parenting
Left Holding The Bag
One of my clients recently said, “I’m the one left holding the bag.” Have you ever been ‘left holding the bag?’ This is when you are put in a situation where you are unfairly held responsible, because other people fail or refuse to take responsibility.
The expression “left holding the bag” originated in 18th-century Britain, but at the time it referred to a person being caught with stolen goods, while the rest of their criminal gang escape responsibility.
Many of us are left holding the bag at some point in our life. This is especially true for empaths, healers and highly sensitive people. They are often the scapegoat in their family, or the friend who is taken advantage of, or the coworker who has to pick up the pieces when others neglect their duties.
The solution for this is often found in spiritual self-empowerment, inner child healing, energy shielding, or simply the setting of boundaries. These are challenges I often assist clients with.
A client was about to purchase a bed and breakfast establishment with the support of an investor. When the day came to sign the papers, the investor decided it was just too much to deal with at the time. This left my client ‘holding the bag,’ having to find a new investor.
Another client was abandoned by her siblings when their mother’s mental and physical health suddenly began to deteriorate, and she was left to her own devices having to care for her mom with no assstance or support from the rest of the family.
Judgment Limits Your Soul Growth
So, let’s try a different attitude just for today – just so we can experience what it’s like to exist on a higher spiritual frequency and how good it feels to be connected to God, Source, Spirit, Higher Intelligence, the Divine.
To help bring yourself into spiritual alignment and to be a healthier, happier human being, mentally, psychically and spiritually, simply let go of analyzing and evaluating others. The only reason we do this is usually because we are trying to cover up the misalignments in our own life.
When we constantly criticize and judge ourselves and others, we are essentially keeping ourselves trapped in a life on low, shallow energy altitudes. Hence we hinder our soul from achieving wonderful growth.
Some of the unhealthiest, most miserable people I know tend to always judge. They constantly feel the need to analyze and pass judgment on others, and what is worse they often judge themselves much more severely! I mean, if you can’t see it in their aura, you can definitely see it in their face. The eyes are indeed the windows to the soul.
When we have sincere faith in a higher power we simply do not feel the need to constantly judge ourselves and others. When we judge others we only hurt and limit ourselves. Judgment, intolerance and fear hinder our soul growth. So, just for today try a less judgmental attitude. You just might like it! You may even find it’s better to live this way every single day for the rest of your lifetime.
Life is simply too short and precious to spend it indulging in so much judgment and negativity. So, stop blocking yourself from being the best version of you. Do not analyze and evaluate yourself and leave others in peace to deal with their own karma.
The Wisdom Of The Cuckoo
Over the past year, I have become fascinated with birds, particularly thrushes. They are small to medium-sized ground birds that feed mostly on insects and fruit. My interest began with the American robin, but soon branched out to other thrushes worldwide, such as the fieldfare, the Eurasian blackbird, and olive thrush of Southern Africa.
One peculiar species I accidentally stumbled upon is the well-known, and also notorious cuckoo. Apart from being famous as the key feature in ornate wooden clocks from Germany, the cuckoo is also infamous for being a ‘parasitic’ bird that lays its eggs in other birds’ nests.
Yes, the cuckoo does not raise its own young. Instead, it takes advantage of other bird parents by laying in their nests. Once the egg hatches, the cuckoo chick attempts to push the other bird species’ eggs out of their nest, thus monopolizing the surrogate parents’ energy. The cuckoo chick typically also grows much bigger than the natural offspring of its adopted parents.
Watching some videos of cuckoos online, I became aware of many negative comments on YouTube about these amazing birds. Many folks apparently choose to regard the cuckoo as a devious villain of the natural world. However, I don’t see it that way at all.
Being a co-parent myself, who had to depend on my ex-husband to provide much of the care for my two children when they were younger, due to my personal health challenges after a near-death experience (NDE), I feel empathy for the cuckoo’s eccentricity and the unusual value it brings to the animal kingdom.
Control Is The Opposite of Love
I have learned that communication glitches and other side-effects of a Mercury retrograde can actually offer us valuable life lessons if we choose to pay attention.
For example, during the recent retrograde my daughter suffered a migraine on a day she was supposed to visit me. I decided not to pick her up, because she said she was not feeling strong enough. She is prediabetic and I pray and light candles for her daily.
So, I texted her a get-well soon message along with an animated chicken soup meme. Feeling worried about her, I checked in periodically throughout the day see if she had received her ‘virtual chicken soup.’ But the message read receipt only showed ‘delivered.’ No read receipt.
The next day, the text message suddenly showed it had been ‘read,’ but it had the previous afternoon’s timestamp? I noticed a similar phenomenon when co-parenting communication with my daughter’s father also suddenly failed repeatedly and produced delayed read receipts.
Instead of becoming frustrated about it, I contemplated the matter and came to an enlightening conclusion. Spirit clearly said to me, “The need for control is the opposite of love’s vibration.”
This is so very true. Controlling energy is toxic energy. It was a gentle reminder that I need to keep working on releasing my desire to try and be in perfect control of everything in my life at all times.
When we constantly feel the need to control every aspect of our day, rather than letting the energies of universal love, joy and abundance flow freely in our life, we block our blessings and personal growth.
Helping Children Navigate Divorce
When parents get divorced it is always difficult for the entire family. Navigating through this time is usually challenging. There is also no manual or guidebook for how to do things the right way, so parents have to figure it out as they go.
Same with the children. It can be very scary for them not knowing what to expect and sometimes feeling obligated to take sides. It can be a very sad, stressful time for children, especially when parents are so caught up in their disputes and drama that they lose sight of what is best for their kids. The kids are not the ones getting the divorce.
However, I believe most parents really do try to do their best to soften the blow and make it work for everyone involved.
Children tend to want to please their parents and not cause further upset. So, tend to not speak up. They sometimes suppress their feelings of hurt, resentment or fear. Sometime children feel like they need to choose one parent over another.
Everyone needs to feel they are being heard and their needs considered. It is therefore best to listen to all sides before making decisions. Going through this process can be tricky. You do not want your child to feel neglected or abandoned in the process.
Understanding your children’s needs and feelings, and dealing with it, is the first step into helping your child get through it with the least amount of trauma. If a parent finds this difficult to ascertain, then it is wise for them to get some professional help and guidance.
Putting Yourself In Time-Out Can Be A Blessing!
When children and teenagers do something that really ticks off their parents, what do they get? Well, they get grounded, or put in time-out, of course! That’s right, kids are given an opportunity to think about the errors of their ways, learn from their mistakes and protect them from their own bad choices.
I remember one day, when I was still a teenager and I was really, really wanting to go out with a frien. She knew a cute boy who just got his own car. They were going to go cruising down this stretch of road that was popular with the local cool kids. I wanted to go so badly, but I got grounded and I was really upset.
But strangely, I also somehow felt relieved that I couldn’t go that day. I sensed that something bad might happen if I did. My mother told me the next day that the boy was tragically killed in an accident with his new car. I would have been with him in the car that night, had I gone out with them. I was only 15 years old at the time, and my life would have been over, or forever changed. I was so glad that my mother grounded me for my own good and that I was still healthy and alive.
I can think of a few times I experienced divine intervention in this way. Since that day there have been several times in my life that I intuitively decided to say no to opportunities, invitations, and even temptations. There are in fact occasions noted in personal journals when I had opted to do something else than was in the offering by way of friends or acquaintances. Later it would become clear that I probably would not have enjoyed myself very much anyway, or I may not have even lived to tell the tale!
Many times, by simply paying attention to the little voice within that says to me, “Get up and leave now,” or acknowledging my negative feelings regarding a certain person, place or situation, I have avoided much trouble in my life.