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Surviving A Relationship Break-Up

Get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comFinding true love is hard. Literally. At times it feels like you have hit a cement wall, but it happens, and it hurts. The pain of love that once was, and is now unrequited, is not something one would wish on your worst enemies.

You may have loved with the hope and possibility of your love being returned, but instead you loved someone who just didn’t feel the same way. Or, you loved someone deeply, who also loved you in return, and then for some unknown reason, they turned off the switch.

When this happens, you are hurt in ways that are unimaginable and extremely bewildering. This person loved you and you loved them. Maybe they met someone new? Maybe their love was never real? Whatever the case, you’re left in excruciating pain.

The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is ~ Tigress Luv

When love is lost we find ourselves reviewing the conversations over and over in our mind. Where did it go wrong? What should I have done that I didn’t do? What did I do that I shouldn’t have? Your thoughts drive you crazy. You don’t eat and you don’t sleep. You’re a hot mess. You feel rejected and wonder if there is something really wrong with you. You even wonder what you could do to make this person want you!

I often don’t get enough time to talk through energy with my psychic reading callers – how we exchange energy and change it with people in our lives. The spiritual message I want to impart here is this: if you love a person who doesn’t come close to being what you are, you are going to have a hard time understanding it if you are not recognizing that they do not vibrate at your level.

Why? Because hormones and chemicals, and your five senses, are in overload screaming, “I love you!” What’s to understand? You need to understand it and you will when you are ready.

In the early stages, your mind shuts off, or you crumble completely at the thought that you are no longer together. You even feel that you are going crazy. This is why the J. Geils Band wrote the song Love Stinks… and we all sing along.

Your mate just fell out of love one day? Or later tells you that they never fell in love the way that you did? They stumble through their explanation, but nothing is going to make you feel better except for, “I love you and want to come back.”

It is the most baffling when the person hasn’t left us for another, but just wants to be left alone and no longer feels the same. There isn’t anyone else; there’s no concrete reason. Your lover simply said, “I want out.”

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together ~ Marilyn Monroe

Your mind starts reeling, you can’t get your head around it and you scream, “Wait… you’re choosing nothing over me? What happened to the promises we made to each other? You said that you wanted what I wanted. It’s impossible to just fall out of love, there has to be a reason right? You were crazy about me, I made you feel secure, I rocked your world and you said it made you feel secure?” But your rant just falls on deaf ears and a closed heart.

Perhaps you need to look at this differently. Perhaps you are ignoring that your ex has changed their mindset, their thinking, and their energy patterns. They have taken up drinking, gambling, porn, excessive partying. This kind of behavior will change the energetic patterns of the person.

Perhaps they are depressed and hate their job, and are self-absorbed. You were blinded by ‘doing life’ and didn’t realize that you had grown apart. You want to save the relationship, but they want out. Instead of wanting forgiveness for cheating and treating you terribly, they want out. How can that be?

A major life changing event, such as a death in the family, loss of employment, demotion, an accident, or a recent divorce, can be hard for someone to bounce back from. It does not matter what it is, what matters is that their pain is acknowledged by you. That you understand with an open heart the very thing that you missed – they were in pain. Now you want to help carry the burden. You beg them to help and they clearly do not want it.  More rejection.

You are angry, you are hurt, your personality is humorless and glum, your friends are so bored with you and tired of listening to you drone on about unrequited love. Life I rushing by and you are certain you will never be happy again, or find someone else to love or that loves you. You go back and forth thinking it will change and then fall into despair that it will never change. It’s done.

At first you don’t believe it. You make up a 100 excuses for this behavior and a million reasons why this is not about you. It has to be another person or romantic flirtation, midlife crisis. Or I just need to wait it out, they will come back, they will see the light. And sometimes they do, but it isn’t going to happen by simply waiting.

Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant ~ Paulo Coelho

Usually it’s time to let go completely of the other person and do something new. It’s time to think about this differently, it’s time to renew yourself, and reject the rejecter. That’s right: reject the rejection and the rejector!

You need to let the feelings come up, accept them, accept what is first. Then, look at yourself and take a spiritual inventory and ask yourself who you have become. Then set out to make your life better. First look within and take the focus off of your ex-lover and shift your energy back to self.

A spiritual journey doesn’t look a certain way. It can be trekking in the Peruvian mountains, going to the gym daily, meditation, taking Yoga, traveling, reading Wayne Dyer books, redecorating your house or gardening. It’s what you need to do for you. You shift your energy from only thinking about how you are meant to be with your ex, to feeling, thinking and doing something that fills your soul. Find your soul self by listening to the inner silence that brings to ear the messages from the divine. It will love you, guide you and lead you where you need to go.

When negative thoughts come up, stop them in their tracks. Purge yourself of all thoughts that make you feel badly. It’s time to go back to acceptance and doing nothing but focus on self. You need to reject the person that rejected you. Reject their rejection. Forget about changing for them, or changing your whole life for a person who doesn’t appreciate you. You have to love yourself first. You have to live within yourself and if you don’t like you, they won’t either. If they want you to change for them, they don’t appreciate you. Forget them!
There might be things that you need to improve on but it is a lovable, worthwhile person who is willing to look at those things and change them. And if you do not value all that you are and all that you can be, there is only one attitude that makes sense: you’re in the wrong relationship with the wrong person.

Be in a relationship with yourself first. Empower yourself, embrace yourself and release any thoughts or people that make you believe you are not worthwhile. You want someone who knows you are the end-all-be-all, not just ‘in the meantime’ or who is maybe ‘not Mr. Right, but Mr. Right now.’ Or worse… friends with benefits – what is that exactly? Never mind, it rarely works for women anyway, because when we like a man, we want to be with  that man as a partner.

Don’t waste time with anyone who doesn’t see how great you are or that you have to convince that you are wonderful. It’s hard and it hurts, but let them go. Until you meet a partner (or your ex-partner returns after seeing the light) who values you and sees how amazing you are, get the love you need from yourself, pets, family, friends and things you enjoy doing and being.

You must be good to yourself as you move on from someone who does not value you enough to want an exclusive, romantic relationship with you. Become the person you always wanted to be and know who you are deeply within your soul. That’s where true love begins.

About The Author: Jacklyn

Jacklyn is able to read the heart and energy patterns of others, uncovering the true intentions that create their realities. She lives in Northern California, where she's counseled over 3000 clients, and has worked with police on missing person and cold cases. She's read for clients around the world, consistently astonishing them with her abilities. An expert in Tarot, Astrology and Dream Interpretation, for over thirty-five years, she's utilized these tools to see, hear and feel messages on just about every subject. Jacklyn is a firm believer that we are the creators of our own lives and knows that Miracles are built on faith. As long as you believe, anything is possible! If you'd like a reading with this Intuitive Wonder, you can reach Jacklyn at

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