News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

Into Me See, Or Great Avoidance Game?

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comLying About, well, everything. The Culture of Shame and Manipulation. So much thought, time, concentration and energy goes into creating and maintaining our ‘presentation’ as either a victim or being ‘positive.’ If there were PhD’s in these areas the majority of us would qualify.

Is it just this era, or has it always been this way? That is hard to tell, and on some level, irrelevant. It is here now.  People come for help. Then they ‘present.’

I have enormous money problems. You get them a job, but they have no time to work because they are “busy” with hobbies and “other things,” which they have decided are “more important” so they only show up one day of the week. Then they never come in for help again, because they have been ‘outed.’

Playing the victim is a toxic waste of time that not only repels other people, but also robs the victim of ever knowing true happiness ~ Bronnie Ware

Please help me get my daughter a job. You do. But only then find out she has gained 60 pounds and cannot move or lift anything, and the weight caused an eyesight problem so she also cannot see very well. You only discover this later, you are never told this outright. You lose credibility with the person who you convinced to offer them the job. They never come in for help again, because they have been ‘outed.’

A young transgender boy screams prejudice and homelessness. Resources are gathered and no one is told he is spending his grandmother’s money on ‘magic mushrooms,’ weed, and sushi. He has meanwhile scored a free mobile home to live in, and after months of legal actions, a service dog that he then gives to his 90-year-old grandmother to care for, because he “has no time to care for the dog.”  When ‘outed’ he finds yet another way to scream victim and actually calls the authorities on you – because he has been outed, not because you did something wrong.

On it goes. If you are a service provider in the helping professions, you have to work hard to not lose faith and to sort through the culture of presenting as a victim. And if you are a healer or clairvoyant, your work is doubled, should you even care to sort through the culture of, “I am a victim and therefore you need to help me.” And this does not translate into, “Please help me to help myself.” No, it is, “You have to help me. No matter what, or it is all your fault.” It is either said out loud (and even posted on the internet) or implied by the person leaving and never coming back.

It is not easy these days to help people, because lying, hiding, deceiving, lying to yourself, or manipulating your image to present as ‘positive,’ is the norm. If you try to penetrate this veil, you will be blamed for creating whatever ‘negativity’ (meaning whatever the person doesn’t like) that then comes up in the near future. Doctors get sued for this. Service providers are required (sometimes by law) to create hope, promote or even promise ‘positivity’, and discouraged to offer solutions that take hard work, effort and commitment. And definitely not anything that would require a person to look at what they might need to learn first, before moving on.

Instead you are expected to offer solutions like taking meds instead of taking care of your body, which will alleviate your depression or many physical health issues. We created cancer with cigarettes, then we invented a billion dollar cancer ‘treatment’ industry. We have created a culture of lies.  Present as ‘positive’ no matter your reality. Present as a victim, rather than lift a finger to help yourself. And now we have numerous billion dollar industries to soothe the symptoms of victimhood: pharmaceuticals, addiction treatments, sexual enhancements (including children), social media presentations, new age spirituality, and the list goes on.

Spiritual folks are not immune to these cultural influences. They cannot even be honest with their guides, Spirit, God, when the focus has been drummed into their heads to ‘be positive’ and ‘move forward’ at all cost. By the way, since when does spirituality have a forward? How can humans decide what is spiritually forward? Doesn’t Spirit have to present that to us? Or do we think we know better? So says the three-year-old child to her mother, “I know better.”

The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished ~ Steve Maraboli

The great sadness in all of this is the death of intimacy: Into Me See (IMS). Instead we have the Great Avoidance Game (GAG).  No wonder loneliness is driving people to drink, drugs, meds, addictions and suicide. You cannot even be friends with your Self. If no one is home inside of you, even Spirit cannot get through that. You have closed the gates to heavenly help. And because you have free will, Spirit cannot force a way in. Spirit cannot make you look at your Self, face all of what you are, strengths and weaknesses, miracles and mistakes, the beauty and the beast, and teach you acceptance and love for all of what you are. As if you are somehow a mistake that Spirit made (and the arrogance of thinking you can judge that).

Lying is shame-based behavior. Shame makes us sick, literally. We lie, we feel shame, which makes us want to lie, or hide, or isolate, or increase our addictions, so we can shut down our feelings, and so we lie even more. It is a journey into the abyss. It is addictive behavior. After a while, we don’t even know anymore what is a lie, and what is honest, and the only thing we can feel is the drugs or alcohol we consume, or the other addictions we feed.

Intimacy is terrifying, and magnificent. It is the basis for out-of-this-world love-making (rather than fake or mechanical sex). It is the door to the ecstasy of meditation (making the drug ecstasy irrelevant) and other phenomenal energetic experiences that you can achieve when reaching out to Source.

Honesty is the basis of all intimacy: human, energetic, Spiritual. Being honest will create hours of free time for you daily, as you no longer have to think about, create, and maintain lies for each and every person in your life, as well as for yourself and in your presentation to Spirit. You can relax and breathe. You are now free to feel and enjoy those feelings, and make choices rather than automatically GAG by choosing complex avoidance moves.

If you are addicted to GAG, no matter what spiritual practice you layer on top, no matter how many other people you are convincing of your image (including your children, spouse, lovers, friends) your shame grows, because you know, you know, they all are having a relationship with the false fake version of you, whom you have created and wear every day to the point even you think it is really your own skin. The thought of dismantling the lies and authentically emerging as you, is not only terrifying, but will seem impossible. You will see only the potential for loss. You fear that everyone will leave you once they find out who you really are. Maybe people will want you to ‘pay’ for the deceptions, and no one will ever trust you again.

It is enormously difficult to crawl out of GAG into IMS. You cannot do this alone, ever. You can start through prayer, but if you have been addicted to GAG behavior, or perhaps you grew up with it via your parents (and you are now passing it on to your own children) you will not even know what honesty is and you will not be able to handle the feelings that will start to emerge, because GAG is your addiction to not feeling your own feelings, never mind having to handle the reactive feelings of people you love confronted with your emergence into honesty.

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection ~ Brené Brown

If you are addicted to GAG, you are between a rock and a hard place. Many people wait until they are ‘outed.’ They then typically run and hide to find a new audience to ‘present’ to, like a narcissist or sociopath moving from one victim to another or an alcoholic moving from one lover or spouse to another. Many people wait until they are in unbearable pain and then blow up the relationships around them, and sometimes blow up themselves like a terrified animal running from a wild fire.

A minority, longing for a deeper, richer life experience, craving a spiritual connection, looking for meaning in their life, will walk into this journey of Into Me See. Please, see me. Help me find my Self. If you go to a true Healer or Teacher be prepared to be pissed off, feel threatened, scared, as well as noticing instant relief, and changes in the quality of your day-to-day existence.

The journey to ecstasy and deep connections to people and Spirit comes in layers: clearing before expansion, challenging emotions before embracing emotions. IMS instead of GAG takes great courage, time and patience. It is and will become a way of life, replacing GAG. It means you do not run away. Sometimes the best you can do is to hold still (Yin energy). Other times you will be flying. You will finally be able to feel Spirit and receive true guidance, as you as a channel will be open, and clear, ready to receive instead of conniving to deceive, as in your old way of the GAG live.

I can only tell you it is totally worth the journey. You are totally worth it. Are you ready to be in love with your Self? Are you ready to meet You? Open the door, reach out, take a step. Have courage. Have faith. Have patience. And don’t run away. Don’t give up.

About The Author: Nonna

Nonna lives in Southern California, and is a professor of psychology and a teacher of psychic development, energy work and meditation, who has recently finished her PhD. She has been a counselor for both humans and animals for thirty years, removing energy blocks through her expertise in the spiritual arts. She also has numerous years of study and practice with classic psychological therapeutic models, family work, twelve-step processes, nutritional and body/mind/spirit healing, complementary, alternative, and quantum medicine. Nonna is brilliant at unearthing the gems in every client's soul and polishing them to a fine finish. To release your own soul's sparkle, contact Nonna at

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