control
Embracing The Magical Art Of Allowing
There is a magical force in the universe – a profound creative essence that flows through all realms, weaving its way through the fabric of existence. This magic essence is not bound by the limits of our understanding nor the constraints of our control. Rather, it emanates from the depths of surrender and trust. This magical power is the sacred art of allowing.
For much of my life, I found myself grappling with the notion of control. I sought to navigate the complexities of existence with a firm grip, believing that my willpower alone could shape the course of my journey. Yet, time and time again, I was met with the harsh reality of resistance — the relentless struggle against the ebb and flow of life’s currents.
It wasn’t until I stumbled upon the profound wisdom of allowing that I began to witness the transformative power of surrender. Allowing is not passive resignation; rather, it is an act of radical acceptance — an invitation to dance with the rhythm of the universe and surrender to the innate flow of existence.
One of the most profound lessons in allowing came to me during a time of immense uncertainty and upheaval in my life. I was at a crossroads, grappling with decisions that made me feel like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. In my desperation to find clarity, I clung to my preconceived notions of how things should unfold, trying to force the puzzle pieces of my life into some semblance of controlled order.
The Law Of Reverse Effect
I remember talking to a very distraught client a few years ago about a man with whom she had been having a secret affair for 24 years. It was a relationship she was very obsessed with and had stubbornly pursued for over two decades, despite many red flags and a great deal of frustration and disappointment along the way.
When this man finally got up the courage to divorce his wife, he left not only his wife, but also his mistress. Within three months, he was in a relationship with someone new and told my client that he never really felt that way about her anyway.
She wanted to know how this could be? She expected with 100% certainty that he would be with her and no one else after the divorce, but the exact opposite happened. After all, she had put a lot of time, effort, energy, love, and devotion into this secret relationship, not to mention all the stress, frustration and drama she had to endure for over two decades.
At the time, this tragic story made me think about some of the free will choices I have made in my own life. There have been times when I, too, have stubbornly expected things to turn out a certain way for me because I pursued it with vigor, only to be devastated when it did not. For example, many years ago, a guy I had a huge crush on and thought was really into me ended up hitting on my best friend while we were out on a date! I guess the moral of the story is to never pursue someone who is not really that into you.
Embrace Your Personal Power In Relationships
Our relationships have great power and influence in our lives. In particular, many of us spend countless hours pursuing love and romance. Then, once we are in a relationship, we spend even more time and energy thinking about it, confiding in friends about it…often trying to make the relationship different or better.
I deal with this almost daily as I have counseled hundreds of lovesick, frustrated, and heartbroken clients over the years.
“If only he would do what I want, things would be different,” some of my clients might say. “If only he would be more open and honest, maybe I could trust him more.” Truth be told, I have heard similar words come out of my own mouth about my own relationships more times than I care to admit!
Unfortunately, instead of successfully influencing our partner’s words or behavior, we are often left feeling disappointed, betrayed, frustrated, powerless, or out of control. It is draining, pointless, and definitely not the best use of one’s time and energy.
So how do we change it? How do we take emotional control of our life and our relationships? The answer is shockingly simple.
It is all about taking a different, broader perspective on relationships and what they are here to teach us. A quote from Unity Church’s Daily Word magazine perfectly captures this shift in perspective: “Through our relationships with one another, we express the power, presence and love of God.”
Surround Yourself With Divine Love
Love is a concept I encounter every day in my work, and it is indeed a multifaceted thing. In its purest form, it manifests itself as a mother’s love for her child, a partner’s love for his spouse, or a sibling’s love for a brother or sister.
But love also takes more subtle forms. It can be reflected in a teacher’s love for expanding young minds, a researcher’s desire to advance humanity, or an engineer’s fine attention to detail.
There are also negative, toxic forms of ‘love.’ Too much love, though usually well-intentioned, can be harmful. The hovering parent, the controlling spouse, the overprotective friend can stifle true growth, trust, and creativity.
Sometimes conditional love is traded like a commodity or used as a weapon. It can be withheld when behavior is perceived as lacking or used as a reward for conforming to the status quo.
Fake love is also used as a facade or camouflage. The world is full of negative energy and hidden agendas disguised as projects of love that are supposed to be “for the greater good.”
Sometimes love turns into distractions, such as self-centered schemes that are really based on greed. Some people who profess love in truth worship false praise, accolades, and self-enrichment.
Spirit invites us to abandon the charade of false love. Instead, we should strive to be kind, compassionate, and generous without expecting anything in return. We must give others the benefit of the doubt without judging their worth or intent. Each day we should step forward and ask, “How can I help?” instead of making negative assumptions. Spiritual people lead by example. We must show the world the divine beings we are inside.
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.
Ghosting, Gaslighting And Gameplaying!
In my work as a psychic, I assist clients daily with navigating life’s challenges, especially their relationships with the people in their life. While the guidance I receive from spirit has essentially remained the same over the years, the language I use to relay this information changes over time.
The professional psychic must constantly adapt and renovate the terminology she uses in readings to communicate spirit’s messages. New slang and buzzwords continually show up in our culture as society evolves, and it must become part of the psychic’s vocabulary to ensure she communicates clearly and effectively.
Three of the new terms that frequently comes up in readings these days is ghosting, gaslighting, and gameplaying.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone stops communicating with you, casually ignores you, and no longer replies to any of your calls or messages. All communication is abandoned for no apparent reason.
“He has been ghosting me!” some clients frequently exclaim. “What is going on? Why is he acting this way?” In these readings, it often becomes clear that he may be doing so for one of the following reasons:
Learning To Forgive
Accepting, letting go and forgiving is difficult, but necessary to thrive and live our best life. When we do not forgive, we carry toxic energy within that poisons us mind, body and soul.
Energetically non-forgiveness wreaks havoc in our chakras that can cause physical disease and mental illness. Our chakras store the energies of negative life events and experiences, if we do not release it, and heal those imbalances and blockages.
Forgiving does not mean we condone or exonerate the evil deeds of others, nor do we have to allow the people who have wronged us back into our life. This is seldom wise.
However, it is also not karmically smart to harbor resentment, seek vengeance, or wish others harm…for it will come back to us. Forgiveness is to surrender control and allowing karma to deal with those who wronged us.
When we forgive and release the trauma others have caused us, their choices and actions can no longer control us, nor steal our happiness, joy, and well-being. This is why forgiveness is the best gift we can give to ourselves.
Forgiveness does not set the wrongdoer free or exempt them from their karmic debt. Instead, we set ourselves free, so that their karmic choices no longer interfere with our energetic well-being and our divine right to manifest our best life. When we do not forgive and move on, it will continue to haunt us. It gradually infiltrates and contaminates every aspect of our life, and even causes us to attract more of the same unwanted experiences.