Since I have moved away from the area I grew up in, I have felt free, more able to find forgiveness and heal from the wounds of my past. Unfortunately, the past came knocking at my door again a few weeks ago.
I had not told some of my relatives that I had moved. I didn’t feel the need to. I had decided long ago that being in one particular relative’s presence too often would be a detriment to my well-being and happiness. This particular relative was with me growing up and knows my history. This person continues to bring up the past and harps on events that happened many years ago.
I know in my heart of hearts that I have done everything I can to rectify the situation and make amends for any possible mistakes I might have made. I have asked this individual if we could find a way to move on, only to be met with defiance and attitude of defensiveness. I have tried being nice, compliant, and accommodating. Also, their reaction to me would be to deflect the blame from them to me and go back to the past, where I allegedly messed up in their opinion.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names ~ John F. Kennedy
Every time when I did let this person back in my life, on their terms I may add, the situation would be tense at best. Then another incident would happen, an argument or disagreement would ensue, and the cycle of the past would go on over and over again. This particular relative has apologized over and over again, only to do the same thing to me later. Even if I were to talk to this particular relative, the blame would be put on me. They would not take responsibility for their actions.
Through my journey of recovery, which I started over ten years ago, I learned along the way that forgiveness is a decision and attitude. It is a personal decision, which takes a lot of work. I know that if I go back to the negativity of this particular relative, the same cycle of abuse will just happen over and over again. I know that I have done a lot of internal healing work to reach a point of acceptance that the situation won’t change, until this particular relative gets some counseling or professional help.
When this relative contacted me again recently, a lot of emotions were stirred up. I believe when this happens, the need to get things out of your system helps with the processing. I knew that if I talked to this person I would not get anywhere, except being sucked back into family drama, chaos, and dysfunction. All the things I have worked so hard on to change in my life will be back to square one. So, I decided to write a letter to this particular relative without mailing it. This way I would move the energy out of my being, express it in a healthy manner for myself, but not this person.
It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody ~ Maya Angelou
I have been told that forgiveness is a process. I believe situations from the past will come up to remind us of people, places and things. It is how we react to them in the present that determines the future. I know in my hearts of hearts that if I had any contact, any communication with this particular relative, that I would be undermining all the healing work I have done on myself. I just cannot do that to myself.
Society has these expectations that we need to have all our relatives in our lives. But what if a particular relative is so abusive you can’t be around them? If they were just a friend, would you put up with the same behavior? I certainly wouldn’t.
The decision to forgive my relative has been an ongoing process. It has been emotionally exhausting, sad and painful. One day I hope that I will be completely at peace with it. Forgiveness is not condoning the wrong-doing – quite the contrary. Forgiveness is to free you from the past. I know the freedom that comes when you do forgive, it frees you from the pain so you can live in the present and future.
| PsychicAccess.com.Amy’s two near death experiences (NDE’s) pushed her natal psychic abilities into overdrive and her story is featured in a famous psychic medium’s new book! She’s experienced a rich life full of more ups and downs than most encounter in a lifetime, which has only helped her connect to her clients on a deeper level. Tapping into her clairvoyant, clairaudient and Mediumship abilities, Amy is a prominent radio show host, has appeared on other radio shows, and is a popular Tarot reader at Psychic Fairs and parties. This native New Yorker is an experienced energy healer, a Reiki Master, and channels gentle Angelic energies through an Integrated Energy Therapy Technique. It’s an honor for Amy to help you in your time of need. If that time is now, you can find this gifted psychic at |
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