It reminds me of the concept behind Jerry Seinfeld’s popular 90’s sitcom: “The show about nothing”… which always turned out to be something.
It also makes me wonder at this moment what my subconscious mind may be stirring up for me.
So, this morning on Facebook I was chatting with my sister-in-law. She shared a personal pet-peeve with me, namely when a person says that they “do not have a choice”. I agreed wholeheartedly, there is always a choice. I have had interactions with people who defended their choices by stating that they didn’t have one… really?
We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them ~ Kahlil Gibran
A man I interviewed once had spent 13 years in prison. As he told me his story of how he had gotten there, the statement: “I had no choice” came up numerous times. I listened to him quietly; his sincerity in this belief was real. I then asked him a few simple questions in regards to his choices.
“If you could do it over again, what would you have done?”
Immediately he sat up straight in the chair and stated that things would be a lot different.
He sat quietly for a few moments and then he said: “I would have never got involved in the whole thing”.
“Hmmm, so you would have made a different choice?”
James glared at me for a moment and replied: “Yeah, I guess…”
“So you do have choices, now you can see that…”
When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice ~ William James
He shuffled around in his seat and threw a pen across the room, looking frustrated. Then he said: “Yeah, I know… I can give you more examples of no choices than choices. I had no choice but to come to prison. I had no choice but to ‘kill or be killed’, I had no choice. And how would you know about what I had to choose?”
“No James, coming to prison was not a choice, but the consequence of your choices. It’s easy to blame everyone and everything else, but there is a lot of freedom in taking responsibility for it, when we do… changes happen.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t been with ‘them’, things would have been different”, he responded.
“Okay James, but you were with them, so let’s go to the next scenario. When you got into the fight, was there really no other choice?”
“No! I knew what was expected of me, I had no choice!” he exclaimed.
“Everything is a choice James. The fight… you could have chosen to walk away, or you could have chosen to hit the wall and not the man. The options were numerous.
You may think that in life, a lot of things happen to you along the way. The truth is, in life, you happen to a lot of things along the way ~ Dr. Shad Helmstetter
I’m not trying to do anything here but open up a new way of thinking. You do have choices. You have a choice now, when you walk out those doors in a month, on whether you want to go back to school and get a degree, get a job, live on a beach, live in a house. Your choices are infinite.”
Never confuse choice with consequence. Consequences are not a negative, they may seem so at the time, but in reality they teach us something about ourselves or someone else may learn from it.
I can tell you this because I have had to deal with my own consequences of my actions throughout my life. I’m not saying that at the time they were pleasant in any way, shape or form, but without them I wouldn’t have gained the knowledge and experiences. Others touched my life and I touched theirs. We both walked away learning.
I had to give up hiding behind the excuses and I had to look at myself. Our egos can get us in a lot of trouble when we believe we have to look, act, walk and talk a certain way to gain acceptance, or to look good… ultimately paying the price for what? One moment of ‘stardom’ in the eyes of our peers? They are not the ones who have to deal with the consequences, and it’s funny, they are also the ones that abandon us when we are paying for those choices. Making choices based on what others think or expect of you is most certainly giving our personal power away.
There are two primary choices in life; to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them ~Denis Waitley
Then there is another side to choices…rewards. Self-satisfaction, pride, fulfillment, joy, freedom. Freedom is the grand prize, because at that point you are the master of your destiny, they are not the master of yours.”
James sat and listened, without throwing anymore pens across the room.
“Yeah, well, I never looked at it that way before.”
Then he walked out of the interview room.
Two years ago, I ran into James on the street, a lot had changed in his life and we went to have a coffee and talk about it. He told me that the conversation we had that day played over and over in his mind. He hated me for it. Laughing, he relayed to me the steps that he took when he left, with my words resonating in his head: “Don’t give away your power.”
James is now married, with two beautiful daughters. He had gone back to school, worked a full time job and just opened his own business that was going well for him. Life was good and he had something he never thought he had – power!
I thanked James that day for his gift. Looking confused he said: “I thought that’s what I was doing…thanking you?”.
“No, you gave me the greatest gift of all…your success.”
| PsychicAccess.com.Isthemus is an experienced psychic advisor with her own Metaphysical Company based out of the Fraser Valley of British Columbia. A natural born empath, clairsentient, clairvoyant, intuitive Counsellor and psychic advisor. Patty still does Paranormal Investigations as well as teaching workshops on how to interpret signs. You can talk to Isthemus at |
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