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I Feel I’m Not An Empath… Is That A Bad Thing?

Get a FREE psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comI do not want to reinforce the notion that empaths need to be sensitive, vulnerable, or peace loving. There are angry ones out there too!

Highly sensitive people sometimes are a little self conscious, sometimes defensive, often times needing a lot of attention and care. This ranges all the way from the spectrum of highly sensitive people to people who do not appear to be compassionate. All people want approval. Does this sound like you?

It can sometimes become such an obsession for any empathic personality to please others and they can often let themselves be lead, and frequently feel the need approval. All of us are this way, but I need to stress you don’t have to be a bleeding heart empath to be a good one!

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive ~ Dalai Lama XIV

I have come to the point through my work where I know when it is best not to listen to the demands of others just to satisfy what someone needs to feel. If I agreed with my subjects feelings all the time, I would have to agree to some terrible aspects of humanity, and I do not.

I have also realized that most of us, all of us, believe we need one thing in our lives, when we actually may need the experience of another. A good empath over time will be firm and not allow themselves to be carried by opinions or the collective. I have learned that even if I can feel their feelings, many times they are theirs only, and do not reflect me, they are only a mirror of what they want to see in themselves – the good and the bad.

All of us were born with the innate ability to be very compassionate. The definition of empathy is not necessarily compassion. Compassion is not always kind.

I have actually found that most people are ‘empathic addicts’,  wanting to control more by coasting purely on the emotional high and lows of the moment in the relationship. More often than not a self-affirming desire for approval or disapproval, agitating the situation despite it being deleterious to their own well-being.

When someone focuses on only that one person, the healthy vision of their self can become distorted over time. On the other hand, even people who may appear compassionate may wish to induce a type of feeling or a reaction in their subject by controlling them, perhaps coasting off of their highs and lows as they find it too painful to feel their own feelings in themselves. This is seen in all people, as I have found that most people, no matter how generous or how angry they may seem, need approval and acceptance.

Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless ~ Eric Hoffer

Some people, empathic or not, can become so addicted to feelings, especially the feelings of other, to the point that they do not want to feel their own feelings on their own, with consequence, in sequence, sometime taking fewer or too many risks to control their addiction to someone else’s pain. Fortunately there are many who simple understand and listen, and do not need the edge of constantly having to feel something, anything, even if it is someone else’s pain.

Some empaths can sometimes appear more intense, spiritual, loyal and impressionable. But it is not something you need to attain. There are some equally fixed personality types that can demonstrate even more compassion. Ask yourself – just how much empath would you like to have in you? Why do you care so much? Apart from human survival, try not to fixate on what people feel, as from moment to moment they don’t always know what they feel, even if you think you know what it is.

Can one teach empathy? Can one ‘train’ life experience? What is the key – is this a discipline that can be assimilated or taught, like an improvement? Or did true life experiences bring the compassionate person to the fore?

I feel that understanding is important, although there are some situations in which the empathic personality is unable to process the sender’s feelings – even when hearing or feeling the other person’s feelings. When assuming someone’s feelings, it’s difficult to get perspective. Imagine if one day frivolous lawsuits arose because someone ‘thought’ something, with the newspaper headline being “Wife sues ex husband for hating her”.

All intuitives get stuck on the same emotional levels and struggles in life as someone who may appear less intuitive. Again, experience is of equal value for all people.  After a while, some empaths learn not to listen as much and understand the relative safety of not assuming others feelings. This can be a neutral and comfortable place to be, and a form of respect and tolerance for other people’s need for growth and privacy. When they feel they match up to a person’s energy, they may allow that energy in – and with just a breath, let it go again.

About The Author: Carmen Miro

Carmen’s waking dreams have provided accurate glimpses into the future for celebrities as well as political and international figures. Her non-judgmental, Empathic approach, as well as her unique method of Tarot reading, affords her the reputation as a groundbreaker in her field. This European born Canadian is the first online psychic to promote the idea of Empathy and emotional thought transference, and she has written a great deal on the subject. For a comprehensive Intuitive reading that will transform your life, you can find Carmen at

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