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The Truth About Closure After A Break-Up

Click Here for a FREE psychic reading right now at PsychicAccess.comSymbolism is strong magic. Creating a ritual to achieve closure, when we have suffered a loss or disappointment, offers us strength and healing through symbolism. It is symbolic, for example, to write letters to people who have wronged you in some way. Burning that letter is then a way to start the healing process. Once burned, the energy that is released from your being is the start of healing for you.

Instead, we often tend to run through many a scenarios in our mind. We tend to rehash the past, over and over. We repeat conversations with a former partner, trying to find understanding and closure. But it does not release the pain, for you are talking to them in your mind, and not really having a conversation with them. Depending on the level of trauma you have experienced, this exercise only cements the fact that it was a traumatic experience, with no real closure.

Closure is a word that is too often thrown around without truly understanding its meaning. If you have your heart broken by someone, and do not know the reasons why they had done what they had done, it leaves you in a place of bewilderment. Many people then think that if they can find a more in-depth, or subconscious reason for the break-up or relationship failure, they would be able to close that door once and for all.

We eventually learn that emotional closure is our own action. We can be responsible for it. In any moment, we can choose to open or to close ~ David Deida

But what exactly is a reasonable reason for breaking up with someone? Will the reasons, real or otherwise, every fully satisfy us if we continue to refuse to accept the break-up as a reality?

Many look in the mirror and feel that they are not worth loving when someone no longer wants to be with them. This is often why we struggle to accept a relationship break-up. But look at the bigger picture. That person hurt you, or was hurting, lied to you, or lied to themselves, manipulated you, or just plain did not connect with you the way you connected with them. This is not necessarily a reflection on you, neither is there automatically something ‘wrong’ with you.

Furthermore, the Universe often saves us from ourselves by removing people from our life that may be preventing us from following the path we are supposed to follow. That person who hurt you may have come into your life to teach you more of what you do not want. This is how you build the list of what you do want.

Many jilted lovers also have a hard time understanding that a feeling of connection from their side, does not always mean that there is a true love connection or some kind of destiny attached to it. This is where the problem often starts. Many then soon find themselves staring at their phone, waiting for the next text or call, because they have created unrealistic expectations about another person that was never meant to there from the start.

I have also been in relationships that sucked the life out of me, yet I hung in there. Thinking, if I just love them no matter what, they will see my worth and appreciate me. Sadly, it never turned out that way. More than once I gave my all to the wrong man. As an empath, I pulled in broken men with serious control issues. They did not trust me, because they were not trustworthy themselves.

When we are in love, we are convinced nobody else will do. But as time goes, others do, and often do, much much better ~ Jamie Weise

I learned some brutal lessons during that time. I did not understand at the time that the shadow work they needed to do on themselves, was not something I could ‘love them through.’ That was their journey. My journey was discovering that I was worthy, and that I could not ‘fix’ a man by loving him fiercely, nor by tolerating his abusive behavior.

Plus, I was a serial dater! I was so afraid to be alone and unloved. This was a fear my mother passed on to me. I can’t count how many times my mother told me that I cannot be ‘alone’ and raise my girls on my own. “A woman needs a husband,” she said. That, as it turned out, was the farthest thing from the truth. I ultimately thrived alone. I learned how to be by myself. It was an empowering time of self-discovery and personal enlightenment.

It can become exhausting dealing with someone who refuses to accept that it is their own behaviors that is causing their issues and suffering. Two things I know to be true. Reaching a point that creates such tensions within yourself is unhealthy to say the least. It causes so many people to question whether the connection they feel with someone is real, especially when they are getting mixed messages.

When you are ‘connected’ with a new love interest, whose actions and words rarely match, take note that things may not be what they seem. The most important thing to realize is that you have to stop looking for special reasons why they ‘don’t love’ you, or don’t appreciate you. This is usually not a reflection of something lacking in you.

About The Author: Isthemus

Isthemus is an experienced psychic advisor with her own Metaphysical Company based out of the Fraser Valley of British Columbia. A natural born empath, clairsentient, clairvoyant, intuitive Counsellor and psychic advisor. Patty still does Paranormal Investigations as well as teaching workshops on how to interpret signs. You can talk to Isthemus at

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