Self-Help
Take Back Your Power!
Everyone has a story to tell about their love life. And some of have extremely abusive stories to tell. One common element that I have come across frequently in my work, is the fact that some people are treated with disrespect and emotional abuse, and yet they are still patiently waiting for the abuser to return to them!
When you ask them why, it is usually because they “still love” that person. Well, that is not love. It is simply an imagined need that has been created by the abuser, or by one’s lack of self-worth. It is a psychological illusion, not real.
If you are still waiting for someone to come back into your life, after they left you for someone else, you are making yourself the second choice. You are degrading your own true value and taking away from your self-worth.
During a workshop I presented on this subject, I asked the participants to write down why they felt they needed that other person in their life. In essence, all their responses ended up being about lack of self-esteem, self-respect and self-security.
The next step was to ask them how they would you feel if they saw someone treating their daughter, or son, in the same way they have been allowing the abusive partner to treat them? They all said they wouldn’t tolerate it. They would intervene and get that person out of their lives, or at least try. One of the delegates even went as far as to say, “I would lock her in the house and never let her out again.” Which might be a great idea under the circumstances, but obviously not realistic!
Choose Your Tribe Wisely
We need to face the fact that some people are unfriendly, heartless, and simply rude! I discovered recently why someone I know personally acts so unfeeling and uncaring towards others. She always seems so wrapped up in her own world and shows no regard for anyone else. This has brought about much dis-ease in her own family and she has also gone through numerous failed romantic relationships.
During a recent family gathering, I was observing her aura and noticed that she suffers tremendous guilt and envy of others. Meanwhile, she is always looking for acceptance and comfort from her many boyfriends, who only stick around until they find out how manipulative and vindictive she really is.
Spirit showed me that she truly hates herself and projects it onto others. She is just not happy and slowly drains the energy of those around her. They usually do not realize this until it is too late. I do wonder how those who orbit around this person can manage to stick around at all, as it seems dis-ease and drama just follows her everywhere she goes in life.
Before her sister’s funeral, she was even snapping and yelling at her youngest daughter for something as trivial as a puzzle piece accidentally dropped on the floor. I asked one of her other children how she grew up to be so loving and sweet, having been raised around that kind of negativity? She said the credit belonged to her grandparents, as well as a few other family members.
I refuse to be unkind to anyone. It is in my nature to be civil and courteous to everyone I meet. It is my motto to leave others feeling better than they were before I interacted with them. But many people, will not even smile, no matter what you say or do. Spirit says this is due to their ‘spark’ being blown out by their own bad life choices and negative thoughts. It’s a matter of free will.
Guidelines For Spiritual Growth
Spirituality is a wide-ranging concept with many diverse perspectives. In essence it is the process through which our inner being seeks to relate to something bigger than ourselves. It is the search for the meaning and purpose of our human existence. Spirituality is about our soul or spirit, and the unseen realms, as opposed to material things and physical life. It is also the life-long pursuit of inner peace, unconditional love, and existential wisdom and understanding.
Many people believe that the secret to spiritual growth and development can only be found in a book, a lecture, dogmatic belief system, or some other product or service that will magically unlock the doors to spiritual insight, happiness, joy and fulfillment. However, spirituality is a unique, personal path that each of us can explore on our own, from within. The following guidelines may be helpful on your journey towards spiritual fulfillment.
Reflection
The first step in personal spiritual growth is reflecting on your life journey. To be spiritual is to be questioning and inquisitive. Spiritual growth is a process of constantly learning and improving. One must be willing to open yourself to personal and spiritual growth, and by doing this your world opens up and things become less scary.
Holding on to past events keeps us from experiencing new adventures, and the emotional baggage will only weigh you down. Accept your past mistakes and learn from them. Reflect on what changes need to happen for you to move forward.
We are all teachers. We are either teaching someone, or they are teaching us – both good and bad. Learn from your experiences and move on with life.
Lead By Example – A Message From My Guides
Many of you lead by example, without having to think about it. You obey traffic signals. You pick up garbage if you accidentally drop it. You hold doors open for others. You smile at strangers. You volunteer. You support local charities.
Entering the second month of this new decade, it might be a good time to re-think some old habits, and also lead from within.
For example, it may be a good idea to tone down those automatic, knee-jerk thoughts of annoyance, anger or retribution when someone pushes all-too-familiar buttons. Instead of allowing the cortisol and adrenaline to skyrocket within your body, think things through, before reacting negatively. Resist the urge to speak hurtful comments, even if your basic premise is sound. Find a constructive way to get your point across.
Sometimes it is tempting to jump on the bandwagon for likes and shares on social media platforms. However, if the topic is not kind, hold your tongue. Instead, be the person who can be counted on for level-headed discourse, without vitriol.
In general, be kind to others. Give people some leeway when it is evident that they are trying their best. Catch them doing something right, instead of watching for errors and omissions. Give recognition and praise where warranted. It can mean so much and does not cost anything.
Be kind to yourself too. Banish negative self-talk. Give yourself the right to be human and allow yourself to make mistakes, without chastising yourself for an unimportant oversight. If a serious error does occur, do your best to rectify the issue in a timely manner, with a ‘note-to-self’ that you have learned from the situation and will not repeat it.
The Linear Time Trap Of The Past
It is said we do not know what time is. We also do not know where it comes from, and we definitely do not know where it goes! And according to Albert Einstein, the famous physicist, the distinction between past, present and future is only an illusion, because space and time are fluid. Yes, such are the mysteries of the fourth dimension.
Linear time may be an illusion in scientific terms, but in our daily life it is still the time that we cannot stop or control. That clock keeps on ticking, and the cycles of night and day will forever come and go. Every morning, the sun shall continue to rise, and the Earth will progress on its annual journey around the Sun.
However, our experience of time goes beyond the everyday linear. Did you know that there is also such a thing as spiritual time?
Surely you have observed that whenever you are doing something really unpleasant or boring, time can certainly drag on. For example, I recently had to wait for some medical tests that would determine whether or not I was developing breast cancer. Thankfully, the tests came back negative, but I remember thinking of those awful four weeks of hospital visits and biopsies as being the ‘longest month of my life!’
On the other hand, time can also pass so quickly whenever we are having a good time and enjoying ourselves. Why would this be? Well, when you are really delighted with something, your soul, your spirit, your higher self becomes fully engaged in the pleasant experience you are having. In simple terms, when this happens, you literally lose track of linear, reality time itself and your personal, spiritual time shifts to the front. This is the time of your true spiritual self.
Connecting With Loved Ones In Spirit
We can connect at any time with our loved ones who are no longer in this world. They are with us always, no matter where we are. Whenever you feel the need, you can communicate with them, be it a grandparent, parent, sibling, best friend, or anyone else who you had a meaningful relationship with while they were alive.
Connecting with our loved ones in spirit is not as complex or difficult as it may seem. You just have to believe you can, and you absolutely will. You can project yourself in your mind to any place you wish. It can also be a time in the past, that you wish to revisit. We have the power of our mind and if we only use it we can go wherever and visit with whomever whenever.
If you have the desire to see them again, you can ask for them to visit you in the dream or in the astral realm, or you can go into a meditation and visualize, and connect that way. Close your eyes. Remember them, as they were in life. Recall the feelings that you experienced when you used to be around them, the love that you shared.
Your heart may start to feel ‘tingly’ and you may start to hear their voice. You may even receive a message from them. They may tell you how much they love you. And they do. Always. It is that very feeling of love, that true, pure emotion, that connects us to those we love on the Other Side. Love is the very energy that created everything.
Do not ever feel hopeless that you are disconnected from or abandoned by your loved ones. They are a part of you forever, and they are right where you are now. They merely exist on a different plane now.
Aromatherapy For Stress Relief
I have been using essential oils for many years. In the 1990s, I made it a point to study them and become certified. At that time aromatherapy was already very popular in Europe, where it was seen as a viable adjunct therapy. Science has gained more insight on the impact of scent on the brain, our emotions and our well-being.
Stress originates from the limbic system, and our sense of smell is the only one that is linked to this part of the brain. Before we might even become aware of the effects an essential oil or fragrance may have on us, the molecules from the essential oils we smell are already at work on our limbic lobe.
Successful real estate agents know the power of smell, and often suggest you bake some chocolate chip cookies, or brew some fresh coffee before an open house, or simply simmer cloves, cinnamon, and orange peels in a small pot of boiling water, to evoke a homey, welcoming smell.
Scents also trigger memories. A scent from your childhood, that created a warm, secure, peaceful feeling, is something you might want to re-create with essential oils.
When the mind relaxes, the body follows. We all experience stress at times, and although essential oils cannot magically make a situation disappear, one may benefit from the relaxation effects that aromatherapy offers.