Grief is a normal, universally-felt reaction to any type of loss – love, child, friend, job, pet, even inanimate things like a home. Grief is a profound sadness that takes over our daily lives and thoughts and causes us to muddle through, numbed to experiences we once enjoyed. We ask ourselves what we could have done differently. We cry. We get angry. And sometimes we feel guilty.
I’d like to share with you some of what I’ve learned about the process of grieving. Yes, grieving is a process consisting of several phases and ultimately – resolution or acceptance. You can and will get through your loss, and once again free your mind to enjoy life again. It will be different, yes. But it will be good.
Have faith that this too shall pass. Our hearts are big enough for many loves, and what was once grief can be now turned into fond memories. Grieving is an individual process and moving through the process is personal. The process can take a year or it can take a month.
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey ~ Kenji Miyazawa
In her 1969 book, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defined the five stages of grief, and although others after her have elaborated and broadened the discussion, there are five that are agreed upon.
1. Denial. The first stage of grieving. You experience disbelief, your mind is muddled, while time either stands still or moves at warp-speed. You can’t think about anything else. Sounds are muffled and you feel disconnected from everything. You may say to yourself, “how can it be? Only a day ago he was right here!” Once you start to question, to become mentally engaged again, you’re likely to start feeling anger and guilt.
2. Anger and guilt. These emotions are connected – angry because you just lost a loved one (how could he leave me now?) and then guilt at having been angry and now they’re gone. I mostly think of anger as a ‘mask feeling’. Anger masks hurt and pain. The feelings are so intense and overwhelming. It’s okay to cry, yell, scream or even spend some time ‘outside’ yourself by going on field trips to the zoo, a museum. Try to go with and be with your friends or family.
Grieving is a necessary passage and a difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow – it is not a permanent rest stop ~ Dodinsky
3. Bargaining. During this stage, you bargain with yourself, with your higher self, with a divine power, with the object of your loss. “Please if you let him live, I promise to show appreciation every day.” As you come closer to realization that you cannot do anything to change what happens, you start to feel even more lonesome and isolated, which leads to depression.
4. Depression. This is a situational state, and a normal passage through grief. These stages are not necessarily distinct. Despair and hopelessness are part of the strong emotions you feel. It’s important to have a support system and to begin going out again.
5. Acceptance or resolution. The final stage of grieving. Whether or not you can resolve the loss depends upon each one individually. This is the recovery stage. You build a new life, not to just fill the void, but to enjoy yourself and pursue interests.
Watch for my next blog, Techniques for Processing Grief, where I’ll write about some techniques that have worked for me and for others I’ve advised over the years.
| As a conduit to Spirit since birth Dianna provides channeled information from her Guides, Archangels, Ascended Masters & Animal Spirits. During readings, information comes to her through telepathy, empathy, visual images and physical sensations. She additionally uses Automatic Writing for very specific details and timing, Tarot and the Lenormand Cards. Dianna’s specialties are providing you with remarkably accurate answers to your questions using her psychic consciousness to assist you in reaching new and rewarding goals. A Libra/Aquarius rising with three grand trines in her chart, Dianna has chosen to use her psychic gifts and Reiki Healing Energy to help others, providing practical answers to life’s questions plus healing and clearing blockages. You can get a psychic reading from Dianna at|
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