friendship
Never Allow Regret To Hold You Back
Recently, I attended a celebration of life gathering held in memory of a friend who died under tragic circumstances. He was an incredible energy healer, and also exquisitely crafted Native American flutes and drums. We had been friends for decades, but over the years we saw less and less of each other. The relationship between us was, however, a matter of ‘out of sight, out of mind.’
Our individual schedules were such that life eventually got in the way. There was however an unmistakable mutual respect and heart-centered connection between us facilitated by Spirit whenever we did meet. We would offer each other guidance, support, and fresh perspectives in those special moments.
My friend and his wife met about two decades ago at a spiritual event and eventually became an incredible spiritual team. Before they met, I remember his future wife asking me to swap readings with her.
“Sure, why not?” I said, although I was actually quite nervous and still new to doing readings on a ‘professional basis.’
When I read for her, the information that came through included various confirmations regarding her spiritual work, including her music, becoming an author, teaching, and her increased spirit connection. Last, but not least, there was also the indication of a potential romantic relationship, including a timeframe for approximately when this might unfold. Soon after, the two of them met. Over the years, it was great to see their relationship blossom and thrive. They truly became partners in life, love, and business.
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!
True Love Is Never-Ending
I love you. I love you, and you, and you! No matter what happened yesterday. No matter what was said, what was done, how we hurt one another, I still love you.
Three simple words. Really, love shouldn’t be so hard. Since my childhood my goal in life was always to show love. Before money, before “common sense”, before logical reasoning of life, my heart always took the lead. Believe me, this trait has led to much criticism over the years. Many people have considered me eccentric, crazy, even downright stupid. Yet, throughout the years, I learned to like myself and to accept others.
Perhaps I’m not the wealthiest woman in the world, with diamonds dripping off my neck. Perhaps I give away more than I keep. Yet, each night I go to sleep soundly, liking who I am. I can dance in the moonlight with the fairies under the kisses of Venus, with Lady Moon shining her soft glowing light through the country rural trees, the shadows of leaving dancing around creating the sense of those long gone flitting in and out of the corners of our eyes.
The answer is love.
Today is a new day, where spirit sends to me more people to love. It’s just that easy. I simply let the problems and failed actions of yesterday go, remembering the lessons I had to learn in how to treat others. We are all human who make mistakes in how we express ourselves, in how we react, but we can always choose restore the love. All we need is unconditional love, and forgiveness.
For many of us there is the constant hope of one day meeting a life partner who ‘gets’ us, with all our flaws, all our doubts, all our insecurities. This task of finding just the right one is not easy. Some seek advice from us seers, who give answers, but sometimes the bottom falls out. One of us, or both of us do something really stupid, and the love ends. This is what we believe. But love doesn’t end.
Quick Ways To Pick Yourself Up
We all have bad days. We get disappointing news or have an unpleasant interaction with someone. We all encounter setbacks and dark moments from time to time, as we journey through physical life. It’s part of the human experience.
These negative events may seem unfortunate, or even unnecessary when they occur, but they actually serve to create balance in our life. Without these contrasts we would never appreciate all the good things.
The important thing, however, is to not dwell on the negativity or misery, but to bounce back into alignment with our truth and the abundance and healing power of Spirit as soon as possible.
Some of my favorite ways to quickly pick myself up when I am feeling down include:
Inspirational Words
I love Unity Church’s Daily Word for this. I carry it around with me in my purse for just such occasions. You can also get it as an app for a smartphone. The short, daily reminders feature uplifting affirmations and a brief paragraph or two of inspirational writing on the theme for the day. I always find that they contain just what I needed to hear at that moment to help me gain a new, more positive outlook.
The True Power Of Words
What if a change as simple as the words you use could vastly improve your relationships with loved ones? And not just your choice of words, but also the tone and delivery. Healthy, successful relationships require constructive communication and often our relationships fail on our words alone.
Many people fall in love over time purely through conversations they have with each other. Relationships are usually ended with words alone, especially these days when getting unceremoniously dumped via text message is becoming increasingly common. Our choice of words and how we communicate them can evoke waves of joy and happiness, or they can cut like a knife.
We tend to take for granted the people in our lives. We become lazy and complacent and forget to express our gratitude and appreciation for the relationships we have with loved ones. It is vitally important that we adopt better, more spiritual ways to communicate with people who matter to us.
Have you ever stopped to think about the words you use with your loved ones? You most likely speak somewhat differently to total strangers. Or your choice of words is no longer what they used to when you were in love and the relationship was brand new. And how about the words we use when we talk to our children; are we uplifting and encouraging them, or causing them lifelong trauma?
Too often we say things we later wish we can take back. But if we always aim to think before we speak, and seek to choose the very best words, tone, and delivery, then we are much more likely to build the kind of relationships we desire and deserve.
Less Is More When They ‘Know It All’
Some people just don’t like to hear the truth. Do you also know people who seem to avoid you, because they know you’re potentially going to say it like it is? They recognize you as a person who speaks the truth based on plain common sense.
I have known people who have very little common sense and really do not want help, advice, guidance or direction from anyone. They know it all. That is just the way it is with them. The ego can make us not want to take honest advice, and thus we do not have the advantage of learning and growing with help from others who may have more experience or wisdom. I have learned the fine art of silence when I am around these people. I feel awkward, because those who know what I do for a living realize that they are pretty much transparent in my eyes, when they are around me.
I especially have a very hard time when I am around certain people, because you see the damage they are doing to themselves and others. You want to share a better way with them, but you have to let them follow their own path. It may seem like an unnecessary struggle for them, but maybe they are supposed to go through all that pain and heartache. It may be a part of their unique spiritual journey towards soul growth.
Protect your energy by knowing when to practice the art of silence with people who ‘know it all.’ You can’t resonate with everyone, and it is especially pointless if they don’t appreciate it. Why use up all that precious energy if they are only going to be disrespectful?
Laughter Is A Spiritual Superpower
I believe there are energies on this planet that feed off lower vibrations caused by fear, anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy, perversion, and hate. The more time we spend in such lower frequencies, the more we will attract even more of those negative energies.
On the opposite end of the energy spectrum, there is joy, love, forgiveness, light , positive thinking, and laughter that keep us in a higher vibration. Laughter is in fact one of the most powerful ways to raise our energy vibration. It even helps to heal our physical body and keeps our mind clear and our thoughts positive. It can be like a life raft that keeps us sane in a somewhat crazy world.
A sure sign that someone is going over to the ‘dark side,’ is when they lose their sense of humor. I’ve had friends who used to have a great sense of humor, until they were sucked into a dark mental state, some of them also using alcohol or drugs to self-medicate (which dramatically lowers our vibration). It’s quite alarming to witness the profound change in them. No more joking or upbeat banter. No more laughter. Not even a smile. Nothing.
I have a long-time friend who lately shows a complete lack of emotional connection. The first time I noticed this change with her was when realized she had stopped making jokes. She also stopped laughing at my jokes.
Throughout our friendship we have always relied on our like-minded sense of humor to deal with life’s challenges. We had used our sense of humor to manage the ridiculousness in life, and even our own dysfunctional behavior. Nothing is healthier than to be able to laugh at yourself!
But then she started losing empathy and interest in others. She increasingly became emotionally unavailable and dissociated. It has been sad and scary process to see my friend’s vibrant personality slowly fading. I have tried to reach out and lift her spirits, but she only checks in briefly from time to time, and then disappears again into the shadows.