News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

Dealing With That Shadow Friend

Click picture to get a free reading at PsychicAccess.comSo, you have that empath pal. Your ‘BFF.’ You know, the perfect girlfriend, the person who understands you through and through? Well, think again! That cute acquaintance, co-worker or online friend, may seep into your life and soon control everything – the material you write, the art you produce, the life you live, the people you see, the work you do, the people you date, the people you talk to. And I am talking people you never chose to meet.

A good number of aggressive stalkers are female, in my opinion. I have found that female stalkers are almost as prevalent in number as men. There is however much more awareness and activism when it comes to violence against women when committed by men. I also agree that more can be done to mitigate violence against women, but nothing has been done against perpetrators of violence by women against women. Why is that?

Unless and until our society recognizes cyber bullying for what it is, the suffering of thousands of silent victims will continue ~ Anna Maria Chavez

Female stalkers are very focused and very deliberate. And they are not taken seriously, due to socialization and laws. I have a lot of female followers, so I do not get frustrated by them. Also they are clients, so I tend to take it in stride.

They come in two categories. Perhaps they are admirers, perhaps they want to emulate, yet I am trying to understand what to do with the anima types – the overwhelming, mothering types that are clinging to all aspects of my life.

They present as childlike personalities. A client and I were having this conversation the other day. How do we as caregivers or counselors not take on people who want to emulate, copy or adhere to us? Is that our destiny? To always look after children?

You end up with instant psychic BFF’s who want to take on every movement, every aspect of you, and everything you own. In the shadow of your being, they will guess your moods, identity and make a mockery, oftentimes getting it wrong and making fools of themselves. Vexing you, but mostly burning up your time.

Some people will call this bullying, I put it into the zone of criminal harassment. I do have a good number of clients and friends who do not exhibit this type of behavior, so I have to wonder how one can lessen encounters with individuals like this?

In truth, this is a huge problem for some with that best friend or acquaintance. She could mimic you, and isolate you, pretend to know you, anticipate your thoughts, and try and use you, prevent you from thinking, feeling, and anticipate your moods and feelings. You would feel cared for, while that best friend destroys and savages your life.

There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that ~ Joss Whedon

This is also the zone of the ‘creepy psychic.’ I have had to deal with the really bad ones – the ones that feel they can control your mind, and who do not always get it right. Many of us are entitled to good friends, but what do we do with people who assume complete control over our lives and who belittle, or mimic us?

This is not adverse to gender entirely, but in the relocations and travels I have made this year, I encountered it several times. This is, en masse in fact, people who like to be different selves, but who will abuse you in the process. The idea of mimicking emotional states should never be confused for empathy or taken as a compliment. It’s almost industrial, and people could be ‘fans’ or hellacious scammers. This places public figures and anyone in the arts or entertainment industry, in a dangerous position.

Empathic individuals would never cause pain or manipulate someone. They make mistakes, but they usually correct their behavior and do not perpetuate it. They tend to be good at discerning emotional states, but they would never use it to injure you, or the people you love. They would never in truth, having felt pain, use it to leverage pain against you.

Look, I have thousands of clients, and I find it never is my clients that really bother me. I find it usually is, within a circle of people you do not really know. So, does one take a compliment when a random stranger likes you? No!

I have found too, that people that mimic empathy are generally able to deliver doses of manipulation that can destroy all aspects of one’s life, but theirs too. They are loners often devoid of love or friends. They threaten when they don’t get their way. And victims are purposely left in the same state of their devastation. They will take everything from you, these ‘good BFFS,’ leaving you with little, knowing everything about you, shadowing you, making you feel like they are your only sentinel preventing you from finding true counsel and good, real friends. In fact, they are trying to get you to mimic their sense of isolation and self-destruction!

I’ve realized that you become a bully if you are just watching someone get bullied and you don’t say anything. Speak up! ~ Emma Roberts

They can be obsessive and often do study their victim for years, to augment the loss of themselves by damaging your life, to justify the emotional violence they perpetrate against other people, or that they feel has been perpetrated against them. I am writing this in a serious tone for many of the other victims of acquaintance stalking.

When you come across people that are smart at being able to detail emotional states, they may not be empathic at all. Or even telepathic. They may just be emotional manipulators. Sometimes psychopaths are very good at mimicry, and you will find one common trait: controlling, fixed and focused on their victim, devoid of depression with concurrent personality disorders, with the need for a high degree of arousal in the form of harming you to feel alive themselves.

Truly, these people feel no empathy. And with the studies done on psychopathy, they really truly feel they do feel and understand you. Yet, their actions betray them. Watch their behavior, that is the true marker. And remember your intuition – your fear is healthy, it will guide you!

In a highly indigo world, where we are finally tuning into each other, understand that no one is really that weak, that there are people out there that look fragile, but that can harm, and that may mimic psychic states and empathy. Let this be a cautionary tale. It happens. Be cautious, and talk about it. Write about it. It is not simply ‘bullying’ it can be criminal. And if not, they will not go away.

© Carmen Miro 2017

About The Author: Carmen Miro

Carmen’s waking dreams have provided accurate glimpses into the future for celebrities as well as political and international figures. Her non-judgmental, Empathic approach, as well as her unique method of Tarot reading, affords her the reputation as a groundbreaker in her field. This European born Canadian is the first online psychic to promote the idea of Empathy and emotional thought transference, and she has written a great deal on the subject. For a comprehensive Intuitive reading that will transform your life, you can find Carmen at

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Our Sponsor

Blog Authors