Speak, Pray, Release – Gossip Or Healing?

Gossip, or sharing? Privacy, or protection? I don’t have the answers, but I do have lots of questions.

I once dated my friend’s brother; she did not mention he had a history as a pedophile. She did not want to “gossip” about him. Really? I had to find out for myself? Yikes!

Part of dysfunctional family systems is the culture of “remaining silent” or “keeping the secret,” usually taught to children under fear of threat by the adult violating and or abusing the child. Keeping the secret is also typically part of the family culture of alcoholism, and often also of mental illness.

Coming from such a background, many adults do not give out useful information, not realizing that it is not necessarily what everybody else does. If you were taught the culture of keeping secrets as a child, it probably never occurs to you to question that behavior or choice.

Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways ~ Sigmund Freud

So, what is gossip? It is simply mean-spirited talk about another, with absolutely no intention of resolving problems or working through issues.

Then what is venting? Venting, or sharing, means processing relationship issues with another mature being, who understands that you are working on yourself by trying to better understand your interpretations, reactions, choices, and decisions.

Hopefully your wonderful friend asks you provocative questions, uses active listening, and gives you feedback when you are venting… and possibly jumping to irrational conclusions. Perhaps your friends have another take on the person in question, or another take on you! That can be hard to hear.

Keeping secrets, being “neutral,” is not always the best way. Sometimes this is the path of cowardice. Processing takes courage, persistence and the willingness to have an open mind regarding your own behavior and mistakes. Hopefully your friends are also reminding you when it may be necessary to hand it over to a Higher Power.

After processing, we can take that experience to our Higher Self and our Spirit Guides to get an even bigger perspective on the experience, or relationship.