All of us have in some way, shape or form made lists of what we want in our lives. Whether you’ve written your desires on paper or listed your intentions in your mind, you have decisively moved in that direction and pulled in that energy.
Some of us have also received exactly what we asked for and found it wasn’t what we wanted at all…so it was back to the drawing board. As the years pass, the list of wishes, hopes, desires and intentions become more streamlined due to our life experiences.
We make our wish lists thinking that it will bring our ultimate happiness and fulfillment when we ultimately get what we asked for. I work with many clients, for example, whose ultimate wish is for their lovers to leave their spouse to be with them instead. That’s all they want.
Be careful what you set your heart upon – for it will surely be yours ~ James Baldwin
As in love as they are, they remain miserable. They are left with feeling lesser than, not good enough and in incredible pain, thinking they are the ones that are lacking whatever it is the lover needs. That must mean they are not good enough for anyone, which is far from the truth, but that is how they feel and ultimately they live that truth. Society teaches us about judgment. That one word has put each and every one of us in struggle.
In some cases their wishes comes true. The lover leaves it all behind for them, with the hope of fulfilling a dream for better things to come. In the majority of these cases, after the ‘honeymoon’ is over, the thrill of having each other is replaced by: “What if they leave me for someone else? They left their wife or husband for me, so what is stopping them for leaving me for someone else?” The answer: nothing.
There are many angles to this scenario. Sometimes having these extra-marital affairs has become a game. They just want to win, and when they do they’re still miserable until the next ‘game’ comes along.
I also have to add the flip side to this. Some people are very comfortable in a relationship with no strings. Both parties are being honest with each other; it’s not their comfort they are struggling with, but that of society. After all, if mainstream society doesn’t approve, it tends to force a happy situation into something dark and dirty. It’s not the situation that causes pain; it’s the guilt and shame that is attached to the approval of the masses.
More tears are shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones ~ Mother Teresa
For quite some time now I’ve been using a different method with my clients, to narrow down their desires in life. I never suggest making a list of what you want. On the contrary – make a list of everything you don’t want!
Now before you think that you will be able to do this in five minutes, think again. Let’s go back for a second to all those things you have asked for and it turned out to be not what you wanted at all. Those are the things that belong on that list, for a start.
Draw on the experiences you have already had, and those little ‘pet peeves’ you haven’t shared with anyone. It’s time to dig deep. This takes thought and most importantly time. Do you need someone in your life that spends every moment with you, or do you need someone that respects your space? If you’ve experienced both, look deeper into both the scenarios and pick out specifically what didn’t work for you. Was it the situation itself, or the people involved it it? Most importantly, remember that you were involved in it too; this is an exercise of self-reflection as well, so no, you’re not off the hook!
I need to remind you that just because a scenario works for the majority, doesn’t mean it will work for you. So, most importantly, be truthful with yourself. Don’t be a ‘sheeple’; don’t mindlessly follow the pack. People tend to make life altering sacrifices…all in the name of ‘being normal’. What we’re taught to believe is normal can be the biggest obstacle to overcome.
If a man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles ~ Benjamin Franklin
Get yourself a notebook, so you can take it with you wherever you go. No matter what obscure thought comes to mind, list them. If you can’t stand it when someone wears their socks to bed, write it down. If there is a behavior that you struggle with that you want to change, list it. This is all about what we don’t want, which also includes behaviors that aren’t serving you well. It is your list and no one else’s, and you must write it all down.
This little exercise can take weeks, or even months. The most important detail here is not to re-read the list every time you add something to it. Just write it down and then close the book. Remember these are the things you don’t want in your life. How honest you are with yourself about this will determine how successful you’re going to be with it.
If you decide to sweep some things under the carpet and tell yourself “Oh, I can live with that”, but you know you cannot, don’t bother wasting your time going any further with this. Be honest with yourself; this is between you and the Universe. The Universe already knows; it’s waiting for you to get it.
When you believe your list is done, sit down and read it. It will give you a whole new perspective on your life, from a completely different angle. It encompasses everything you have experienced that didn’t work for you and things that you already know will never fit into your life.
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck ~ The Dalai Lama
When you believe you’re list is done and you have nothing to add, sit down and read it in its entirety. The purpose is not to instill all the negativity, but you automatically glean fresh views and ideas from it, by seeing all you don’t want. Even if you walk away with one, single fresh idea or desire you have accomplished a lot.
The next step is to release that energy of what you don’t want. Burn the list. Take it outside to the lake, river, ocean, or just your backyard, then burn it and release it. There is no ‘hocus pocus’ to this, it is merely symbolic. You are releasing all things that you don’t want to hold onto, from tangible objects to situations, and emotions.
I have done this particular exercise twice and have no doubt I will do it again. As I have new experiences, I learn about more things that I thought I wanted and learned quickly I didn’t. I tune into that now more than ever. I have a much clearer picture of my life, simply because I know what I don’t want. There is inner peace and freedom in that.
| PsychicAccess.com.Isthemus is an experienced psychic advisor with her own Metaphysical Company based out of the Fraser Valley of British Columbia. A natural born empath, clairsentient, clairvoyant, intuitive Counsellor and psychic advisor. Patty still does Paranormal Investigations as well as teaching workshops on how to interpret signs. You can talk to Isthemus at |
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