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Loving The Emotionally Unavailable Person

click here to get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who’s emotionally unavailable, you know how hard it is to get close to that person. People who are emotionally unavailable are evasive.

In the beginning the emotionally unavailable person starts out with flattery, flirting and wooing, but this typically lasts only a short while. They can even offer you a lot of self-disclosure and initially show their vulnerable side, but beware! The emotionally unavailable prefer the chase instead of the catch.

Control is another must for the emotionally unavailable person. They can very inflexible with their schedules and you find that you’re always the one doing all the work and fitting yourself into their schedule.

A tell-tale sign of an emotionally unavailable man is a lack of empathy ~ Kristina Marchant

Emotionally unavailable people talk about the past and their past relationships, and usually blame their ex and find fault with the behaviors of others. This stems from their need for perfectionism. This is one of their most difficult traits to overcome, as you never seem like you can measure up.

To an emotionally unavailable person, emotional manipulation is the dish of the day. They use as anger or rudeness to control others. They can act cocky and arrogant. They tend to be chronically late and often believe rules do not apply to them. They can be inappropriately invasive, while they are being evasive.

The most scary thing about emotionally unavailable people is that they can be very seductive and charming. Attention and seduction can be very difficult for men and women when they’re in the dating scene. Why? because the emotionally unavailable person appears to be so authentic. But when things do get real, they bail.

One of the signs that point to a person possibly being emotionally unavailable is when the beginning of the relationship is fast and furious, but then it quickly dissipates. The one reason for this is often that an emotionally unavailable person doesn’t believe that they have enough to keep their new partner. Another possible reason is that the seducer is more into the power play and conquest, and once they feel that they have obtained the object of their desire they sabotage the relationship.

The person that falls in love with an emotionally unavailable person usually winds up getting into a cycle called ‘the emotional chase.’ Because that’s exactly what it is. They wind up chasing the person to get them to do the same things that they did in the beginning. They try and recreate the original feelings that they felt with this person – usually because the emotionally unavailable person is still stringing them along.

It’s really important that we pay attention when dating. Pay attention to the signals and the cues that someone gives off. Try not to rush into a relationship too soon. This can be really hard, because an emotionally available person gives so much attention and so much focus that it feels fantastic. Then we find ourselves overlooking or denying or trying to rationalize away their behaviors. This only leads to a broken heart.

Most people reveal their emotional availability early on. Pay attention to the facts, especially if there’s mutual attraction ~ Darlene Lancer

Be honest with yourself about your own availability. Remember like attracts like. If you find yourself involved with a person who is emotionally unavailable, it may be time to look at yourself. People that are emotionally available are looking for someone else that is emotionally available as well.

When you find yourself caught in the trap of trying to recreate the beginning of the relationship and constantly chasing what used to be… you are most likely in a relationship with someone who’s emotionally unavailable. It’s also an indicator that you may be emotionally unavailable yourself, because you’re spending so much time chasing, instead of actually being.

However, if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable there is hope. I’m not talking about having been on a few dates with somebody and they ‘ghost’ you. I’m talking about being involved with somebody for a while and you just don’t feel like you’re getting everything that you want and need. It’s very important that we don’t get hung up and caught up in the chasing.

In order to develop an authentic, lasting connection with an emotionally unavailable person, you need to be patient with them and accept them for exactly who they are. It’s also important that you begin to share relevant experiences. Sharing relevant experiences actually helps them open up and feel comfortable. Talk to them about things that they can relate to, but by all means do not ask them where the relationship is going or how they’re feeling about you. You’re going to lose them in a split second and they’re going to go run and hide.

You cannot have any expectations and it’s going to feel awkward and uncomfortable. But if this is the person that you love you may find that eventually the emotionally unavailable person wants to become emotionally available to you. They may never be completely emotionally open and available to you. That is something that you need to recognize and accept.

We must stop trying to change people and begin ‘where we are.’ You have to accept people for exactly who they are or you’re just going to kill the relationship. And at the end of the day, you’ll feel like you wasted time among a plethora of other emotions that are not so pleasant.

If you find yourself involved with someone like this and you don’t want to be in the relationship, just remember to love them for who they are. People are doing the best they can and although it doesn’t sometimes appear that way, you never know what someone else has gone through in their life. It goes back to the old adage: until you have walked a mile in somebody else’s shoes you cannot now their journey. Being more forgiving, more loving and offering more kindness can actually move mountains. Never forget the power of love.

About The Author: Jacklyn

Jacklyn is able to read the heart and energy patterns of others, uncovering the true intentions that create their realities. She lives in Northern California, where she's counseled over 3000 clients, and has worked with police on missing person and cold cases. She's read for clients around the world, consistently astonishing them with her abilities. An expert in Tarot, Astrology and Dream Interpretation, for over thirty-five years, she's utilized these tools to see, hear and feel messages on just about every subject. Jacklyn is a firm believer that we are the creators of our own lives and knows that Miracles are built on faith. As long as you believe, anything is possible! If you'd like a reading with this Intuitive Wonder, you can reach Jacklyn at

One Response to Loving The Emotionally Unavailable Person

  • This has to be the best article I have read about this subject! And I have been pursuing information about the emotionally unavailable person for a long time because I am in the middle of a relationship with one and recognize my own limitations. Thank you for doing such an excellent job in offering this. There are days when I want to give up on the relationship altogether. But I am still here pursuing an answer.

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