habits
How Sticky Notes Can Change Your Life
We live in a world where we are bombarded with negativity every day. Whether it comes from social media or the mainstream news, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning in a sea of negative information and fear-based messages. And the more we are exposed to all this negative input, the more we internalize it, until it becomes part of our self-talk and general state of mind.
Fortunately, the solution to some of life’s most complex challenges can often be found in the most mundane. Enter the simple sticky note! By writing down simple, positive affirmations or slogans on a bunch of sticky notes, and placing them anywhere you will see them frequently, you can significantly change your inner dialogue from constant negativity and nay-saying to one of possibility, hope and optimism.
Choose simple, short affirmations that resonate with who you are, and what you truly want in life. Whether it’s something like, “I am worthy,” or “Love surrounds me,” or even, “I will get that dream job,” it will inspire you to change the narrative and negative self-talk each time you read one of these short statements out loud.
This technique always reminds me of the famous opening scene of the television cartoon, The Simpsons, with Bart Simpson writing a phrase over and over on the chalkboard. There’s actually some method in the madness of this old-fashioned way of disciplining schoolkids. When our brain repeats a word or phrase over and over again, new neural pathways are created with new associations. Saying something once or twice only, we’re just as likely to forget it. But if it’s something we repeat many times, our brain will literally change over time, and so will our patterns of thought, feeling and action.
It’s been shown that establishing a new habit, or making new behavior automatic, takes on average about two months. Try placing your sticky notes in those places you spend most of your time every day: in your workspace, your car, on the bathroom mirror, the kitchen refrigerator, or on your bedside table. The more you see (and repeat) the words written on them, the more you will start to transform your thinking.
Overcoming Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
You’ve probably heard this before. I talk about this all the time. But the concept is one that has had such a huge impact on my life, I just have to share it! You are not your thoughts, or your feelings. You are the soul or spirit who has the ability to observe and experience your thoughts and feelings.
When I made this realization, I had already been working for years on my tendency to be very critical with my inner dialogue. But only when I paid attention to it from a spiritual perspective, did I realize how harsh I had really been on myself.
Our minds are constantly full of inner chatter which, when left unattended, can become a toxic breeding ground for fear, self-judgment and limiting belief patterns. Once I realized I was separate from my thoughts and feelings as a spiritual being, I began to observe them more objectively.
As a natural consequence of this, I found myself asking some really compelling questions. What was I believing about these thoughts? What kind of emotions are these thoughts bringing up? This kind of self-reflection opens a conversation with your heart, your soul, your higher self.
Your mind is designed to keep you safe. This too often means keeping you confined within your comfort zones and self-limiting beliefs. Your heart and soul, on the other hand, want you to grow and expand. The higher self wants you to learn, and play, and, and explore, and experience as much as possible in this lifetime.
Multi-Tasking Does Not Cultivate A Quality Life
I’m sure there has been a time in your life when you may have been too active on a hot summer, day without adequately hydrating, or juggling far too many tasks at once without taking a break. While you may have crossed the finish line, or pleased your boss by checking off all the tasks you completed, your sense of well-being was probably rock bottom, and your nerves frazzled. You possibly also questioned whether or not the best version of yourself showed up for life the next day.
Although many of us have found ways to multi-task our hectic lives, research is increasingly showing that effective multi-tasking is in fact a myth. Working on multiple projects at once doesn’t necessarily make us high achievers, or a successful super humans. Multitasking for most individuals merely replaces quality with quantity, and often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from our deeper purpose.
As a spiritualist, I make it a practice not to judge how others achieve their everyday objectives and goals. But I do counsel many people who seem to have traded quantity for quality in their lives, and are missing out on the gift of savoring the sweet taste of personal achievement that is purposely focused and uninterrupted.
While old habits are tough to break, each of us has the innate capacity to build new processes within our mind. Psychological tools, such as Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) for example, can be used to re-program the mind to think differently.
Metaphysics and New Thought spirituality also teaches that through positive thinking we can manifest healthier outcomes in all areas of our lives. Many indigenous peoples also have a long tradition of spiritual practices, such as vision quests, dream interpretation, divination, and rituals and ceremonies, to help seekers find their best path.
Meditation Is For Everyone
Meditation can easily be a part of your daily life. It is a simple spiritual practice. What is difficult is to change one’s habits.
There are many variants of meditation, some of which you probably know and may have tried. If so, you may have discovered that the difficulties many of us face, when attempting to adopt meditation as a spiritual practice, are usually not related to the meditation itself. More often we are ‘fighting’ with our own minds. We are competing within, for the control, or the freedom of our mind.
Our enemies in this context are short-term rewards: leisure activities, such as watching TV, browsing social media, snacking, or anything that helps our neurons remain lazy. In these activities, attention is scattered and unfocused.
The mind thus learns to be ‘random.’ One could compare this state of mind to the behavior of a wild monkey. This restlessness has no practical purpose – it is just ‘noise.’ And it is happening all the time. We may feel we are actually doing something, but we are just passing the time.
Meditation puts a stop to this unnecessary mental activity. Although in meditation, one does not actively seek to stop thinking, one tries to generate the conditions in which thought is reduced, and the mind now merely observes whatever is happening: an idea, a feeling, a sensation. It is all just observed.
No More Procrastination
Do you also procrastinate? Procrastination is the avoidance of doing a task that needs to be accomplished by a certain deadline. Or do you sometimes intentionally delay the completion of a task, despite knowing it might have negative consequences? Ninety five percent of people procrastinate at some point in life.
To break the habit of procrastination we must find some self-compassion when a task at hand causes us stress just thinking about tackling it. Some tasks just seem too big or overwhelming, and we can’t seem to motivate ourselves to get it done.
Procrastination makes most people feel guilt and shame. For some extreme procrastinators, negative feelings may trigger another reason not to complete a task. Only to become a vicious cycle of self-defeat. Most procrastinators tend to put off endings, as well as beginnings and commitments.
I have a close friend that has all kinds of ideas for a book she is writing. While collecting material, she put of starting the actual writing for three years. She felt she needed several points of view about the subject matter. She always needed one more.
Now, 13 years later, she can’t seem to stop writing the same book. The idea of being an author just feels so good to her now. The added benefit of this is that whenever she is asked what she has been up to, she loves to say, “I’m writing a book.”.
Listen To Your Guides And Angels
When life frustrates you, when people anger you, or the world puts you in a state of fear, stress or worry, take a few minutes to sit quiet and ask your guides and angels to take the weight off your shoulders. Ask them to bring you calm and to just simply let you know that it will be okay.
Your angels and guides are with you each and every day. They speak to you in the pit of your stomach, your gut feelings, your ‘intuition spot.’ Feel their presence around you and inside of you. Feel them tell you that they are surrounding you with white light and love.
Your spirit guides and angels aim to help, never to hinder. They are there to love you and keep your soul filled with loving energy. Feel them tell you that they are filling you with their overwhelming love and peace. And then simply allow them to relieve the negativity that is keeping you stuck.
I’m sure they shake their heads once in a while, and go ‘what the heck!’ But they do not judge you. Your guides and angels never chastise you. Only you tend to judge yourself, so allow that part of you to go as well. You are only to love yourself unconditionally, just as your guides and angels do. You are perfectly perfect as you are. This is a phrase I use often when talking to my clients. Your angels see you as perfect, so why can’t you?
You are always in a state of transition and growth. It is what makes us human and different from other species. A bird simply knows how to build a nest, lay eggs, hatch them. And when their offspring eventually leave the nest, they instinctively go and repeat the process all over again. They do not worry for anything. If they are hungry, they grab a worm out of the ground or a seed from a plant. If it is raining, they simply hunker down in a bush or tree. It is an inborn response.
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!