News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

Choosing To Vibe With Your Tribe

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comFriends can become family, and family can become friends. Both can happen, but sadly family becoming friends sometimes never happens. There is no guarantee that being born into family will mean that the closest relationships that you will have will be with your siblings, or extended family. On the contrary, I receive many heartbreaking calls from clients who have persistently struggled trying to develop a relationship with their siblings, to no avail.

As a psychic, I can independently look at the energy of people’s family connections, and sometimes they were never meant to be close-knit, or best friends. In these cases, their personalities and the way they operate are often completely different. Attempts to create a relationship over the years may have miserable failed, and there is always one, or both, in that relationship who prefers to go to hurt and pain, rather than stepping back and looking objectively at the ways they separately think and operate.

When you operate from the heart, from an emotional place, the other person’s logic can seem cold and dismissive. To a ‘heart person,’ this is a fate worse than death! Each interaction and conversation cuts deeply. Meanwhile, for the logical person, the heart person is an emotional, scattered mess. They have maybe shown lack of direction or future planning, and in their minds have made bad decision after bad decision, and seemed to have learned nothing. But all of this couldn’t be further from the truth from either of their seats of judgment.

Family is supposed to be our safe heaven. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We may think we are not judgmental people, but I find the majority of us have a struggle in that arena most of the time.  Unfortunately we expect others to see what we see, and operate like we do. As soon as we come from that place, we set ourselves up for failure – not to mention, pushing our own agenda onto someone else.

Our world is filled with thinkers, artists, poets, creators, engineers, architects, healers, magicians and mystics. All are co-existing, all part and parcel of co-creating the world in which we live. Are they all best friends and have an understanding of each other’s ways of thinking and operating? No, not at all.

We pick our own tribes, and we vibe in the company of our tribes, no matter if they are blood-related ,or not! The hearts of the world feel warm and welcome in the presence of those who sway to the same music, feel the energies and speak their own language, known these days as “Butterfly”. On the other side, the linear thinkers of the world find support and camaraderie among their peers. To each his own.

Validation is what builds our self-identity and love creates the divine identity. No matter who your tribe is, all tribe members need both validation and love.

When validation has been missing from your childhood, it may not be until later in adulthood you find your tribe members. It may be long road, before you understand that the constant grief you feel when connecting with people you feel obligated to spend time with, is hurting you. It does not make you a bad person, or lacking in character, because you cannot create the relationship out of other’s expectations.

In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself ~ Deepak Chopra

Ask yourself, do you really like each other? Is this a healthy relationship? Can I confide in this person without judgment or being verbally attacked? If there are many negative answers to such questions, it’s more than healthy and okay to let those family members go with love. Their life is their journey, and just because you are related in no way makes you obligated to be good friends with them. It is not a moral failing, it is an awakening.

I have a dear friend who jokes about her annual “painful family dinners.” The annual Christmas, Thanksgiving and token birthday parties usually have her calling me from the bathroom… ranting and crying. She feels attacked as soon as she steps into the room. I have never witnessed it personally, but I have heard all about the after effects.

She is a very gifted psychic, and knows when she walks in she becomes the butt of their jokes. She is usually cut deeply by off-handed comments like, “When are you going to get a real job?” This is a woman who is sought-after as spiritual counselor for other psychics! Like many of us, we vibe with our tribes, and like many, her blood family does not respect who she is, or see her as the loving, ascended soul that she really is. With each exposure to her ferocious family, my question is always the same, “Why do you keep doing this to yourself?” Her answer is always the same, “I don’t know, obligation I guess?”

I have witnessed her preparing for days before every exposure to them, but sadly the outcome is always the same. She is a respected psychic’s psychic, and yet her personal struggle with her family connections have crushed her on many levels.

In a vision, I was wrapping her hands, for they were blistered. Then I looked at her and said, “You don’t have to keep touching it to know it is hot.” We were standing beside an old wood stove. Visions are always up for translation, though this particular one didn’t take much thought.

Families always have these unspoken dramas, and at holidays, everyone is supposed to sit down and pretend that none of that is going on ~ Richard LaGravenese

Validation is important, but know this, when you seek validation from a person who has never given you any, ever, your expectations for change is not just on them. It’s on you to realize that you cannot create a connection that does not exist. Letting go is easier then continuing to torture yourself.

It does mean you are a lesser person, or that they are. Your energies simply clash, more often than not. Usually it has been like that from the very beginning. The many attempts to create a connection have consistently failed. Accept that a connection cannot be created – it is either there or it is not. Sometimes through the veil and filters of misunderstandings, the clashing of energies, and mistreatment of each other, the judgment of each other take their toll… on top of an already existing underlying issue. The issue simply is, you were never meant to be close.

During this time of planetary retrogrades, eclipses and changing energies it is time to release the old and embrace the new.  Letting go of people whose presence in your life harm you, is not selfish. It is self-care. Care enough about self to do so. Then go out and vibe with your chosen tribe.

About The Author: Isthemus

Isthemus is an experienced psychic advisor with her own Metaphysical Company based out of the Fraser Valley of British Columbia. A natural born empath, clairsentient, clairvoyant, intuitive Counsellor and psychic advisor. Patty still does Paranormal Investigations as well as teaching workshops on how to interpret signs. You can talk to Isthemus at

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