About 10 years ago, a friend of mine went to see a psychic in Cuba. It was a completely spontaneous decision made on the spot. She walked into the dusty old store and sat down. The old woman who was doing the reading handed her an old deck of Tarot cards. They were so worn that the figures on the cards were unrecognizable.
The old woman handed her the deck and said in broken English, “Hold them to your heart and place them face down when you are done.” My friend did as she was instructed.
The old lady studied the Tarot spread for a moment and said, “Heartache is making your body sick… broken….from a man that couldn’t love you. He had the broken disease and he gave it to you.” She closed her eyes and shook her head not looking up, “He left you for another.” Shaking her crooked finger back and forth she pointed at my friend, paused, and with piercing black eyes firmly said, “Leave it behind you and you will heal. Keep it in your heart and it will kill you.”
Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different ~ Stacey Charter
My friend began to sob gutturally. She was convulsing as she released the pain that she had held for almost 20 years. She had met her husband in law school and one day he decided he wanted to change career paths, to become an actor. He won a very prominent role on a series that lasted a decade. She bent over backward for him. The children they had together was her world.
She was accomplished, but not consummate enough. She was slim, but not slender enough. She was intelligent and well-read, but not smart or educated enough. She was also now 45, and he had found another, younger woman, who he said was enough. My friend was tormented. Not by her husband or his new lover, but by her own thoughts of not being enough. She exercised, took very good care of herself, was very well-spoken and was killing herself to try to make him see that she was enough.
“Enough what?” I would ask her.
He was old too and no matter how much he colored his hair black, it was obvious he was still over 50. In Hollywood that is considered a major bummer and he got booted from a pretty popular TV show. He was no longer considered ‘hot,’ but he was still handsome. Young girls would refer to him as, “that older guy,” which drove him mad and made him color any grey hair he had. My friend couldn’t see this. She could only see that he didn’t think she was enough.
Six months before she left for Cuba, she was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis and Fibromyalgia. She could barely get herself out of bed. She had separated from her husband because he wanted to live with his new lover. Her kids would fend for themselves in the morning, because her thin, frail body was tired of the messages that it wasn’t ‘enough.’
She came to me for a reading and I said, “You need to travel and you need to heal, and you need to be thankful that you are no longer living in that marriage that was like a dark closet. But you can’t see this yet. You are broken and have given him your power.”
My friend is a well known photographer in New York City and Los Angeles. What she didn’t know was that her soon to be ex-husband couldn’t hold a candle to her talent. She was drowning in insurance bills and medical expenses, and needed a good dose of this Cuban psychic.
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity and an understanding of life that fills them with compassions, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen ~ Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Energy jumps from one person to another and we can take on the neurosis of another person if we let them get under our skin. When we love them so much that we side-line our own self-worth, our bodies will reflect and begin to believe what the other person is telling us.
She called me when she landed in Florida and told me what the Cuban psychic had told her. “You have a choice,” I said. “You can continue to try to be seen as enough, which in his eyes will never happen. Why? Because you both have created a pattern in this relationship and have roles of ‘victim and victimizer.’ You are his victim and he is your victimizer and it has become so toxic that this woman told you that you have the choice to heal it, or to choose to take your own self out. It’s that harsh and it is that simple.”
My friend said, “How do I know I am not meant to die from this disease anyway?”
“Look,” I said, “everyone dies and that’s not the point. You won’t know unless you decide to fight back, kick some ass and take yourself back. As long as you keep seeing yourself as ‘not enough’ he will continue to treat you the same way. You have to change.”
When she returned to her home she began to purge her home of everything that reminded her of her ex such as the clothes he insisted she wear. Things that they purchased together went into storage. If he wanted to speak to her about the kids, he went through her attorney. If he so much wanted anything, he had to go through a person that she used as a buffer, until she began to feel empowered.
She created a box into which she would write down the things she needed to let go of and throw it in the box. She called that the “Laundry” and then later created a glass jar that she called her “God Box.” The God Box was for the things she needed, but was willing to let God manifest in her life in God’s way, not her way.
Four months later she was feeling lighter and had more energy. She met a wonderful new man and began enjoying his company, the doctors even reduced her medications and she was asked to do another show.
It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others ~ Sidney J. Harris
On the opening day of her show, her ex-husband, who she had not interacted with for about eight months, showed up uninvited, sought her out, put his face about three inches from hers and said, “Is this the best you can do? It lacks creativity!”
She cut him off mid-sentence and said, “I have done better than you and you are right, you lacked creativity. You couldn’t even think of something different to say to me about my work, but I am the one showing, not you.”
He stood incredulous and his mouth hit the floor. She told him that he was pathetically weak and mean-spirited, but that she forgave him and would continue to forgive him no matter how he insulted her, or tried to control her through fear, or by putting her down.
He stopped speaking to her for months, but eventually apologized. She had stopped feeding his demon and she had changed. She uses her Laundry Box and God Box to this day as her way of letting go and offering it to the Divine. Anytime she feels fear, or thinks about what she needs to release or pull into her life, she reminds herself that she has let it go to a higher power, which will always bring something so much better that she could ever have imagined.
Let go of what you think the outcome should be, let the Divine work for you. It is never really us anyway, it is what works through us. We don’t need to strong-arm something or someone, we can lift it up and stay open to the flow with a loving heart.
| PsychicAccess.com.Jacklyn is able to read the heart and energy patterns of others, uncovering the true intentions that create their realities. She lives in Northern California, where she’s counseled over 3000 clients, and has worked with police on missing person and cold cases. She’s read for clients around the world, consistently astonishing them with her abilities. An expert in Tarot, Astrology and Dream Interpretation, for over thirty-five years, she’s utilized these tools to see, hear and feel messages on just about every subject. Jacklyn is a firm believer that we are the creators of our own lives and knows that Miracles are built on faith. As long as you believe, anything is possible! If you’d like a reading with this Intuitive Wonder, you can reach Jacklyn at |
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