Love. Love. Love. It consumes most of us. It can become a nagging, non-stop wanting. We feel, why not me? When is it my turn? What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t anybody love me? Am I so unlovable? Why does he tell me all these wonderful things, but his actions hurt me so bad?
The truth is, the questions should be: why am I allowing this in my life? Why can’t I find contentment in myself? Why can’t I face this void, this longing within?
Ask your higher self why you feel this way. What can you do for yourself to lessen the need to be co-depend or addicted to someone. I myself am guilty of this. This is probably one of the hardest soul lessons to learn in this lifetime.
When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you ~ Leslie Vernick
When we are born we are born into families that our souls choose. It’s no accident. So, these lessons are ones we choose, and they just keep getting harder when we ignore or keep repeating the same patterns.
So many things in childhood subconsciously influence who we are attracted to. Many people I talk with aren’t even aware that they are stuck in a pattern. Self-awareness is the first step to any healing and to any growth.
The best way forward is opening up to the God Source within! If there is a part of you that keeps saying, I can’t do this anymore… then listen to that. Honor your inner guidance. It is a sign that your soul and your guides are telling you: enough is enough, you are losing yourself in that relationship. You are on an constant emotional roller-coaster that is draining you. Time to change direction.
We all have the need to be connected to one special person. We desire it so much that we disregard the chaos it brings. We continue to make excuses. “Well, I never felt this way with anyone before,” or “I can be myself with her, I can’t do that with anyone else,” or “There is just something special there that nobody else will ever understand.”
There is no doubt we have these connections for many different reasons. I believe it is meant to teach us many different things. But, when it is unhealthy we must accept that it does not serve our highest good. When you feel addicted or extremely afraid to let go of someone who treats you badly, then you must seriously reconsider.
In these situations we often convince ourselves there is no one else is out there for us. We convince ourselves this is it for me, this is once in a lifetime. Meanwhile, such self-limiting thoughts and fears are preventing true love to enter our lives and flourish.
If someone has hurt you once, chances are they will hurt you again. They are stuck in their own pattern. If they haven’t left a marriage or other relationship to be with you, chances are they never will. If you have been with this person longer than a year, and you’re waiting for them to wake up to be the person you believe they are deep, down inside, you can prepare yourself for waiting a very long time.
There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who will go with me?” If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble ~ Sam Keen
You cannot live for that one week out of every month, when everything is good, while a few days later it’s back to the emotional ping-pong and confusion. Do you really deserve that?
Have you become so focused on helping them to become who you feel they can be, that you leave yourself on the back-burner? Have you become so fixated on someone else’s soul development or trying to get them on the same page as you, that you have abandoned yourself in the process? What about your own soul development?
It’s not easy to let go, and the more addicted you become to a person, the harder it is to let them go. Look around you and look hard! How many people do you see in this kind of epic romantic love story that lasts a lifetime? I bet you can’t even count them on one hand, if at all.
You see the ‘epic love story’ needs to be the one we have with ourselves first. Remind yourself who you were before this relationship, and look at yourself now? Do you know who you are? do you feel a loss of your sense of self? Is there a loss of control or a sense of confusion? Do you feel lost? These are all signs that you have gone off course from your soul path and your personal development.
Reconnect with yourself. Remember who you are and what you wanted out of life before you got sucked into this relationship. Give yourself the permission to stop the self-punishment! The longer we are distracted in a relationship that no longer serves us, the longer it will take to get to where we want to be and find a good lover. It’s when we love ourselves and look within not, and not outward, that we start attracting the right people into our lives .
Attend a Yoga class, create art, join the gym, enroll in a course, volunteer at a local charity. Get that degree you always dreamed of, or go after the career or business you always wanted. Get out there and do whatever makes you happy! It’s never too late to honor your soul, and when we do the universe answers.
The same applies to those of us who are single and looking. Some get so impatient. Yes, it can be a lonely world. We all crave hugs, kisses and affection, but keep yourself occupied with positive soul development: friends, family, places, retreats, concerts, hobbies. Giving into a relationship because of vulnerability and loneliness will not serve your highest good. That emptiness will still linger, because you have settled too easily. Never try to make a square fit into a circle. If it doesn’t fit, don’t try to force it. You may just be missing out on that perfect fit in future.
Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors ~ Melody Beattie
Never settle, and never neglect to see those red flags. The “love of your life” may make all kinds of excuses for them, but always trust your gut feeling. There is no sense in reasoning with your intuition. You will know without question when The One has finally arrived. If you have doubts or questions, then think again.
Meanwhile, build your self-love up and learn whatever lessons you need to, before that someone special comes into your life. When we go against our highest good the addiction, co-dependency and emotional roller-coasters happen. We soon feel chewed up and spat out by the other person’s needs. “Oh, how do I stop loving him so, so much?” Ask yourself that again in a few years.
This is your wake-up call. Honor your true and deepest feelings. Honor your soul. Honor yourself. Jump off that roller-coaster, no matter how hard you have to fall when you hit the ground. Do it now, before you lose more precious time… and more of yourself.
You are beautiful. You are a being of pure light. Be kind to yourself. And it is never too late.
I recommend you perform this healing ritual:
1. Write a letter or journal about the relationship until you have expressed all your feelings.
2. Read the letter and contemplate the words.
3. Have a prayer session asking your guides to help you release this person and pattern from your life.
4. Bury, burn or tear up the paper as you say: “This no longer serves my highest good. I ask for the courage and clarity I need to begin a new life, and I now release you from my mind, body, spirit, and life!”
5. Envision the white light of the Holy Spirit surrounding you, like a bubble protecting you like a shield.
About The Author: Lyndsey is an Empathic Intuitive living on the East Coast, adept in the use of numerology and astrology. She engages in meditation before every reading, and incorporates the messages she receives from her guides. She'll even save you the cost of a pregnancy test, having accurately predicted all of her friends' pregnancies including the genders of the unborn babies! Lyndsey knows what it's like to struggle with anxiety and has all the psychic tools to help you become empowered and confident. If you'd like a reading with this incredibly accurate and mystical lady, you can find Lyndsey at PsychicAccess.com.
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