Humans have an electro-magnetic energy field, which is why we have medical technology like magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans. In Chinese philosophy and Taoism it is believed that this energy field consists of the dualistic energies of Yin and Yang. They are direct opposites, but also interdependent and complimentary to each other. We need good a balance of the two for optimal well-being, happiness and personal fulfillment.
Yang energy is the electric, active energy, full of outward movement. Too much Yang can make a person overbearing, impatient, impulsive. American culture tends to worship Yang energy. Think of slogans like “Just do it” and “No fear.”
Your complaints, your drama, your victim mentality, your whining, your blaming, and all of your excuses have NEVER gotten you even a single step closer to your goals or dreams ~ Steve Maraboli
Yin is magnetic and has the power to attract, to create stillness, the vacuum. It is the silence that pulls in opportunities and listens to Spirit. Yin energy is cultivated in practicing meditation and martial arts like Tai Chi and Chi Quong.
When someone’s Yin energy is out of balance, it manifests as inert, passive-aggressive, or manipulative behavior, rather than straightforward communication. Often people who are financially supported or excessively dominated by others become too Yin in their energy expression. Typically, survivors of abuse also become overly Yin, as that may be the only way for them to survive.
You will also notice high Yin with children and pets who live in an exceedingly aggressive environment. These children and pets are often described as “well-behaved,” but if you tune into their energy you will feel the disproportionate Yin survival energy of these beings.
Yin people will look to read others’ needs and then speak the words that will please them, or at the very least try to not anger or even irritate them. It is hard to get an authentic opinion or reaction from an extremely Yin person. In fact, over the years, super Yin people lose the ability to even know their own feelings.
Yin people typically respond in conversations with non-descript reactions such as “okay” or “I see,” in order to stay invisible, and out of trouble. With a super Yin person one often has the sense that you have no idea who this person is. You may find yourself, choosing where to eat, what to do, and then paying for everything, as the Yin person creates more and more of a passive vacuum which they now habitually believe to be the only way to survive life, relationships and human encounters.
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself ~ Harvey Fierstein
It is easier to move an out of balance Yang person into a better Yin-Yang balance, than to heal an out of balance Yin person. Particularly if the Yin person has gotten rewards for being Yin, such as being pitied and taken care of by others, being financially supported, being more sexually desirable as a non-entity or a non-challenging Yin sex partner.
An overly Yin person will strive to be perfect in bed, and not express any needs or desires, so their partner feels like a super lover. That behavior often gets rewarded with more presents, a bigger house, not having to work, and so forth. This creates a looped cycle of reward which is very hard to break. In its extreme form, it can be described as prostitution.
Overly Yin people have to bury who they really are, or they have been buried by another through domination or abuse. Over time, they literally forget and completely lose touch with their true feelings, needs, desires. In relationship dynamic people like this fit the description of codependent, enabler, or even victim. Sometimes, when overly Yin people have a breakdown, they become narcissistic, sociopathic, and even violent, as all the pent up repressions come roaring out.
Be aware of the Yin red flags if you do not want to find yourself subject to the firestorm of a repressed out of balance Yin person having an explosive, reactive and often vengeful outburst or breakdown. If a person seems to pull too much Yang behavior out of you, such as paying for things, solving their problems, finding solutions, and making all the decisions, you may want to reconsider your options. If you are carrying most of the conversation and the responsibilities, and you somehow end up as the ‘bad guy’ anyway, because you did not handle things perfectly, you might want to pull back from that relationship.
The only way to work with an out of balance Yin person, who is not in any sort of recovery, is to ‘out Yin’ them. Stop ‘doing’ everything in the relationship. Step back. And no matter what, stop fixing anything – conversations, problems, disagreements. Stop making the majority of the decisions. The overly Yin person will not stop until it causes you pain and lasting damage. You solving their problems, or rewarding the behavior, will only enable their behavior.
| PsychicAccess.com.Nonna lives in Southern California, and is a professor of psychology and a teacher of psychic development, energy work and meditation, who has recently finished her PhD. She has been a counselor for both humans and animals for thirty years, removing energy blocks through her expertise in the spiritual arts. She also has numerous years of study and practice with classic psychological therapeutic models, family work, twelve-step processes, nutritional and body/mind/spirit healing, complementary, alternative, and quantum medicine. Nonna is brilliant at unearthing the gems in every client’s soul and polishing them to a fine finish. To release your own soul’s sparkle, contact Nonna at |
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