You’ve reached a point in your life where you have thought about having children. Chances are, you have already passed other milestones in your life, such as finishing your career and getting married, and you see having children as the next logical step.
Forget the fact that children are expensive. Keep in mind how much you make at your career per year. Children cost around $250,000 to raise over a lifetime. Divide that by 18 years and you get $13,888.88 per child per year.
It adds up pretty quickly if you have more than just one child, and can quickly put a strain on your already fragile finances. With the current divorce rate at around 50%, never assume that you and your spouse will be together forever to help split the expenses.
It’s important to remember that just because society pressures us to have children, we should listen to our instincts ~ Michelle Rogerson
Often times this is considered a taboo subject. After all, a woman is supposed to want to have kids, right? Society looks down on those who decide not to have children, as they are considered strange.
What I am about to give you is the non-sugar coated version of what to think about – and this comes straight from the frontlines. This is the realistic way to approach this particular subject matter. Here are some things to consider before you think about taking that huge step.
1. Say Goodbye To Your Current Social Life
One of the first things that is going to go is your social life as you knew it. Do you often look forward to a night out with your girlfriends, sipping wine after work and having a good time? You won’t be able to do that anymore, because you have a child to go home to and take care of and who needs you.
2. Say Goodbye To Sleeping In
Nothing beats being able to sleep in on the weekends after a hard day’s work the previous day. If you had a rough night of partying the Friday night before, and must sleep it off, you are able to do so. This is not the case when you have a child. When you have a child, if you’re lucky, you can sleep until 9:00am. If not, your child will get up at the crack of dawn bright eyed and bushy tailed. Your child will not care how hard you played the night before.
3. Say Goodbye To Being Spontaneous
Remember when you could plan a romantic weekend getaway with your spouse at a moment’s notice? Throw that out of the window. Before you get to do that, your days will be spent planning ahead for everything, including finding a weekend sitter who will watch your child, while you have your romantic getaway. Even then sitters are subject to back out of the job at the very last minute, leaving you stuck with either taking your child with you, or worse yet, having to give up going altogether. You will be lucky to get a refund of your money you spent.
4. Say Goodbye To Saving Any Money
Remember how you like to save money for that rainy day when you might need it? You won’t be able to do that anymore! All of your money and then some will be going to raise your child, who will come up with last second necessary expenses that make saving money a luxury of the past.
5. Say Goodbye To Your Clean House
Remember how you like to have your house clean and in order for everything, with a place for everything and everything in its place? That will be a thing of the past. You will have toys upon toys strewn across the floor. You can basically count on everything you have neatly aligned in its place to be pulled off the shelves and out of the cabinets faster than a tornado destroys a town. You will be left in its wake for sure.
6. Say Goodbye To Your Alone Time
Everyone that is on the face of the planet loves their alone time. It gives them time to read, and contemplate things as well as plan for the future. Well, when you have a child you can forget any type of alone time ever again in life. You will have a child that will be so enamored with asking the question “why”, or constantly bugging you for a drink every 5 seconds, or somehow getting into some sort of mischief, as children will do.
As I grow older, I am more and more convinced that there are many roads to personal fulfillment — and that having children is not for everyone ~ Garry Wilmore
7. Say Goodbye To Sleeping Through The Night
One of the basics that people without children take for granted is the ability to sleep thru the night peacefully with no interruptions. This will be a thing of the past when you have a child. For at least the first year or so after you have a child, you will find yourself getting up on average once every 2 to 3 hours because your child will wake up crying. You will then spend an average of 45 minutes awake with changing diapers and feeding and burping, only to get up and do the whole thing over again. Keep in mind you still have to get up early to get ready for work. This takes a physical and emotional toll on the new parent.
8. Understand The Meaning Of Lifetime Commitment
Keep in mind that you will be a parent to your children well beyond the first 18 years of life. From the time they are born until the day that you–the parent–dies, you will be the parent to all of your children. This includes helping pay for college and other expenses after you’re initially done raising them for the first 18 years of their lives. With the current state of the US economy, more and more grown adult children are finding themselves having to move back in with their parents after college because even with a college degree, they are having trouble with finding a job.
9. Realize That Having Children Can Break Up A Marriage/Relationship
In December 2008 I found out I was pregnant. By May of 2009, the relationship I was in was over. It was not a “spur of the moment” short term romance. On the contrary – when the relationship ended, I had invested 4 years and 7 months of my life into it. My, how pregnancy changes everything! This pregnancy wasn’t planned, but then again 90% of the world’s children are unplanned. I had been using birth control religiously when I found out I was pregnant. Don’t say it can’t happen to you. I know of couples who were happily married with no children who divorced soon after children came into the picture. Children can put a hefty strain on marriage and long term relationships. Sex goes out the window for the most part. You have very little time for each other, much less time for being intimate with your partner. Often times both of you are just too exhausted for sex and romance, and over time, relationships corrode because of it. I’m willing to bet the divorce rate would be around 20% or less if half of the couples married decided not to have children, and instead decided to focus on themselves or their careers. There are other ways you can get your “kid fix” without having children.
About The Author: Jessica's Scottish, Irish & Native American heritage, along with her comprehensive study of religion, has afforded her a rich set of belief systems to draw upon. This, combined with her powerful Empathic & Intuitive abilities, has molded her into a unique psychic, unlike any other. Since 1999, this Southern Belle from Georgia has read for thousands, and offers every client an entire host of choices and combinations of techniques—all of them incredibly accurate! For a complete reading that will leave you full and utterly satisfied, you can find Jessica at PsychicAccess.com.
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