able to feel again, but it takes time. Everyone has to go through their own grieving process because no one really knows just how much you are really hurting. With time you will get there.
So many times we think that the love that we have found is real and everlasting, but true love does not lie, or cheat, or make you feel unwanted. True love makes us feel secure, not insecure.
Sure, we have to work at a good relationship, but when it becomes too much of a tug-and-pull, we have to listen to our gut feelings. Trust your inner guidance and hear what spirit is trying to tell you.
I do not think anything hurts more than being disappointed by the person that you thought would never hurt you. When you are ready to start again, make the decision that you are going to move on, that its time.
The Twin Flame Relationship
The concept of a twin flame relationship has gained much popularity in recent years, as more people seek to understand the nature of their romantic relationships.
Twin flames, also known as ‘mirror souls’ or ‘karmic lovers,’ are essentially two halves of one soul. Our twin flame is therefore the other half of our original soul that has been split into two different bodies in this lifetime.
Twin flames share a deep spiritual bond that goes beyond physical attraction or emotional connection. Our twin flame is our perfect counterpart, and once we are reunited with them, we experience the ultimate expression of divine love and spiritual connection.
A twin flame is however not exactly the same as a soulmate. While soulmates are also souls with whom we have meaningful spiritual or karmic connections, we only have one twin flame with whom we are connected on a much deeper level. Soulmates are therefore distinct souls that are separate from us, while we share the same soul with our twin flame.
This soul bond is said to be unbreakable and eternal over many lifetimes and in other dimensions. Twin flames are destined to fulfill a higher purpose together and to help each other grow spiritually.
Recognizing your twin flame can be difficult, as it is not always obvious initially. Twin flame relationships are characterized by intense attraction that goes beyond mere physical attraction, as well as a deep sense of familiarity and a feeling of finally being ‘home’ when together. There is usually an indescribable feeling of completeness or wholeness.
Karmic Healing Inspired By Our Ancestors
I recently completed a pharmacy volunteer assignment at the American Red Cross. On my final shift, one of the phlebotomists gave me a T-shirt as a parting gift. It is printed with the slogan: Be Cool. Give Blood.
That T-shirt turned out to be a sign from spirit! It synchronistically brought up memories of one of my favorite mentors, and prompted a thought process regarding the role of our ancestors in karmic healing, and our soul family contracts, at a moment in time that I most needed it and found deeply meaningful.
In pharmacy school, I had an eccentric professor who used unconventional teaching methods and famously wore Snoopy™ and Joe Cool™ apparel to class. To us he was much like the character John Keating or “Captain” in the popular film Dead Poets Society (1989). As pharmacy students we usually attended mostly stodgy scientific lectures, therefore we simply loved his unconventional, fun approach!
I distinctly remember one of the topics we discussed in his curriculum was ‘empathy in healthcare.’ Little did I realize at the time how his teachings would someday inspire me in my work as psychic advisor.
In 1994, on the first day of our social and administrative classes, our beloved professor was tragically diagnosed with colon cancer. He passed away seven years later in 2001.