personal growth
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.
Follow Your Passion And Truth
In Native American tradition, human existence and well-being is based on the Medicine Wheel, also known as the Sacred Hoop, that consists of the Four Directions, Father Sky, Mother Earth, and the Spirit Tree. Together these ‘spokes’ of the wheel honor all aspects of human existence, growth, balance, and well-being: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
In each lifetime, we are destined to achieve progress in one or more of these areas until, finally, after many incarnations, all the ‘spokes’ of our wheel are complete – all the way from the inner hub to the outer rim. At that point, we have completed our various missions through many incarnations in a myriad of schoolrooms, and we finally achieve ascended mastery.
When all our spokes are complete, we leave this dense, earthly dimension and arrive at the highest plane of existence, the realm of the Great Spirit, traditionally known as the ‘Hunting Grounds of the Ancestors,’ and since the arrival of Christianity, as ‘Heaven.’
In this state we never need to descend again, and will remain infinitely in the higher dimension. We are liberated from the endless cycle of rebirth and reach a new level of consciousness and enlightened existence, known as nirvana in Buddhism, moksha in Hindusim, and eternal life in Christianity.
As a result, from a spiritual stand-point, we are offered a smorgasbord of options and choices that we may need for our particular journey in this lifetime. The enthusiasm and passion we feel when we are guided to a particular path is spirit directing us toward the ‘curriculum’ we need to complete in order to achieve our ultimate goal of transcendence in one or more spokes of our wheel.
Free Yourself From An Unhealthy Relationship
An intimate relationship or marriage is meant to be a safe space. Your partner or spouse is supposed to be the closest person in your life. They should be the one person you are able to trust unconditionally with the most important aspects of your life.
If you are currently in a challenging relationship, you need to ask yourself if this union has all the key traits for a healthy, happy relationship. Do you feel secure, safe, and supported? More importantly, do you feel loved and valued?
If not, are you hoping it will somehow work eventually, and develop into something that will offer you more of what you need and deserve?
These are vital questions to ask yourself, not only before you commit to someone, but also throughout the relationship. All relationships evolve over time as people change and grow.
Just because everything was great during the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase of a relationship, does not guarantee it will remain that way. A healthy relationship continues to grow and evolve, as both partners grown and evolve.
I have worked with many clients over the years who settled for less, or got caught up in the downward spiral of a dysfunctional, toxic relationship. Saying “I love you” does not mean much if it is not backed up by matching actions and behavior.
The True Meaning Of Judgment
Judgment is card 20 in the Tarot’s Major Arcana. Arcana means “hidden things, mysteries,” from the Latin arcanum meaning “a secret, a mystery” and arcanus meaning “secret, hidden, private, concealed.” Arcana are therefore “pieces of mysterious knowledge or information.”
In a standard Tarot deck, there are 21 Major Arcana cards. They define The Fool’s journey (the first card) through life and all of the life lessons we encounter along the way. As one of the final stages in The Fool’s journey, the Judgment card represents having learned sufficient lessons to now awaken from the illusion and limited perceptions.
The most well-known tarot deck is the Rider–Waite. Pamela Coleman Smith, aka “Pixie,” was a British artist who illustrated the deck. She deserves much credit for the brilliant way she captured advanced spiritual concepts in the deck’s artwork.
The Rider–Waite Judgment card depicts three resurrected figures, a woman, man, and child, reaching up to an Archangel overhead blowing a trumpet as a wake-up call. The scene is based on Christian imagery representing the Resurrection and Last Judgment. The flag of St. George hangs from the trumpet, which references 1 Corinthians 15 in The Bible.
The Judgment card reminds us that no matter what our background may be, we can rise up and transcend any trauma or adversity in life, regardless how challenging the situation. We also have the power to see through the illusion of life and wake up to the truth.
Transform Your Life One Step At A Time
Knowing when to make that much needed change in your life can be daunting and very confusing. We often feel this need for change when we already have a lot going on. We tend to also overthink things and then feel overwhelmed, or even paralyzed with anxiety or fear.
Once you get into this kind of ‘stuck’ pattern, nothing seems to get done or resolved. No choices or decisions are made. In turn, this causes even more unhappiness, distress, and turmoil in your life. We all have a tendency to get in our own way.
Over the years of working with many clients in this situation, spirit has always made one thing very clear: it always starts with a firm choice or decision. You don’t have to act on it immediately, but it instantly begins to shift your energy in a new direction, or towards a long-term solution.
Indecision, fear, or lack of commitment to a clear vision for the future is first and foremost what keeps many people stuck indefinitely in the stagnant energy loop of an unhappy, unfulfilled life.
Once you have made up your mind about what you intend to achieve or which direction you wish to go, you gain more clarity and become calmer and more grounded to start taking baby steps forward. Then you can begin to resolve the situation one step at a time with spirit’s support.
To get started consider a simple, step-by-step approach to make break the process down into smaller steps that will be less overwhelming and more attainable.
Frog’s Wisdom To Adapt To Change
I must admit, when I initially discovered that my spirit animal is the frog, my ego took somewhat of a dive! The frog is such a small, insignificant creature that is mostly overlooked, and certainly not the most attractive of species.
In had secretly hoped my totem animal might be a majestic, powerful animal that commands attention and is admired, even adored. But here was the tiny frog, my spirit guide.
However, once I uncovered some of the spiritual symbolism of this amazing little being, I soon grew to embrace its guiding presence in my life. Frog has in fact been teaching me much about myself, my path, and my place in the world.
The magnificent little frog’s most prominent attribute is its ability to adapt and transform. Frogs are all about change and new beginnings. They are also associated with purification, rebirth, and welcoming luck and abundance into your life. Frog is therefore the ideal power animal for anyone going through major changes in their life.
In my case, it was the opposite. Over the years, I had gradually developed a worldview that was somewhat stringent, restrained, and resistant to change. My inability to communicate with grace and clarity further complicated this outlook by causing me to become frustrated, and sometimes even angry and resentful.
The fact that I chose to perceive life in a self-limiting way was not apparent to me, until frog showed up. But with frog’s inspiration the realization started to sink in that it was not that the world was not kind, patient and accommodating towards me, but instead that I was creating resistance and that my needs and expectations were not always clearly expressed to others.
Healing A Broken Heart
One of the hardest things that we will ever have to do is recover from a broken heart after a relationship break-up. We don’t want to be without the person we love; it hurts to say their name, or to think about them. And sometimes it is hard to even breathe.
When a relationship fails we need to grieve and heal. This is a time to be around people who care about us. The worst thing that we can do is to harden our hearts and build a wall that no one can touch. All that this will do is stop us from growing and learning more about ourselves – to know who we are and learning how to love ourselves again.
We are not to give up on future relationships, because that will not serve us in the long run. We need to be able to feel again, but it takes time. Everyone has to go through their own grieving process because no one really knows just how much you are really hurting. With time you will get there.
So many times we think that the love that we have found is real and everlasting, but true love does not lie, or cheat, or make you feel unwanted. True love makes us feel secure, not insecure.
Sure, we have to work at a good relationship, but when it becomes too much of a tug-and-pull, we have to listen to our gut feelings. Trust your inner guidance and hear what spirit is trying to tell you.
I do not think anything hurts more than being disappointed by the person that you thought would never hurt you. When you are ready to start again, make the decision that you are going to move on, that its time.