Everyday our lives serve as a mirror for us to truly see where we need to grow, and where we need to give. Relationships provide a very personal mirror for revealing the beliefs, attitudes and points of growth within us.

When things are flowing smoothly it’s easy to see beauty and express love. When things become conflicted and full of turmoil we tend to blame others, circumstances and events for our unhappiness. During the times when things are challenging, we have the biggest opportunity to grow.

How others relate to us can be a very big mirror. When others seem hostile, angry or selfish, we want to point blame. We in turn get defensive and can easily see their faults and faulty beliefs. How often do we stop our judgments of others and ask ourselves “What do I have to learn from this about myself?”

Life is a mirror: if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting ~ William Makepeace Thackeray

In romantic relationships we are quick to feel injured, abandoned and rejected when the object of our desire doesn’t respond in accord with our desires. In turn we withdraw, disconnect or retaliate. This energy only perpetuates our negative feelings and can destroy a relationship quickly.

Daily practice of mindfulness and meditation can create conscious and loving behaviors in you and in turn those around you. When things around you begin to feel chaotic, overwhelming or just dissatisfying ask these questions:

What am I projecting to others and my environment?

What am I thinking about this situation or person?

How can I change my thoughts and feelings about this to reflect love?

What Am I really upset about?

What can I give to someone else that I feel I am lacking?

When you begin to clarify how you feel, and shift to a place of love for yourself and others, you will instantly see a shift of energy. Sometimes that means allowing others to feel angry, sad or take time alone.

Allowing others the freedom to express themselves fully is the ultimate act of love. If they are being abusive then it is up to you to stay a safe distance from them. Know you can’t change someone and accept you can only change yourself.

Bernadette © 2012. All Rights Reserved.