The first week that I started working on Psychic Access, I took a call from a woman who became a regular client. She called me to discuss the return of her ex-husband. She wanted to put the relationship back together. It appeared that he did not. There was not much effort on his part to even communicate with her.
When she had first called me, they had been apart for about two years. For someone looking upon this from the outside, it looked dismal. Her friends politely told her that “she may need to think about moving on.” But she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, whichever you prefer, because she wanted to get back together with Michael. She tried had dating other men and she hated it. It only made her feel she wanted and missed Michael all the more.
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers ~ Robert Quillen
Sound familiar? Yeah, I am not an advocate of chasing something that you don’t want either. That is its own recipe for disaster, because you are only trying to appease other people’s ideas of what you should be doing. I do not advocate using other people energy to fill your void. I advocate finding the void and filling it with loving yourself more and seek the God force within. Loving yourself more does not mean finding a new love. It is simply about loving yourself more; accepting and acknowledging who you are right where you are.
In other words, when my client was struggling with the loss of her relationship with Michael, she focused a lot on him, not herself. She obsessed on what he was doing and did not pay attention to the fact that she was dispersing her energy to get someone who at the time did not want her. He had left her for another woman. But it is not about “the other woman.” The relationship had fractured somewhere before the other woman was even an idea.
Nevertheless, the other woman (or other man) always burns and leaves a deep scar. It is up to us to decide what that scar is going to mean to us. The question is how will we choose to use this? Will it make us stronger, wiser and better? Or will be become the bitter party of one?
They were together for many years. The communication had broken down and, as in many relationships, the communication had stagnated because they were not growing. They had stagnated not only as a couple, but as individuals. They were bored, boring to each other and resented each other for their boredom and that they had become boring.
Two years into post-divorce, my client called me for a reading. She had one question, would she and Michael get back together? Simple answer: Yes. As we continued to read over the months, one thing became clear… her energy was not changing. She was overly focused on Michael. She was literally strangling the possibility out of reconciliation, by holding on so tightly. I told her that if she continued to remain the same, holding the same resentment with the same attitude and tone, chances are this won’t work.
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Relationships are connections between people. Energy, thoughts, feelings, words and actions travel faster than you can blink an eye. Although you cannot see it, it’s happening. Humans are like megaphones. Our thought and energy resonates and vibrates and when we project our stuff toward someone that we have been intimate with, and they feel it.
In time we discussed how she could shift her thoughts and energy. Taking the old feelings off of Michael and putting them into something that would benefit her life. We also discussed facing her old thoughts, fears and anxieties that have caused her to continue old negative patterns. These patterns and reactions can kill relationships. If you don’t grow, the relationship doesn’t grow. What happens to a plant whose roots are not getting nutrients? It dies.
Looking at her old patterns took the most time, because when we have been doing these things for so long, we don’t even know we do them. We are too accustomed to thinking it’s “out there” and “other people.” It was the most important, impacting and necessary process. She had to face herself. Then, she had to choose to either accept, reject or change what she saw. It was her choice. I suggested accepting what she saw so that she could then transform the negative patterns into something positive that resonated with what she wanted. Habits can be easily broken once you can see them (for the most part).
As she began to let go and shift her perceptions, so did the readings and even the timing changed. But on the outside, it seemed like nothing was changing. She had no contact with Michael or his friends to confirm the readings. It felt as if we were feeling our way through the dark. There seemed to be no movement. I began to wonder, “How many more times can I tell someone that he is going to reach out and that he wants to see her and reconcile? Yet, nothing is happening.”
There were glimmers of hope and the last conversation that we had made me feel like I sounded like a broken record. So, we talked more about inner change and the fact that people have work to do when they are apart, and if one does not change, the other will move on as the vibrations will not match….ad infinitum.
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness ~ Robert Muller
Four days later, she called me with great news. Michael had reached out and they were going on a date. I was so shocked that all I could utter was that I was just shocked. It had been so long and there was so much that was worked on that it felt anti-climactic. I am very deeply grateful that she finally was on her way. I am also happy that she is happy and so pleasantly surprised.
She did the work she needed to do on herself in order to reconnect with the man she loved. It was not easy, as she had to look at herself and drop the habits that she had picked up over the years to protect and guard herself. Her reactions became calm responses that stemmed from compassion and understanding. She softened the hard edges of resentment and was on her way to forgiving Michael for leaving her for another woman. It was not until she unconditionally forgave him and let go that he spun back around. It was in the letting go, the very last step in the process, that the change occurred. She had said to me, “I know that I am to be with him, I know that he is who I love and I love him enough to let him go…. if I do not make him happy.” In that knowing, she let go of the past and stood in the now.
True forgiveness is challenging. It forces us to open our hearts. Opening our hearts is about loving without expectation that we will be loved back. Love certainly does not demand that it is loved back. If it did, it wouldn’t be love now would it? Love just loves. It also forgives, because love cannot exist where there is not forgiveness. Now you may say, I will not forget that I was harmed and I will tell you that when you love, you realize that love does not hold onto that pain. It loves the pain to health. Love heals. Our job is to do the work. Our job is to be willing to let go and to love. Proverbs 4:23 states, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”
| PsychicAccess.com.Jacklyn is able to read the heart and energy patterns of others, uncovering the true intentions that create their realities. She lives in Northern California, where she’s counseled over 3000 clients, and has worked with police on missing person and cold cases. She’s read for clients around the world, consistently astonishing them with her abilities. An expert in Tarot, Astrology and Dream Interpretation, for over thirty-five years, she’s utilized these tools to see, hear and feel messages on just about every subject. Jacklyn is a firm believer that we are the creators of our own lives and knows that Miracles are built on faith. As long as you believe, anything is possible! If you’d like a reading with this Intuitive Wonder, you can reach Jacklyn at |
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