We are all ultimately looking for love and acceptance. It sounds so simplistic, but the reality can be far more complex. Confusing sexual attraction with love is more common that you think. At times it’s not confusion at all, but a complete identification that this sexual draw means you’ve found “the one”. If that connection is only there in the bedroom, where does that leave you in the real world?
Connected energy versus sexual energy are two separate things. Yes, together they can make for fantastic relationships, but more commonly, the connection we feel is only a bond with someone over sexual attraction. Sadly, that fizzles out quickly if there is no foundation of friendship, kinship, or spiritual connection. Eventually, we wake up one morning looking at the other person thinking, “I don’t know you and I don’t even like you. It’s over.”
And I shall find some girl perhaps, and a better one than you, with eyes as wise, but kindlier, and lips as soft, but true, and I daresay she will do ~ Rupert Brooke
A friend once told me that he only “fell in love” based on the fact that he had the “best sex of his life” with someone. He believed that his entire life’s focus was to find that ultimate sex partner. To him, all the other trivial details of compatibility were a non-issue. Within a month he asked for some woman’s hand in marriage. Did she accept? Yes, she did. What were her reasons? She felt desired and loved by a very gentle man, for she recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship.
The interesting aspect of that situation was two wounded souls colliding. It became abundantly clear within weeks that they were not “in love’. The heady floating and obsessive draw to each other came undone very quickly. They had nothing much in common. They had felt a connection based on physical attraction, labeled it, stamped it and were ready to throw caution to the wind and step into a commitment, while neither were ready for.
Whether it is on a conscious or unconscious level, many people use past experiences as the measuring tool in which they compare all others. I like to explain past issues as landmines. They are planted all around you and you may not even be aware that they are there, until someone inadvertently steps on one! It may be as simple as an off-handed comment, a smell, or an action that triggers a memory. And that memory may prompt a reaction aimed at your unsuspecting partner.
Incident after incident unfolded before this couple. They had no choice but to face the fact that, other than their sex life, they had no common ground. She needed a deep emotional connection that he could not provide, and he began to understand that the sex dies down swiftly when there is no cerebral or spiritual connection.
I got off on the fact that a guy would be so into me from the get-go without really knowing me. That’s probably why I had so many bad relationships ~ Christina Applegate
I give this couple credit for honestly addressing their inner beliefs and desires. He was now highly aware that compatibility was not “trivial”. She was given confirmation that she was desirable, and although he could not fill her emotional needs, she was worthy of those needs being filled. She had now experienced a “parting of ways” in a mutually respectful and secure environment. They were both able to move onto different directions, yet still remain friends to this day. They thank each other for the lessens they both learned and share their “story” often. Now, years later they are both happily married. The four of them share a yearly retreat for young couples. It is deep, complex and awe inspiring.
Others will step on your “landmines” – they have before and will again. Is it a reaction to a past pain? Are you pushing your needs aside to accommodate the other person? Are you identifying something that is lacking? Or is it perhaps a red flag that this behavior is familiar in a negative sense? Is this a deal breaker? Take a moment to reflect, be true to self and know that either it’s a reason, a lesson, or just information you need to make the right decision for yourself.
The most beautiful aspect of landmines is that it certainly helps shape your understanding of what you don’t want, or heal past issues that you had thought you let go of. It can be the awakening to your new path, as it was for my dear friends.
| PsychicAccess.com.Isthemus is an experienced psychic advisor with her own Metaphysical Company based out of the Fraser Valley of British Columbia. A natural born empath, clairsentient, clairvoyant, intuitive Counsellor and psychic advisor. Patty still does Paranormal Investigations as well as teaching workshops on how to interpret signs. You can talk to Isthemus at |
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