I have struggled with depression for many years. I used to have highs and lows. During the highs I was invincible, untouchable and successful. Everything I touched seemed to turn to gold (in my mind). My personal appearance would be well-manicured, my house immaculate, gourmet meals were served for breakfast lunch and dinner. I would start new businesses, for having a husband, two children and a full-time shift job was not enough.
I launched these businesses with great success while on my emotional highs. Money excited me – not other people’s money, but the money I was able to make during these manic bouts. I loved it and loathed it all at the same time. I barely needed to sleep. I would spend lavishly on those I loved. Read the rest of this entry »
I don’t even know where to start. I’ve copied a few passages from my diary, it’s the only way to tell you how I have been treating myself, and I am ashamed. I could use some insight as to where to go from here. Here is what I wrote.
“Every day, I push back the emotions that hit me like waves from a stormy sea. I talk myself down and sooth my troubled soul. I have done something I swore I would never do – I put myself on the back burner.
On hold. I wait.
I speak to so many men and women who are in abusive relationships. They often have explanations for their abusive loved ones, telling me about the tremendous stress their partner, mother, father, friend, child or sibling is dealing with. They didn’t mean it. They make excuses for their behavior.
“He temporarily loses his mind, but he realizes he’s done wrong and apologizes. He said he was sorry, it won’t happen again.” Read the rest of this entry »
Marriage isn’t an institution as much as it is an arrangement between two people. That arrangement may mean different things to different people. We all have different views of marriage. Wisdom dictates that you should discuss and decide beforehand what to do with finances, children, in-laws. These are not trivial things.
Once you’ve said your “I do’s”, there is no turning back. Couples who do not want their finances mixed together, need to make that clear from the very beginning. Perhaps I am too old-fashioned, but a pre-nuptial agreement to me is just another way of planning your divorce; it is the paper that says “I love you, but I don’t trust you.” Or the mine, mine, mine, syndrome. You both work to earn an income, but everything is only in one person’s name. Control issues much? Read the rest of this entry »
We are all ultimately looking for love and acceptance. It sounds so simplistic, but the reality can be far more complex. Confusing sexual attraction with love is more common that you think. At times it’s not confusion at all, but a complete identification that this sexual draw means you’ve found “the one”. If that connection is only there in the bedroom, where does that leave you in the real world?
Connected energy versus sexual energy are two separate things. Yes, together they can make for fantastic relationships, but more commonly, the connection we feel is only a bond with someone over sexual attraction. Sadly, that fizzles out quickly if there is no foundation of friendship, kinship, or spiritual connection. Eventually, we wake up one morning looking at the other person thinking, “I don’t know you and I don’t even like you. It’s over.” Read the rest of this entry »
In all relationships, whether it be romantic, friendship, family or co-workers, we all have a communication style. Most of us cannot be put into one category as we may have a mix of styles. Is this a mix of nature and nurture? Yes. We are all born with a personality, but that personality is molded by our parents, teachers, peers and mentors.
I have been the passive, the aggressive and the assertive, and subtypes of each, depending on what I am faced with. I have the ability to switch masks with each situation that is presented to me. I no longer work in a prison, where it was necessary to be assertive and aggressive at all times. Nonetheless, each situation would dictate how I approached it. Read the rest of this entry »
What kind of flower are you? This was an exercise that we would play in groups. Each of us took a turn to name the flower that we thought we were. We analyzed what the flower represented, as a reflection of who we are, what we represented, and what our emotional needs were.
One woman chose a thistle! We laughed, but the truth is that a thistle is tough, prickly and the ultimate survivor. How appropriate for her. She is indeed a wise, strong and persistent person, and I wouldn’t want to mess with her.
Gifted clients sometimes call me to ask how to develop their psychic abilities. My answer is always the same, connect with like-minded people so that you can openly share, learn and practice.
Where to find these people is usually the next question. Well, you found me for starters! Something bigger than all of us directed you to me. More will follow. At times it is not necessary for you to seek. As the saying goes, when the student is ready the teacher will appear…
Driving has always been my escape. Cranking up the music, opening the windows, becoming one with my car. It is where I do my best thinking. Unconsciously, I am aware of my surroundings. I’ve always been a safe driver. But consciously my mind is sometimes in high gear. When I’m on the road I unwind, develop ideas, mull over dramas, laugh at the ridiculous, and most importantly, enjoy my own company. Read the rest of this entry »