The question arises – can the empath be neutral? Can they assume nothing – no shape, no distinction, no opinion, even in the face of so many conflicting emotional impressions?
If you have not asked that question, it may be a good time to start. Why, you ask? Because we must learn not to judge the emotional states of others.
This is due to the fact that we need to process our emotions before we can expel or expunge them. What emotions can be termed as ‘unhealthy’ or ‘healthy’?
I would have to agree that most of us would not be able to understand what would comprise neutrality in being able to determine someone else’s emotional mindset. After all, most of us have been taught that anger is bad and that happiness in good. Sadness is weak, and anger is better than weakness – the list and definitions go on, and I believe they are relative to your environment.
Let’s say you are in a family of mostly women. Then having or sharing anger may be a positive emotion. Yet many women have been taught to subvert their anger, so in fact it may be seen as destructive. These seemingly rigid roles are exactly what makes the definition of neutrality so difficult, as it can be socially based, role based or ideology based. So many of us may come to wonder – if I am taught that anger is good for me (as a male) then why do I find it so offensive in women?
This type of notion is an important defining aspect of what is the right to perceive feeling. What I see in men as positive may not be seen as positive in women – and conversely, men may not be allowed sadness in case it is seen as weakness.
I wonder then if there should be a more gender based definition of empathy. This may be an important milestone, because even if we are ‘equal’ – still major differences appear in how women view themselves for example. In my opinion, many of us see ourselves as lesser, so we impose this on other people. Thus if we were patriarchs, the female emotional state would be deemed as positive.
There are many societies that are matriarchal – where being feminine is celebrated – such as the pacific cultures, where she is seen as the a vital embodiment of female possibilities and achievement and fecundity, the vital continuation of the human race, and the promise for the future. Yet we have embraced an exclusively patriarchal promise where our own reason to live, our raison d’être is being artificially claimed as the same as the male, even though she is defined as female. I am not so sure society can be elevated by redefining women as male – I feel they have to respected within their own roles, whatever they may be, whether mother or business woman.
Then perhaps we can redefine what the true validity of emotion is, not defined by what men tell us is fair: Anger being good in males, unsightly in females, and sadness being a poor example of modern masculinity. These vicissitudes of assignations may be one of the reasons we feel unable to feel – and why we may be over expressing ourselves or under expressing ourselves.
I am suggesting a better way for women to be seen – as not masculine, usurping or replacing the male, but in her own right, feminine, equally paid, equally educated, but with the right to feel and express anger. Believe it or not, this is changing, and many of you who do not have my life experience do not understand that yet, but I can assure you women used to have more rights than of late.
There is also a certain amount of acceptance and denial that goes on amongst us women, and I have to say that we are amongst each other the place to start this process. It doesn’t start by blaming men – it starts with us expressing care for each other, and not competing.
I guess I am asking for a union of sorts between women. Not the allegorical ‘war’ of trying to attain the best men or jobs by being masculine, and thus outpacing each other and shutting out each other’s opportunities by bad mouthing each other for each other’s success, but a true union our acceptance that we have been corralled into a form of submission by not accepting each other’s faults, submitting to gossip and sexual stereotypes. Then I feel that economic opportunities will begin to open up even more.
This is from my own personal experience – the experience of a women’s counselor that has felt so little compassion by my sisters – that I implore you that we support each other, even as the aggression against us continues to grow, the key is in us smiling – helping, feeling, accepting and not putting each other down – especially now – now is not too late. I am speaking of years of talking with women who have been accepting of lesser women, if there is such a thing, being put down and abused. This is not the society I grew up in, and I implore you not to get used to this. In the end, it will only be ‘the men that win’ if you can call it a win, because I believe many men want us to be well and happy and to support each other. Violence doesn’t always start with men, it is perpetrated through and to isolated women.
I know I may not be accepted for saying this: yet this is what we women do talk about. And I will be more aggressive in stating my anger at the murders of women we recently heard of in the news, and wear this statement with pride. Why do we accept this aggression, and we do we take each other down instead of supporting each other economically, emotionally, financially? And when will it be fair to be angry at our state of derision? As a feminist, I would have to ask not that we band together for the sake of an ideology but for the sake of comfort and support.
Perhaps then we can understand each other’s emotional states based less on negativity, and more on expression.
| PsychicAccess.com.Carmen’s waking dreams have provided accurate glimpses into the future for celebrities as well as political and international figures. Her non-judgmental, Empathic approach, as well as her unique method of Tarot reading, affords her the reputation as a groundbreaker in her field. This European born Canadian is the first online psychic to promote the idea of Empathy and emotional thought transference, and she has written a great deal on the subject. For a comprehensive Intuitive reading that will transform your life, you can find Carmen at |
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